Looking for a HB midwife in Missouri.

[thefreckledmama]

I've decided to try posting here, because this question has been asked countless times in the Missouri FYT area, and everyone says to contact Friends of Missouri Midwives. I've done that-my local contact person is actually an acquaintance. We emailed briefly, and I haven't heard from her since the beginning of the week. Normally I wouldn't be so impatient, but since MW's only take on a few clients a month, I'm already into my second trimester, and the holidays are coming up (which just always seem like a difficult time to get things going), I don't want to miss my opportunity to have a home birth (and I'd also like to officially "fire" my OB ). Plus, the sooner I find a MW, the longer I have to pay her before the baby is born-which is probably the biggest point fueling my impatience.

That being said, can anyone refer me to a midwife in Missouri? I'm in Lincoln County. If you'd rather PM me, please do . I'm also willing to give my contact info through PM to be passed along if they'd rather contact me.

[rachel65655]

FOMM will not give out names and contact information for midwives. Seems ridiculous. How are people supposed to find them anyway.

If you were in SW MO I would be able to help you but I don't know of any around the St. Louis area.

[crunchy_mama]

It is not ridiculous that they do not give out contact info, considering the law and the fact that there are few practicing mw's that are CPMs as of now and of course even fewer that are CNMs. I am not familiar enough w/ the area to know how close you are to St. Louis but there is a CPM up there named Dana Albilio(sp?). Personally I do not know all the options in the St. Louis area. FoMM is really your best shot, I would just email the lady back. I know of a mw on here that *might* do that area, but not sure, but she will have to initiate contact- I won't make that decision myslef just based on a message posted online- not to be rude- but considering the risk mw's go to provide such an invaluable service there is very good reason to protect them.

[MsBlack]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mama

It is not ridiculous that they do not give out contact info, considering the law and the fact that there are few practicing mw's that are CPMs as of now and of course even fewer that are CNMs. I am not familiar enough w/ the area to know how close you are to St. Louis but there is a CPM up there named Dana Albilio(sp?). Personally I do not know all the options in the St. Louis area. FoMM is really your best shot, I would just email the lady back. I know of a mw on here that *might* do that area, but not sure, but she will have to initiate contact- I won't make that decision myslef just based on a message posted online- not to be rude- but considering the risk mw's go to provide such an invaluable service there is very good reason to protect them.

Yeah, THAT! Thanks Crunchy, for saying it.

When a mw can be arrested on felony charges merely for being at a birth (NOT because of 'problems at a birth' or 'poor practice' on her part, but merely for being there)....well they are not in a hurry to put their names on billboards tho I'm sure many would like to!

So you have to understand this--and try to be patient, tolerant, and dedicated in your efforts to find a hb mw. From the stories I've heard over the years, some mamas seemed to have found their mw by sheer unwavering will power....with circuitous routes finally leading them to a mw. An inconvenience, yes--but a necessary one at this time.

[rachel65655]

I guess that came out kinda wrong...not exactly how I meant it to anyways.

It is frustrating to be looking for a midwife and there are people out there who know the names and contact info for ones and won't give it out or even pass along your information to midwives for them to contact you instead.

When you are the odd ball in your social circle and everyone else has traditional hospital/OB births it's not like you can just ask your friend "so and so" who she used or recommends.

It was especially frustrating to me because I am very good friends with a midwife from northern Arkansas and she had given me some contact info for some midwives in MO. Nobody wanted to have anything to do with me because I was pregnant with twins and they didn't have any suggestions as to who else I could call either. It would have been very helpful to have some way to find a midwife who would consider delivering twins but when you have exhausted all the contacts you do have already and done countless hours of search in the Internet...what are you do to?

FoMM wants to promote and advocate home birth but they don't want to help mommas find a midwife...???

And...with midwifery being legal in MO now, I don't see why they would be at risk of being arrested for practicing...I understand about unlicensed midwives being at risk...but if you practicing under the confines of the law, why should you be afraid?

[crunchy_mama]

The thing is that last I knew there was only 1 officially legal mw in the St. Louis area- where I am in southeast MO there is none, in SW MO there is only a couple that are legal. So, if you are looking for that option it is just that it doesn't exist period.

