Do I need to let someone know that we aren't going to circ & when?

[girlzmommy00]

This is baby #4 for me but little boy #1. Thankfully DH quickly agreed with me that we won't circ this little guy with out any debate.

Do I need to announce to someone that we don't want him circ'd? Like my OB while I'm still pg, the nurses in L&D or someone shortly after he's born? Do they have you sign paper work to consent to it or say no way and if so, at what point do they present you with those papers?

I just want to make sure there's no confusion at the hospital & that he can't be circ'd with out my consent. That they won't just take him to have it done with out asking or having me sign something first or "oops we forgot to ask".

I'm high risk & given my past labor experiences & medical issues, I don't have a birth plan to add this into since we've always had to just go with what was medically necessary at the time. This is really the only thing I know in advance that I have a specific demand about.

If it helps any, I'm in the states & live in NJ. Thank you!

[pammysue]

We didn't do anything special, except DH stayed with the baby any time he was out of my room. The ped asked when he checked him and several of the nurses asked as they changed shifts and we had no problems.

[lach]

They asked us when we pre-registered, and we had to sign a form where we had to check off yes/no about circ and the other things they do (vitamin K, etc). The only other time it was mentioned was one of the peds who did the daily checks asked us if we were going to do it, and we said no and he said okay. No one else ever batted an eye (and he didn't even really, he just asked. I didn't feel his tone was judgmental).

[RJones1204]

You could write up a "postpartum plan". Include things like if you plan to BF, or if it is ok for the nurses to offer binkies or bottles in the nursery. That sort of thing. And mention about your plans to not circ. I would be discussing it with everyone. Make a copy of your plans and talk to your Dr and put them in your medical folder. Also talk to ALL the nurses at the hospital. Make sure if you are not with your LO then your DH is at ALL times.
Make sure you preregister about 1mth in advance (assuming you aren't having a planned C section anyhow). Cause it has been known to happen that ladies go to the hospital and 100 papers are shoved in front of their faces and they sign something they didn't mean to.

[pammysue]

You could also ask about your particular hospital in your local Finding Your Tribe. You could get a better feel for how well armed you should be.

[Fellow Traveler]

You should ask your doctors what the situation is. Typically, you have to sign a form but depending on the staff they may try and lean on you. So make sure your doctors and nurses are aware of your refusal. And for added assurance, don't let your son out of your sight.

[CrunchyKnitter]

We had it in our birth plan, but you could also just tell them. I'm not 100% sure, but I would assume, I would HOPE!, that they need you to sign consent forms before they, you know, cut off a piece of your child! Do you plan on being with him at all times?If so, then I wouldn't worry too much. DS never left my side except for a few trips to the nursery for weight checks and then my husband took him and broughthim back to our room minutes later.

[eepster]

Hi, I'm in NJ too.

My biggest mistake was informing the pediatrician that we didn't want to circ, instead of the OB. It never occurred to me an OB would be the one doing it. So, yes inform the OB. It's still a good idea to tell the pediatrician too.

Especially if you give birth on the weekend and end up with the back up Dr, be prepared for them to come back and try to pressure you into it while you're alone in your room, exhausted and on pain medication.

Read everything you sign several times. They will probably hand you forms to sign while you are in active labor, read them anyway.

The nurses are going to try to convince your DH that you need him and the baby doesn't and he should stay in the room with you instead of following the baby around.

The nurses will come in the middle of the night and take the baby while you are sleeping. Make sure you have someone with you to send to retrieve your baby.

[GoodMomma]

Let them know upon admission because they will ask, especially if they know you're having a boy. Also...my sister made a little sign for her sons hospital crib saying "I'm intact so don't retract!" Cute little reminder to the staff to leave his penis alone. Congrats and good luck!

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Make a sign for his isolette that says you are not circing. Mistakes can and do happen though rare but why chance it. We have had at least 2 stories here where the baby was circed without consent. The nurse came and got the baby for bath and checks and brought him backed circed Anyone who comes and gets your baby should be told that you are not circing. If you can never let him go to the nursery without someone with him.

[Kismet_fw]

Someone should be with the baby at all times, because too many things you don't want and WILL get billed for can happen no matter how good the hospital is. It can be your DH, your mom, a designated friend or grandma who's name you provide to the entire staff as your doula who will speak up, you even if they have to go and get you a wheelchair. Put a sign on his isolette with "NO CIRCUMCISION" in big, clear letters. Do not sign anything until you and DH have both read it. Don't leave it to chance.

