Trying to decide...need your help

[floiejo2]

Hi, we are currently on the fence about sending our child to public school in a very small rural town or homeschooling. Our first will be in kindergarten next year. She is currently in a preschool program here. We like and dislike it. We have reasons for both. One of my biggest concerns is wondering if I have the ability to teach my children. I don't feel like I remember/know everything and also don't know how to teach. I've had many homeschooling parents tell me with the right materials it doesn't matter, but I still question. So what are your reasons for homeschooling, what materials/curriculum or lack of materials/curriculum do you use? TIA!

[AAK]

You REALLY don't have to know or remember everything. I think patience & flexibility is more important than actual knowledge of all subjects. For the ones you need a little help with, get the teacher's guide. As the kids get older, there may be a subject that you really don't feel comfortable with at all. For that, there are online courses for homeschooler, video courses, co-ops, or even part-time enrollment.

We pulled our oldest out of school because it wasn't challenging enough. It hadn't been for a while, but she didn't want to leave "school" until 3rd grade. She still goes to the gifted program once a week which, for us, is a huge blessing. Our schools here are pretty good, but they still have flaws (for that matter, so does my approach at home--I am constantly trying to improve).

What I like is that my dd goes at her own pace. She is able to dive into things and to totally ignore others occasionally. She takes subjects that would not be available to her until high school (spanish, and what we call "life skills"). Her friendships are real--not based on school social structure, etc. And I love that school is done when it is done--no pointless homework at night etc. Also, I love that we enjoy lunch at home when hungry and that we have plenty of time to eat.

What is hard for me.. . mostly keeping the house clean. Not getting frustrated on days we don't feel like doing anything at all. Remembering that we really do cover it all and more in just 3 hours.

Amy

[moominmamma]

If the teaching/learning equation were really about the teacher knowing it all and passing her knowledge on effectively to the student then clearly the public school system failed you (since you don't remember everything!) -- and why the heck would you entrust your child to the very system that failed you?

But really, I think that's a rather misguided educational paradigm. Children are not empty vessels into which 'experts' pour their knowledge according to some pre-ordained system or method. Children are people, and incredibly capable learners at that! Given a reasonably nurturing environment and a bit of freedom they create, they invent, they question, they respond, they engage, they explore, they infer, they grow, they learn. They don't need you to know everything and dispense it to them according to a time-tested system. They will show you or tell you what they need. Because you as their parent are in love with them, you will listen to their needs. And because you are a human being too, you will do your own exploring, creating, learning and growing in order to give them what they are asking for.

Miranda
(who can now ice-skate [backwards!], understand a fair bit of Japanese, crochet, conjugate Latin verbs and dye wool thanks to the impetus her children have provided her with)

[floiejo2]

Thank you for the replies! Moominmamma, I love what you said and it really struck a chord with me.

Do any of you homeschool your child with whom you kind of butt heads with? Dd1 is very smart, stubborn, and so much like me that we definitely butt heads sometimes and I wonder how well it would all work.

[CariOfOz]

We started out hs'ing due to ds1's ill health in kindergarten.. he was constantly sick and I finally said ENOUGH, and pulled him out half way through. That was just over 2.5yrs ago Now we stick with it because it's working for us, the kids are happy, learning and not exposed to some of the nastiness and crap in schools. We don't use a boxed curriculum, but we do use things that lay out exactly how to go about it. (Math u see, history odyssey and First Language Lessons plus Headsprout for the 5yo) So I always have guidance on what to do when etc.

Originally Posted by floiejo2

Do any of you homeschool your child with whom you kind of butt heads with? Dd1 is very smart, stubborn, and so much like me that we definitely butt heads sometimes and I wonder how well it would all work.

Oh gods YES Both of my boys at times fit this, but mainly my 5yo. He has a VERY stubborn streak and if he doesn't want to do something, he drops his head into the mega sulk position and refuses to even LOOK at me Hs'ing works pretty well for him because we can always come back to it later when he IS ready to do it

[Whistler]

Originally Posted by floiejo2

Do any of you homeschool your child with whom you kind of butt heads with? Dd1 is very smart, stubborn, and so much like me that we definitely butt heads sometimes and I wonder how well it would all work.

My DD is smart, stubborn, just like me and the same age as your DD. We butt heads like crazy! At the same time I have a lot of insights into what makes her tick!

I am totally excited to homeschool her. Right now I'm using an unschooly method because she is enthusiastic about things that are her idea. So I "sprinkle" things in her path (like Reading Eggs, for example) and suddenly it is HER idea to learn to read! Perfect. No butting heads, just an enthusiastic little girl devouring the printed word.

