New mama w/uncirc'd boy - questions

[mcgee]

Our precious DS was born at home on Thursday, and we are overjoyed!

We opted not to circ, but as this is our first boy, we're kind of clueless about how to properly care for his penis. Do we retract? How often? Not retract? Obviously he hasn't been bathed yet because he still has a cord stump. How do we clean the area? When we change his diapers, we've been just gently wiping down the area and making sure that baby poop doesn't get all over his penis. Is that right? Wrong?

What exactly should we be doing?

And yes, for the record, I'm massively embarrassed by my lack of knowledge, so go easy on me.

[BaMo]

Congrats on having an intact baby boy!

Do not retract, nor have anyone else (including doctors/np/nurses) at well baby visits/appointments try to retract.

Just wash it as you would anything else on his body - no extra care needed.

And totally right about how you are wiping it down in regards to poop.

[Fyrestorm]

Congrats on a healthy whole baby boy!

Just wash what you see...like a finger! Do not let anyone near it (most dr.'s in the US are clueless and have no idea that "just taking a peek" is retraction. As long as your son can pee, the dr has no reason to out a finger on your son's penis!

Also, start thinking of you son as intact rather than uncircumcised. He is not unlobotomized or unblind, or undeaf...he is healthy and normal and intact.

Uncircumcised sounds like you forgot to do something that needed to be done and that cutting babies genitals is the right thing to do and you didn't do it.

[Yulia_R]

Originally Posted by BaMo

Congrats on having an intact baby boy!

Do not retract, nor have anyone else (including doctors/np/nurses) at well baby visits/appointments try to retract.

Just wash it as you would anything else on his body - no extra care needed.

And totally right about how you are wiping it down in regards to poop.

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by mcgee

Our precious DS was born at home on Thursday, and we are overjoyed!

We opted not to circ, but as this is our first boy, we're kind of clueless about how to properly care for his penis. Do we retract? How often? Not retract? Obviously he hasn't been bathed yet because he still has a cord stump. How do we clean the area? When we change his diapers, we've been just gently wiping down the area and making sure that baby poop doesn't get all over his penis. Is that right? Wrong?

What exactly should we be doing?

And yes, for the record, I'm massively embarrassed by my lack of knowledge, so go easy on me.

Congratulations, what a lucky boy. Don't be embarrassed, we'd rather you ask questions and know for sure. For the record, you're doing things exactly right. No retraction and just clean what you see. Great Job!

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Doing great with care. You will never need to retract nor should you. The only person to do it is your ds. The resources sticky has a few things you might consider checking out A Warning To Parents Of Intact Sons, The Definition of Retraction & Why it is BAD. Also check out the Separation Issues thread so that nothing sneaks up on you.

[Conifer]

Sitting at home with my 13 day old intact son. I asked these questions at the hospital and the nurses basically said they didn't know!

Thanks

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by Conifer

Sitting at home with my 13 day old intact son. I asked these questions at the hospital and the nurses basically said they didn't know!

Thanks

Congratulations to you Conifer and from Michigan too. If you're up to it perhaps you can provide the appropriate literature to your OB and the hospital. If so let us know we'll point you to the docs.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Maybe consider putting together a packet of information to send to the the hospital with information on proper intact care. You should be able to find all the information you need here on the site and dont hesitate to ask for help doing it here.

[Conifer]

Actually it's funny because the sent me home with atleast 50 pamphlets on just about everything from cord care to not shaking your baby (duh), and not smoking. I asked "where's the pamphlet on uncircumcised penis care?" and they said they didn't have that.

Yeah, they gave me a survey-type card and I am going to suggest that they provide clue-less parents (like me) with information!

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by Conifer

Actually it's funny because the sent me home with atleast 50 pamphlets on just about everything from cord care to not shaking your baby (duh), and not smoking. I asked "where's the pamphlet on uncircumcised penis care?" and they said they didn't have that.

Yeah, they gave me a survey-type card and I am going to suggest that they provide clue-less parents (like me) with information!

Or you could send them this link: http://www.nocirc.org/publish/
and this one: http://intactamerica.org/sites/defau...%20Parents.pdf

[SlackerDad]

Originally Posted by Conifer

Actually it's funny because the sent me home with atleast 50 pamphlets on just about everything from cord care to not shaking your baby (duh), and not smoking.

I'm so glad to see someone else say "duh" about that not shaking the baby thing! I was so insulted by that. What's next, "Don't use your baby as a doorstop" or "Babies should never be used as oven mitts"?!? Give me a break!

More seriously, though, back to the OP: you're doing great. Not only should you not be afraid to ask questions here, I hope any other parents who might be lurking are also not hesitant to ask. We are here to help! The only way I could imagine someone getting flamed on this board is if they tried to argue a pro-circumcision viewpoint (which is against the board rules anyway). And that does NOT mean someone who circed a son previously out of ignorance or social pressure, and who now regrets it, is going to get flamed. (If you were pregnant with a boy, and came here saying "I don't care what you say, I'm going to circ" or something like that, they'd have a problem of course.)

[calngavinsmom]

congrats on your baby boy! Intact care is easy peasey. Here is a great pamphlet for you to check out:
http://www.nocirc.org/publish/4pam.pdf

Take care!

[BunniMummi]

Yep, pretty much do nothing special. Keep the foreskin cleaned off and if it seems to be irritated try some extra warm bath soaks. A little redness once in a while is nothing to panic about. For all practical purposes pretend that there isn't really even anything seperate under the foreskin. The penis is still more or less an internal organ at this point.

Don't be too afraid of it, they aren't made of glass. Just don't try to retract (which btw is something you would have to go out of your way to do and is unlikely to happen through just normal wiping/cleaning).

[BlessedMommy2006]

Yep, scott on. Don't do anything but clean normally and don't go digging around anywhere. The big secret is DO NOTHING! LOL. Sometimes people make intact care sound like a big mystery. It is actually much easier than circumcision care. My friend with circumcised boys commented on having to deal with adhesions and redness near the foreskin remnant. I've never done much of anything with my intact DS other than putting him in a bath and wiping him during diaper changes.

My midwife's instructions for intact penis care were, "Just leave it alone."

[mcgee]

Thanks Mamas!

When DD was born 3 years ago, my mom bought me a book on your baby's first year, week by week. I picked it up yesterday and flipped through it, and it said that if your son is not circumcised, to retract the foreskin and clean it every time you change your baby. That was contrary to what I thought I was supposed to be doing, so I posted because I figure y'all would know what to do.

Off to toss that book into a resale pile. Or the recycling bin.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

If you do sale it or give it away make sure to mark through that passage and put the proper information there

[SlackerDad]

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X

If you do sale it or give it away make sure to mark through that passage and put the proper information there

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X

If you do sale it or give it away make sure to mark through that passage and put the proper information there

...and cite some medical authority, because a lot of people would see the handwritten correction, and assume some ignorant know-it-all was trying to overrule the almighty expert who wrote the book. After all, they can't be ignorant, or they wouldn't have a book!

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]