Cannot sit down without DS wanting to nurse – advise please

[momasana]

DS is 27 mo and has always been a big-time comfort nurser, which is fine by me. However, lately I am starting to get frustrated with the frequency of his requests. I’ve always nursed on demand, we regularly nurse between 5-8 time a day. But now it seems he wants to hang out with a nipple in his mouth all day long. I absolutely cannot sit down during the day without him asking. If I am up doing something he will play and keep busy and whatnot, but as soon as I sit down he crawls in my lap and pulls on my shirt. Please don’t get me wrong, I love our nursing relationship and am happy to nurse him when he asks (generally). But sometimes I just want to sit down and relax, especially in the evening. Sometimes I just want to sit next to him or cuddle without having him attached to my breast.

I have tried setting up some little boundaries but haven’t been very successful. I have tried to limit his time at the breast (a song for each side, etc.) or after hours of nursing telling him my nipples are taking a break, but it doesn’t work. He is persistent, he will tear at my clothes, he will swat and flail and cry. Sometimes I can distract him to do another activity which is great but it doesn’t help me when I’m worn out from the day and just want to sit down.

I have always been on-board with CLW and wasn’t expecting to feel this creeping resentment about his constant request. It makes me sad that I feel this way. I want things to be different but I don’t know what to do to change it.

Has anyone BTDT? Does anyone have any suggestions?



ETA: I wanted to add that this isn't a sudden-onset thing, it has progressed over the months. We have a pretty mellow lifestyle and there have not been any recent changes that would cause him to up his frequency.

[Claire and Boys]

Subbing, I'm interested to see what responses you get, as we're in the same boat right now.

[ssh]

My DD increased the frequency of her nursing right before turning 3. Every time I sat down she wanted to nurse, so I let her. It lasted a few weeks, then she was back to her normal frequency. We had just moved so I thought that was the reason. I figured the more I met her needs the less needy she'd be. She also nursed alot right before getting her molars in abit before 2.5. We never had her pulling at my clothes or anything, but I never put any limits on it, except for the occasional "just a minute" when I was very busy.

[annettemarie]

I'm going to move this out to BBI since it's a pretty common toddler nursing issue and not specific to CLW.

[Vancouver Mommy]

Oh, I have so btdt. My ds is 30 months and it's astounding how often he wants to nurse. And like you, I love the nursing relationship, but would really prefer not to nurse every single time I sit (including the toilet). Often I ask if he needs a snack or a drink of water. Sometimes he does. Other times I offer a story. Lately I've started to say "two more minutes". He replies by holding up five fingers (interesting negotiation tactic).

[kiwiva]

My daughter has gone through phases of this (she just turned 3). It can be very frustrating. I used distraction. I would offer water or a snack or an activity other than reading a book.

I found also that if I made sure that drinks and snacks were available then we didn't get into the problem of her being hungry and thus being very insistent about the constant nursing.

Also you may try either restricting nursing to certain places or establishing a special space for you that is just for you, not for nursing. So if you sit there he will know it is not time to nurse.