what do you say to other kids?

[karemore]

I am comfortable discussing our HS decision with other adults, but I'm stumped when it comes to young children!

DD has a 6 year old friend from church here right now and she's trying to understand why DD has a classroom at home. I'm rarely speechless but I just did not know what to say.

We're having another child over for the first time later this week and I know he's going to ask questions too.

What do you say to younger public school friends who are trying to understand something different?

Karen (mom to Susie 4 1/2)

[LovemyBoo]

Roughly the same thing I tell adults, that this is what works best for our family.

One difference is that, with kids, I really try to stick with answering only what they've asked, and also sticking only with the mechanics of homeschooling (yes, ds does math, science, etc) and no mentions of the more emotional reasons we homeschool (Ds is so much happier since he left school). In other words, I'm careful to not give them too much ammunition to go to their parents saying *they* want to homeschool. I try not to portray homeshooling as "better", even though I think it is. I try to keep it as something different that works well for our family.

[elizawill]

with kids i try to be very neutral and focus on the things that are similar to how they learn and can best relate too (we both do field trips, science experiments, studying about the world, etc). IME, many kids we come across love the idea of homeschooling & would like to do it too. therefore, i try to be careful in how i answer questions, as to give honest answers but in a very neutral manner so the parents feel respected. i don't want homeschooling to come across as the "better" choice or more "fun". ykwim? it's just how our family learns & it works best for us.

[SagMom]

Originally Posted by karemore

What do you say to younger public school friends who are trying to understand something different?

I just answer their questions honestly, as they come up.

I've said things like, "Some kids go to school and some learn without school."

I've had kids tell me I should let my kids go to school and I've informed them that my kids have the choice.

I've had kids tell my kids that they're missing out on fieldtrips and my kids let them know that we do go on field trips.

Honestly, I find talking to kids about it a lot easier than talking with adults, the kids seem much more open to the ideas and more understanding of what we do.

Many HAVE said that they wished they could be homeschooled, and some have gone to their parents about it. It's not something I worry about, although I do feel bad for them -- if they weren't already unhappy with their present situation, they wouldn't wish to be homeschooled. That we hs doesn't CREATE the problem, yk?

[elizawill]

Originally Posted by SagMom

if they weren't already unhappy with their present situation, they wouldn't wish to be homeschooled. That we hs doesn't CREATE the problem, yk?

totally true. for me, it's just a way of showing support to my sisters or friends. i know they are choosing the path they feel is best, so i try to answer their kids with really neutral comments.

however, i have had the question a few times about "real school". when will my kids go to "REAL school?" when will they REALLY learn? when will they get a REAL teacher? the tone in those questions weren't just curiosity, but rather they were asked with rudeness and judgment...and that solicits a different response from me, lol.

[eilonwy]

Bean and Boobah usually answer for themselves-- "I'm a cyberschooler. I do my schoolwork at home and on the computer." Around here homeschooling is fairly common, though; Most kids know *someone* who's homeschooled. Kids do say "I wish I could do that, too" and I try to keep responses gentle and supportive. I don't want to rub it in that we're out having a blast while they're cooped up in school and then doing homework.

[cappuccinosmom]

Well, ds usually answers for himself.

But if a kid looks at me for clarification, I just say "Homeschooling means that I get to be his teacher!" Some kids think that's cool, others express happiness that their mama is *not* their teacher.

[accidental_hs'er]

We run into this all the time

Usually my dks respond with. "We don't go to school. We learn at home. Our mom is our teacher." I've had to step in a few times with some kids who either don't believe them or have a billion more questions.

Usually we hear things like, Do you have homework? Do you have weekends off too? Do you go on field trips? How do you get grades? Etc.

I answer honestly but leave out anything pertaining to my feelings on homework, the school system or other hot button issues. Kids have no control over their parents sending them to school. Some are just dumbfounded by the thought of it. Others are a little envious. A few wouldn't give up school for the world. We've never been outcast because of it. I just tell my kids, and others, that some kids go to public school, some go to catholic, or montessori or french...and some learn at home, like us.

Michelle

[phathui5]

I usually just let the kids answer, not that they give the PC "This is what works for us" kind of answers. They tell people why they'd rather homeschool.

[gaudynight]

I often let the girls answer that question. Their responses range from "because we like it" to "because I can wear pajamas to school."

When the kids ask me directly, I usually just say that different families do things differently and for now (and for the foreseeable future) this is what we've chosen, just like in their family they might do X or Y... A few kids have asked their parents why they can't homeschool too and I guess I feel like that's not my problem. My girls ask why they can't have McDonald's for breakfast/why they can't have a wii/why they can't have a pony; other families shouldn't have to change their choices just so my kids don't ask questions (but I'd like the pony too...).

I do try to avoid saying anything negative about public school. There's asking questions and there's feeling like your parents don't care/chose something bad for you.

[heatherdeg]

Originally Posted by cappuccinosmom

Well, ds usually answers for himself.

But if a kid looks at me for clarification, I just say "Homeschooling means that I get to be his teacher!" Some kids think that's cool, others express happiness that their mama is *not* their teacher.

Originally Posted by accidental_hs'er

Usually my dks respond with. "We don't go to school. We learn at home. Our mom is our teacher." I've had to step in a few times with some kids who either don't believe them or have a billion more questions.

And that... although I have to be honest--we have yet to be asked any questions about what we do. I almost worry about it lest ds WANTS to go to school. He's such a worksheet kid.

But most of the kids we're around most often are also hsers... which makes it pretty easy. I'm sure it won't be long before his 7yo cousins start up with questions, though.