ETA: Jury's still out on how well this will work for us long-term given our usual level of personality conflicts. There are some days when I would loooooove to ship her off to school!

[kathymuggle]

Originally Posted by floiejo2

Hi, we are currently on the fence about sending our child to public school in a very small rural town or homeschooling.

Well, one of the cons to living in a rural are can be schooling - whether it is HS or PS.

I think rural HSer can struggle with feelings of isolation, and diversity of groups of HSers. YMMV

I think rural PSer often have a lack of educational choice - or no educational choice. There aren't 5 schools in a reasonable distance to choose from. YMMV.


One of my biggest concerns is wondering if I have the ability to teach my children. I don't feel like I remember/know everything and also don't know how to teach.


Of course you have the ability to teach your children. Almost everyone has the ability to teach the concepts presented in the early years - and yes, finding good resources is fun and can help. As your kids age, and you can outsource a topic if it does not appeal to you or they need specialised help or they can teach it to themselves

Kathy (more later - gotta run!)

[kathymuggle]

Originally Posted by floiejo2

So what are your reasons for homeschooling, what materials/curriculum or lack of materials/curriculum do you use? TIA!

The biggest reason we HS is because our beliefs around living and learning are diametrically opposed to how schools operate. It really cuts across the board.

It isn't that I am anti school - if your beliefs match what the school is offering it may be a great fit for your family! This isn't the case with us.

In any event, here is a short list, for fun:

-It is a gorgeous Novemeber day and my kids are outside playing
-my oldest, who loves to sleep, is sleeping...he was not up at 6:30 like his sleep deprived friends are
-we built most of a hovercraft this morning. My 10 yr old enjoyed playing with the saw. Yes, you can do this if your kids go to school - but it is harder to find the time.
-more time for everything. I hinted at it above but it deserves repeating.
-eat when you want, go to the bathroom when you want, exercise when you want.....
-off peak vacations!
-numerous field trips.
-picking a choosing from numerous amazing resources to help your child learn
-This is a biggie: I want my children to question norms and authority. I want them to question why they are doing things. I want them to understand there is choice in this world. This would not be easy to do in a school environment
-For younger children: I really do not beleive that they should be seperated from parents for the length of the school day plus busing. I know some people have to work and that is that - but I think it is best to avoid it if you can. I think children should start exploring the world away from parents at their own when they are ready - not placed in a school from 9-3:30 every day from the age of 5 or 6 onward.
-I like the ratio of adults to kids in the HSing world, particulalry for the preteen and younger set.

Kathy

[EcoMommyhope]

I know exactly what you are going through. It is very hard to believe at first that you actually posess the talent, knowledge and motivation to educate your children yourself. What I found was that everything that seemed so intimidating, really was not. I have learned to go with the flow..and i am learning a lot along side my children. It is not about the right style, curriculum,grades..It is about finding the best combination for your family. We use Charlotte Mason curriculum, but we are unschoolers on most days! The kids are learning so much, and I have found that it comes naturally when you are enjoying yourself, enjoying time with them, becoming closer and learning together. There are many different types of homeschooling, all are better than the alternative, in my opinion! If you are willing to try, you must have a good reason. Go with your gut on this. You will not regret it!

[UptownZoo]

Originally Posted by floiejo2

Do any of you homeschool your child with whom you kind of butt heads with? Dd1 is very smart, stubborn, and so much like me that we definitely butt heads sometimes and I wonder how well it would all work.

Oh my gosh, YES! I only homeschool my youngest, who is 7, and we're crosswise to each other often. We pulled him out because he has special needs, especially emotional, and so that adds a different dimension. Yes, of course it would all be easier if he was like one of my older kids: flexible, adaptable, compliant. But he's not, and we do pretty well. We're new to HS and we're still finding our way, but I'm learning all the time how to help him learn without fighting. In fact, if we start to butt heads, I call a halt and try to think of a different way to make my approach. Takes plenty of commitment and creativity, but overall our relationship is improving, instead of crumbling as I was afraid it might when we pulled him out of school.

[CariOfOz]

Originally Posted by kathymuggle

-This is a biggie: I want my children to question norms and authority. I want them to question why they are doing things. I want them to understand there is choice in this world. This would not be easy to do in a school environment

Kathy

That is a huge one for me too. You do NOT have to continue to do things one way because that is how they have 'always' been done! You CAN choose something different/new!