Sleep deprivation: worried about immune system?

[SBear12]

My daughter Lyla is 13 months old. We cosleep, and she nurses every 30-90 mins, all night long. Every once in a while I'll get a 2 hr stretch, and it feels like a day at the spa. But equally often, she'll be up thrashing and crying for a 2 hr stretch (usually 3 - 5 am), nursing every 5 mins.

I am so, so, so tired. I'm madly in love with my daughter all day long, but I dread bedtime, because I'd rather stay up all night than feel that overwhelming resentment toward her after being woken for the 15th time. I know from lurking on this thread that many of you understand.

I thought I could just wait it out. But as we're entering cold/flu season, and her sleep continues to worsen, I'm terrified of getting sick and not being able to rest enough to recover, or care for her properly. DH is an amazing father, but at night, she only wants me. And she gets very hysterical, very quickly, even with DH lovingly rocking/walking/soothing her.

I eat healthily, take vitamins, probiotics, exercise, etc... but none of that makes up for averaging 4 broken hours of sleep a night. For 13 straight months, and counting. And surely this isn't healthy for DD, either? Not sure what the solution is... or if there is one. I guess I'm just wondering if I'm alone in worrying about this. My anxiety increases with sleep deprivation, so I do have some irrational fears. But this year, unfortunately this one seems realistic.

[Rubber Ducky]

Hi SBear12!

My DS is nearly 13 months and I informally tried to nightwean around 10 or 11 months. That was because he was waking up soooo much that I just could not function during the day anymore. I was constantly angry and like you, resenting night time. We decided that something had to be done before my health goes down the drain. Since then I have been sick 3 times.

My advice would be (and you don't have to follow it) to consider changing things if you're near breaking point and if you're resenting it. It would be much easier to nightwean when YOU are healthy and YOU are happy. I weaned out of desperation and it was very hard to stick to my plan simply because I was so tired and nursing DS back to sleep was just easier than teaching him to fall asleep without. I wished I had recognized the signs of burnout earlier and acted on it sooner rather than waiting until I was screaming and crying nearly every night.

DS is not fully nightweaned yet. But he just very recently started sleeping 5-7 hour stretches. It started with 2 hours. Then 3, then 4 etc... I'm still waking up every 3-4 hours myself however and still sleep deprived because I can lie awake for hours unable to fall back asleep.

As with your DD not wanting DH to put her to sleep, I started getting DH to walk DS to sleep for nap times on the weekend. They would play and have a good laugh so that DS is tired and happy by the end of it. Falling asleep on his shoulders became easy that way. Then we moved on to daddy being comforter at bedtime. Now, it's reasonably easy for DH to put him back to sleep in the middle of the night, with exceptions of course.

And for a practical health tip? Every time I feel a tingle in my throat or that I'm may be getting sick, I dice up a teaspoon of garlic and eat it raw with a cup of milk (I find milk helps ease the acid ) Sure proof way to fight off a cold.

I hope this helps and I do sympathize with you!

[Caterina]

My DD is 13 months too, and has been waking up every 45 min - 1 hour for the last month or so (before that we got at least one 2-3 hour stretch but never more than since about 4 months old) The last 2 nights I've worn a nightie with less easy-access and she's actually only nursed a couple of times and been able to go back to sleep without nursing. I feel like there may be a little window to try some gentle nightweaning, which I didn't want to do with her so young, but I'm totally at my end with this and starting to feel really resentful.
Anyway, what I wanted to say was that we just had an appt. with our naturopath about immune health, and he said there is definitely a correlation between broken sleep and being able to fight colds/viruses etc. He put both me and DH on adrenal-support herbs that we take in the morning when we wake up to help balance our adrenal/cortisol levels. We've been on them for 2 weeks now, and both notice a difference. We're also taking cod liver oil and vitamin D daily, as is DD. We've all been healthy so far!

[Louisep]

I worry about this constantly lately. We all got a cold and mine turned into pneumonia because of sleep deprivation. Now I'm terrified of the flu if my body can no longer fight a common cold. We are working on DH putting DS down at night and then hopefully he can help in the night soon too. DS doesn't always nurse back to sleep but can be a real wriggler who needs holding to stay asleep and I can't sleep while doing that. He also wakes every 1-2 hours. Sigh.

[Picard]

I do think about this at times. I have tried to change my thinking of being sleep deprived. It works somewhat. I try to tell myself that I am resting, whether I am awake or not, and that it's all good. My DS is 19 months and so I have been dealing with it a little longer. I find myself going to bed earlier and earlier to keep up. In any case, I have not been sick. I do get plugged ducts if I am too tired. When that happens, I really take it easy. If I find something coming on or if someone close to me is sick, I eat raw garlic, turmeric, and herring (for Zinc). Seems to work.

[VeganCupcake]

I kind of worry about it, too, but I am constantly amazed at what my body and mind can do, working on so little sleep for the last 14+ months.

I try to eat well, but my biggest health "secret" is exercise. I think it makes a huge difference and it does boost the immune system. I haven't gotten sick since baby was born--though DH has.

[pinky]

I've been chronically sleep-deprived since my dd was born 5 years ago. It's much better now than when she was smaller, but I'm still very underslept. But here's the thing. This is not something I can fix, at least the broken sleep at night part. I've done what I can do on the sleep front. Instead, I work on taking good care of myself in other ways.

I will say that on the whole my kids and I are very healthy, so in spite of my lack of good sleep I seem to have a pretty robust immune system.

[blizzard_babe]

Originally Posted by Rubber Ducky

*snip

That was because he was waking up soooo much that I just could not function during the day anymore. I was constantly angry and like you, resenting night time.

*snip*

I wished I had recognized the signs of burnout earlier and acted on it sooner rather than waiting until I was screaming and crying nearly every night.

This. Looking back, I was in SUCH a bad place when it came to sleep. We didn't wean completely, but I nightweaned DS at around 15 months out of desperation. I just couldn't do it anymore. I was becoming angry and resentful at DS for not sleeping... angry and resentful at DH for sleeping... angry at myself for not being able to "take it." I read here about women putting up with such sleeping situations for years and years, and felt like an AP failure because I was very clearly cracking up under the pressure.

So... we nightweaned. Slowly, but deliberately. We started out in early fall/late summer, when there was still a lot of daylight up here. We said, "No mum-mums until it's light outside," which really meant from about midnight until four AM. As dark hours increased, so did the hours he went without. It was bumpy, but it was a trade-off we had to make. In trying to be an AP nighttime mama, I was making it virtually impossible to be a good daytime mama, wife, and teacher.

I remember walking into the school at 7:45 wondering how the heck I was going to deal with a classroom full of needy students when my emotional cup was completely empty. I was chronically borderline-sick from the lack of sleep and exposure to 80 K-3rd graders every day. I joked that my breastmilk could probably be sold at a high price because any bug that came through our area, I got to some degree. DS was the healthiest baby in town.

I can laugh about it in retrospect... but yeah.

My "miracle concoction" for when I feel the sniffles coming on (stolen recipe from a friend, actually: Boil ginger root, cayenne pepper, and two cloves of garlic in a pot of water. Strain and drink as tea. It's both an immune-system booster and... well... the spicy helps clear things up, at least temporarily.