or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › You know you are a mom when...
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

You know you are a mom when... - Page 4

post #61 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by PicklinQueen View Post
you eat baby poop by mistake. and then think to yourself, oh this doesnt taste so bad.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heavenly View Post
wtf?!
I second that "wtf?!"
post #62 of 105
maybe a mommy brain freeze, typo... should have typed food.
Lets hope so!
post #63 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phridae View Post
I second that "wtf?!"
me three
post #64 of 105
when after a day spent entirely with 3 yr olds or less you begin to think "crew" and "do-ed" are perfectly acceptable (even desirable) past tenses of "cry" and "do".

Eg: I was just playing with him (baby brother) and he crew!
post #65 of 105
You've never been one for vandalism but you fantasize about pouring sugar into the gas tank of the idiot that revs his bike engine as he drives past your window when the baby is ALMOST asleep.

You stopped paying for cable and watch all of your movies and TV online...because you can pause it when the baby needs you. (I'd never know what was going on if I had to watch it live)

"It's just pee"

Your book collection used to be novels and now it's all parenting related (Protecting the Gift or Vaccine Book anyone?)
post #66 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by EnviroBecca View Post
...when it's a huge luxury to be able to do your (weekly...) leg-shaving without having to swing those legs over your child's head while answering questions about how he could have come out of THERE and discouraging investigation.
So glad I'm not the only one who does this! Thank goodness he can't ask questions yet.
post #67 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by MadiMamacita View Post
me three
four. I cannot imagine accidently eating baby poop. And it tasting ok? Blerch!
post #68 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by PicklinQueen View Post
you eat baby poop by mistake. and then think to yourself, oh this doesnt taste so bad.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phridae View Post
I second that "wtf?!"
I've never accidentally ate it but I once stuck it in my ear by accident, had no idea it was on my finger until my finger *squished* when I scratched in my ear I can see how one might accidentally eat it

Oh yeah totally use made up tenses of words. Dood (did) slewed (slid)

Here's one from DH: When someone barfs in your lap and you keep on eating.

When you tell a cop that you know you found the damage done to your van at ten o-clock because sesame street had just come on.

When you try on shirts by seeing if your boobs can easily be popped out.

When you get a small plate of food because you know you're eating everyone else's when they don't eat it. (wait that should be dh too lol)

When someone yells "there's a turd/barf on the floor" and you say "cat or baby?"

When you pick up said baby turd with your bare hands because you've done so. much. worse. :Puke
post #69 of 105
when hunting the house for the mysterious missing toddler poop seems normal and you attempt to recruit your visiting sister in the search.

when you drop your piece of chicken on the floor, you pick it up, pull the cat hair off and eat it anyway because you are too hungry and tired to walk to the kitchen for a new piece.
post #70 of 105
when you get to go to walmart, alone for the first time in MONTHS, and with cash in pocket, and look up to find yourself automatically heading for the toy aisle.
post #71 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by KristaDJ View Post
I've never accidentally ate it but I once stuck it in my ear by accident, had no idea it was on my finger until my finger *squished* when I scratched in my ear I can see how one might accidentally eat it
This. Not the "stuck it in my ear" part, but I'm totally onboard with the stealthy nature of baby poop!

What on earth is A&D? I don't know why it's so funny to use it for toothpaste, because I don't know what it is. (That said...I know someone who once grabbed Speed Sew, instead of KY...big "oops".)


When you get home from grocery shopping and realize that you have lipstick across one cheek, eyeliner almost to your hairline, and half your ponytail is tugged out - and you're too happy, because the kid made it home with his clothes on, to even care.

And, on that note - when you've had to extricate your child's sock from the shopping basket of the woman behind you at the grocery store.

When you've been relieved to have red nail polish spilled on your couch...because you initially thought it was blood.

When you only notice that your hair is full of drool when you go to take out your ponytail.

When you can't feel the neck cramps, because the little one lying against you has fallen asleep.
post #72 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post

What on earth is A&D? I don't know why it's so funny to use it for toothpaste, because I don't know what it is.

Diaper cream.
post #73 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by SactoMommy View Post
Diaper cream.
Oh. Yuck.
post #74 of 105
So true about the rocking side-to-side thing. My MIL admits to this and her baby is 25, so uh. . . yeah, I think it's permanent.

When the baby wakes up only ONCE in the night and you feel like it was the best night of sleep EVER.

When your queen size bed feels roomy because there is only ONE kid in it.

When you go out by yourself for groceries and have a better conversation with your husband via text message than you were able to have at home with kids interrupting.

When you are inserting a tampon and notice that your 12 month old is squatting down to get a better view of what is going on.