[lach]

Originally Posted by pammysue

You could also ask about your particular hospital in your local Finding Your Tribe. You could get a better feel for how well armed you should be.

Wow, reading all these comments I'll second this plan. I guess it depends on the hospital? At mine no one blinked an eye, but based on some of the advice here it seems like maybe some hospitals are more aggressive about it? I certainly never felt that my son was unsafe if DH or I left him.

[snazzy_mom]

I would tell any and everybody, right off the bat. I had advised my ob, and all of his partners that I would not be circ'ing any of my sons, and sure enough, every shift change at the hospital, the nurses came in asked when (not if) he was being done, I kept my babies in the room with me at all times too.

[moaningminny]

Reading this makes me so sad. Up here in Canada (at least where I am) it's not even asked since they don't even perform circs in hospitals here anymore. I cannot believe how much pressure those in the US seem to get from the hospital - why should they even be asked if they want it done? To me, the onus should be on the parent to request it, not the hospital asking them. It shouldn't even be on the radar.

It all just seems so strange to me, and I can't quite explain why. I'm just sorry for all of you who have to deal with that garbage.

[bubbamummy]

Originally Posted by eepster

The nurses will come in the middle of the night and take the baby while you are sleeping. Make sure you have someone with you to send to retrieve your baby.

wow...they would really do this? If I found out anyone had even touched my baby without asking me id be furious!!

[SlackerDad]

Originally Posted by moaningminny

Reading this makes me so sad. Up here in Canada (at least where I am) it's not even asked since they don't even perform circs in hospitals here anymore. I cannot believe how much pressure those in the US seem to get from the hospital - why should they even be asked if they want it done? To me, the onus should be on the parent to request it, not the hospital asking them. It shouldn't even be on the radar.

It all just seems so strange to me, and I can't quite explain why. I'm just sorry for all of you who have to deal with that garbage.

Oh, I fully understand why it seems strange. It SHOULD be strange--and it is disturbing that it is in fact so routine.

I'm sure on the West Coast (where it is now the minority who are circed) it is not like this. But in the smallish town (17,000 pop.) in Missouri where we live (until DW finishes her master's, at which point we plan to move to Portland, OR) it is very much the norm. In fact, when my first wife and I took a tour of the maternity ward, one stop on the tour is "and if you're having a boy, here's where he'll get circumcised". I quickly and emphatically responded "we are having a boy, but we are NOT getting him circumcised". The nurse looked completely flummoxed, like I had said we were planning on, I don't know, not giving our baby a name or something. She slowly and hesitantly responded "wellll...uhhhh....I guessss if you're not going to consent to that, they wouldn't do it" like since she'd never heard of such a thing she'd have to check! It was annoying, and beyond that it made clear the fact that this hospital (which serves as the regional hospital for a large chunk of northeast Missouri) has a 100% circ rate.

[SlackerDad]

Originally Posted by bubbamummy

wow...they would really do this? If I found out anyone had even touched my baby without asking me id be furious!!

Another Missouri hospital story: after we decided not to use the hospital in northeast MO and instead use a birthing center in Columbia, MO (where the university of MO is, and generally a pretty cool, progressive, "crunchy" town in many respects) we ended up having to transport to the hospital. I was vigilant about keeping our son with us at all times and would not let the nurses take him to the nursery, where apparently all the other babies were like it was still the 1950s and no one had heard of rooming in. The head nurse for that department became so incensed with me that despite my trying to be as polite as possible about it ("yeah, I know it's a hassle to have to bring your equipment to our room to do checks, and I'm sorry for your trouble--it's just important to us to keep him with us") she would not look at me or speak to me except to minimally announce her purpose in coming to the room. Very uncomfortable. And this is at the teaching hospital for the U of MO.

Ironically, we had our second child (a daughter) back up at the hospital I was talking about in the previous post, and they were very supportive (stunningly supportive, I thought) of rooming in. Go figure...

[Fay]

Around the sixth month of pregnancy, you'll probably fill out the hospital pre-registration forms. Somewhere in the forms is usually a question about circ, just answer NO in big letters. You can also write NO CIRCUMCISION on the top of your hospital paperwork, on your hospital bracelet and on your baby's hospital bracelet as soon s he's born. Some parents write NO CIRCUMCISION on a card that they place in the baby's portable bassinet. Tell your OB before the baby is born and again right before you deliver.