Almost 3yo DD, abrupt behavior change? HELP!

[mi.birthdoula]

I've not really posted on the GD board before but we are trying to keep with the GD philosophies with our little ones but...

DD#2 will be 3 in jan, and she has always been the sweetest, most kind, gentlest, mildest mannered living being we had ever seen...up until about 2 weeks ago. She never used to whine or throw tantrums about ANYTHING, but now she does ALL.THE.TIME. It literally started over night. We will try to pick her up and console her, spend one on one time with her, distract her, anything to get her to calm down. But nothing is working. She will just break down for absolutely no reason about 3-4 times a day right now. She has even thrown such a fit once that she actually passed out from it. She's really got me frazzled right now because I'm afraid she will do it again, and it really freaks me out.

Also, it is definitely NOT because of baby brother being born either. We spend TONS of time with just her, and also her with the baby, and she absolutely adores him, and is very protective of him as well. She will tell people who come up to see him "this is my baby brother Rohnin. You can't touch him though because you might have germs and get him sick and that would make me sad 'cause I love him so much." Seriously, word for word this is what she just told someone today while we were shopping (it made my heart swell.) She is very well spoken for her age too which always surprises people, so I also know its not from a lack of being able to communicate with us.

My questions are:

~Any one else experience such a radical change in their DC behavior around this age before?

~Any ideas on what might be causing this?

~Any suggestions on how to help her cope? (or us for that matter!)

I know from lurking here that there are some pretty amazing momma's on the GD board, so I'm hoping someone has some suggestions we can try.

TIA!

[Wild Lupine]

I don't have experience with the rapid starting of this behavior, but I do know that it is normal for the age. In my DD's case, who is two months older than your, is that it started gradually and eased off gradually.

No real answers, but just a couple of thoughts. Maybe it is related to her brother being born in the sense that se realizes she's not a baby anymore. Over the last two months my DD has wanted to regress, literally saying, 'I'm a baby', she's regressed with pottying, eating (wanting to be fed), asking to be rocked, etc... (At the same time as insisting on doing things for herself, it's a two steps forward one step back thing with her.) It can be stressful to realize grow up and become more self-sufficient, and maybe that's what triggered the changes in your DD. I know you are spending lots of time with her, but have you tried regressing her a little?

Also, what's her sleeping like? DD gave up her nap for good a couple of months ago. Before she did this her mods and energy level were unpredictable. Once she gave it up- and she was ready for it- she began sleeping much more at night, much later in the morning, and seemed better tempered for it. The few months leading up to her being ready to drop the nap were tough- late bed times if she took a nap, difficult evenings if she didn't, unpredictable morning wake up times- but once she switched it was wonderful. (Though I really miss that time during the day to myself, but that's a different issue.)

I don't know if any of this helps you at all, I hope another Mama her has some good advice.

[IselaCB]

Have you noticed more in the past week...since the time change? I know my nearly 3 year old has had a really hard time this week with his sleep all messed up.
I also just had a baby in early August and I've noticed that even though he has always been super sweet to the baby, he does get kind of spazzy when he is in need of some extra attention.
As for the tantrums...I think it may be a combination of a three year old thing and the new baby. He really wants to be the *big boy* and do things himself and be Mr. Independent, he's becoming more and more aware of everything around him and how it effects him and he's still coming to terms with not getting all the attention, especially now that she's not a sleepy newborn anymore. I hear him often saying to "just put her in the basket!" It's a hard time for an almost three year old and I have to remind myself of that in the midst of these new tantrums.

[rzberrymom]

My DD was a super easy-going 2 year old, but became an absolute handful for us from age 3 to 3 1/2. Seriously, the change was just unbelievable, and I had no idea what to do. But, things started to mellow out again at 3 1/2 and I got my sweet kid back again.

One thing I wish I'd done to get through that 6 month period was to read Playful Parenting--I kept meaning to, and I think it might have really helped.

[mom2tatum]

Here's my 3 yo situation...I thought the responses I got were very insightful and helpful, along with my own figuring it out and our action plan worked immediate wonders. The more I hear, 3 is toughest for most parents.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...5#post14641685

Lori