When you can randomly sing "Do do de do do. . . " and someone in your house will ALWAYS yell back, "MENOMENA!"

When the baby spits up or has a diaper leak all over your bed in the middle of the night and you throw a prefold or blanket over it and go back to sleep, because you'd rather sleep on dirty sheets than get up and change the bed.

When you discover your baby climbing on open dishwasher door or sitting in a kitchen drawer and you run for your cellphone so you can send a picture to your husband at work.

When you are glad that the neighbor brings their dog over because the floor is cleaner after their visit
post #75 of 105
When every item on your Christmas wish list is either baby related or getting back in shape post-baby related.

When you very nearly throw the dog out the window because he starts barking as soon as the baby is asleep, and the only thing that stops you is the baby falling right back to sleep.

When you realize that the very thought of something bad happening to your child is the worst form of torture ever invented.
post #76 of 105
When you reach out to catch your toddler's vomit with both bare hands WHILE you're eating dinner and you don't batt an eye. Hey, its easier than cleaning the floor otherwise!

When you jabber away at the check out person because they're the first and only adult you've talked to all day....and you feel giddy about it.

When you would rather eat standing up so your kids don't see what you're eating and want some of it.

When you start to wear aprons around the house because its handy to have a face/snot wipe with pockets that can hold a dolly ring, hair clip and puzzle piece. Best of all, you keep your shirt tails cleaner that way.

When your music tastes are still stuck back in the 80's/90's because thats the last time you actually had time to follow music trends.

When you have no idea who that actor/actress/singer is because you haven't had time to watch movies/TV/listen to adult music.

But you know who Bobs and Lolo, Raffi and Sharon/Lois/Bram are.

When your Dh actually goes and gets concert tickets for the two of you, secures the grandparents for overnight babysitting, and you secretly want to stay home just so you can sit on the couch and veg unmolested. : that was me last night.
post #77 of 105
Thread Starter 
You no longer buy clothes unless they fit the magical three criteria:

A. You can wear them while you're pregnant
B. You can wear them after having the baby
C. Your breasts are easily accessible when wearing it


Visitors are not allowed to stay long enough to need to use the potty because you don't have time to scrub the shower often enough and you're too embarrassed for them to see the mildew stains starting to build up

There's always a weird smell coming from somewhere and you never seem to be able to find it.

You quickly learn to check inside the oven BEFORE turning it on.

You have poison control on your speed dial.

More than sixty seconds of silence sends you into a little bit of a panic.

You ask people to spit food into your bare hand.
post #78 of 105
Just happened last night:

When you can see that the baby is about to spit up while hes sleeping in your arms, so you turn him to one side so he can do it onto the floor, and not on himself, because you would rather clean the floor then have to change the sleeping baby that takes F.O.R.E.V.E.R to fall asleep.

on this note
Quote:
Originally Posted by OperaDiva View Post
When you realize that the very thought of something bad happening to your child is the worst form of torture ever invented.
When movies you have seen before many many times suddenly become difficult to watch or take on new meaning, because now you have children. Its like you see things from a completly different perspective.

You also begin to worry about things that never ever bothered you before. I.e. mandatory vaccination or martial law. You can litterally keep your self awake at night sick with all these new thoughts running through your head that, just 3 years ago, you didn't even know those terms existed.
post #79 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbie64g View Post

When movies you have seen before many many times suddenly become difficult to watch or take on new meaning, because now you have children. Its like you see things from a completly different perspective.
This is me. I cannot watch anything thats gory, slightly scary, involves children getting hurt, anything. It's terrible and it drives my BF c-r-a-z-y b/c he always wants to watch things with me and I can't watch anything since Lincoln was born!

I wonder if men are affected by fatherhood differently than women are - the things that bother me don't seem to bother him at.all! I know that he loves Lincoln absolutely to pieces, and he's a wonderful dad - but he can still watch horror movies that have children as the bad guy! I don't get it.

Ok, sorry everyone I totally went OT.
post #80 of 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by thyra View Post
This is me. I cannot watch anything thats gory, slightly scary, involves children getting hurt, anything. It's terrible and it drives my BF c-r-a-z-y b/c he always wants to watch things with me and I can't watch anything since Lincoln was born!

I wonder if men are affected by fatherhood differently than women are - the things that bother me don't seem to bother him at.all! I know that he loves Lincoln absolutely to pieces, and he's a wonderful dad - but he can still watch horror movies that have children as the bad guy! I don't get it.

Ok, sorry everyone I totally went OT.
I have an idear. Lets start a new thread to see what the rest of the ladies (and gents) think.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › You know you are a mom when...