I full well know the frustration. As I said there are NONE in my area. NO ONE I know has had a hb period. I kept on and kept on and kept on contacting FoMM until someone gave my contact info to the right person and I did end up with a DEM last time- who was about 2 hrs away. This time I happened to be in the right place at the right time- saying the right things to the right people and ended up w/ another DEM about 2.5 hrs away.

I know the options really, really stink. There are so few period for our state and because of that their names are heavily guarded and I am sure that makes them even more cautious w/ higher risk cases due to the law. I do hope that as time goes on that more mw's are able to get certification and perhaps OBs are more accepting, as it is now even w/ a legal mw they aren't getting any respect from the ob community in general and there is that stress as well. It truly is still underground and a lot more has to change before that can change.

[thefreckledmama]

My frustration lies in the the fact that CPM's have been legal for over a year now. In Western Missouri, it is not nearly as difficult to find a midwife, and it's all the same state. I appreciate and understand the need for midwives to protect themselves. It's just disappointing that after a year, things are still so difficult in Missouri.

Anyway, that's why I'm posting here-going with the "every possible avenue" approach.

[crunchy_mama]

I know I had hoped things would be so easy w/ this pregnancy after having such a hard time finding anyone last time. But the process is not a really easy one and is very expensive as well- unfortunately in this area there isn't as much demand for mw's to support the movement- hopefully that changes. I do know that Dr. Duhart dying really left a void and a lot in that area used him for a hb option. It really does seem like at least in the St. Louis area there would be more options due to the bigger seemingly more "crunchy" population, but it doesn't seem that is the case. I know I interviewed the CPM in St. Louis and even she didn't seem to be totally sure she was going to be sticking w/ staying in the profession due to the stress of it all.

[MsBlack]

As I understand it, many of the DEMs are planning to sit the NARM exam to become CPMs in MO---but that whole process can take some time. Surely a few DEMs in MO were basically ready to sit the NARM the minute the law changed....but many had to jump through various and sundry hoops in order to prepare. Then there is coming up with $1400. to become a CPM....and finding a date/place to sit the exam that is close enough to your own location (or being held during a mw conference that you can get to, further away). I believe that some DEMs did sit the NARM in August--but even getting the exam reviewed, finishing the rest of the paperwork to actually receive your paperwork....I don't know if any of those who sat the test and passed actually have their certs in hand yet.

Just saying that yes, one might think that lots of CPMs would be at the ready, a year after the changed law--but there are a lot of hoops and considerations which have kept this process slow for many. Not to mention that while many CPMs elsewhere are happy to know of a newly-legal state where they can practice safely, well--let's face it, most of MO is not exactly considered a 'dream destination' for those from other states!

You keep up the efforts! You would not believe some of those stories I've heard about finding a mw, sometimes during the last few days of pregnancy. Go on as much as possible 'as if' you are having a homebirth--be prepared in all ways you can think of. And keep praying, asking around, digging under rocks--your determination will draw a mw to you, if there is one to be found anywhere within a 100miles or more.

[crunchy_mama]

on a personal note- just wanted to add I apologize if my post have came off grumpy- I am grumpy today Really, I do emphathize- as I said I have been there myself, but I don't know that particular area well to know if there is anyone even up there. I would be on the FoMM lady as much as you can be and begging her to pass along your info to anyone that is in your area. I wish you the best of luck. I agree with MsBlack- keep the hope alive! I didn't officially have a MW until my second trimester both pregnancies. I have kept OB care both times though as in case of a transfer I don't want to be stuck w/ a horrible on call dr and the mw can only serve as a doula in that case. Also, I am rh- and need access to the shot.

[rachel65655]

The midwife that I did finally find is just over 3 hours away from me. I know that she has had clients in the St. Louis area before and don't know if it was a special case or if she does it a lot. I will ask her if she does that routinely and pass on her contact info if she does.

[rachel65655]

http://birthpartners.com/s-1-29-miss...viderBase.aspx

Here is a link to some midwives in MO. I hope you can find one that is close.