Trying to decide...need your help

[floiejo2]

Hi, we are currently on the fence about sending our child to public school in a very small rural town or homeschooling. Our first will be in kindergarten next year. She is currently in a preschool program here. We like and dislike it. We have reasons for both. One of my biggest concerns is wondering if I have the ability to teach my children. I don't feel like I remember/know everything and also don't know how to teach. I've had many homeschooling parents tell me with the right materials it doesn't matter, but I still question. So what are your reasons for sending your child/children to school? Are you happy with the school, do you have any concerns, are your children happy?

[Linda on the move]

We homeschooled for many years and my kids are now in public school. Either one can be wonderful, and either one can be horrid.

The reasons my kids now attend school is because there isn't anything else do here. We've moved a lot and we currently live some where very dull. The only other homeschoolers are conservative fundy Christians who will not allow us to join their group. We've done every museum, nature, etc. within 100 miles of here. My kids were lonely and isolated inspite of joining teams and trying to be involved in things.

The schools here are wonderful. The classes are small, the teachers really care, and there's a lot of parent input. My kids are happy -- one is happier than the other, but both are happier than they were homeschooling here.

I'm also happier because I deeply needed a break. A real break. I was tired and burned out.

I think that which is best for a particular child at a particular time is a complex question. Good luck sorting it all out!

[Tigerchild]

I don't consider myself locked in to forever formalized schooling just because my kids (2nd grader and twin 1st graders) attend a public school choice program right now. So I would try to get out of the all or nothing mindset unless your state is anti-homeschooling.

Part of the reason why my kids are in formal school is a compromise between DH and I (he was unsure of early homeschooling, though he sees great value in offering it as an option for 6th grade and up). I also really enjoy this program, my kids get a lot out of the enrichment aspect of it that frankly we could not afford on their own. I also greatly enjoy the diversity at our school, which would be difficult to replicate in our neighborhood. My kids all have "buddies" with special needs, have had some language exposure to many different languages due to the parents in our program who teach them, ect. COULD I arrange for all those things on my own, probably. But it is nice to have the workload spread amongst almost 50 other families and the parents who have different/better talents and interests than me.

And now to be quite blunt, I am recharging after 6 very intense years of parenting. (I had my firstborn and my twins within 17 months of each other) Probably if I'd attempted to homeschool them at this point I would be very seriously burnt out, which would kind of suck for everyone.

We evaluate things year by year. We will definitely sit down with the kids and have an ongoing pro and con discussion with them in their 6th grade year, though we will give them our input about what environments we forsee will work best for them. If there were to be problems before then, we will revisit it then.

If I did not have access to this choice program in my school district, we'd probably be homeschooling after this year.

When the kids were babies I thought that maybe it would be nice to have someone else teach them to read and do basic math, but they'd all taught themselves that in early preschool so that ended up being a needless thought.

[eepster]

DH and I have toyed with the idea of home schooling, but just don't think it's the way to go right now.

To begin with DS runs circles around me. He needs input constantly. I just can't provide enough to keep him happy.

Since teachers teach for a living year after year they become good at it. I don't, I'm not a teacher, if I was I'd have gotten a job as one.

Schools have all kinds of resources I don't. Science labs, media centers, guest speakers, etc.

I'm not great about the social stuff. DS can have friends to play with and not count on mommy finding them for him.

I like that DS is learning to work with adults other than just me, DH and grandpa.

We are keeping our options open. If for some reason in the future school isn't working for DS, we can switch to home schooling. For now though, we went to a lot of trouble to move to a place with a great school system so we could send our kids to it, and so far it's still our plan.

[GuildJenn]

I'm not anti-homeschooling, and might consider it in the future. I put that out there 'cause the rest may sound negative about it, but this is just where I am right now.

My son's 4. It was a tough decision to go back to work which is a little different than just the school/homeschool decision. But I am so, so, so glad we put him in a (kind, warm, gentle) Montessori.

I love that he learns from different people with different styles and strengths. I love that he learns things it wouldn't have occurred to me to introduce. I love that he comes home and shares it with me. The other kids and parents at his school, while not all kindred spirits, are generally a very neat bunch.

I learned about myself a long time ago that I am not the most patient teacher, and although it's totally different with your own kid, I'm still not the most patient teacher. I would not enjoy sitting there while he counts the beads over and over. I kind of like that I am the mom, who teaches sometimes, and that there is also a teacher who does the heavy lifting. I love that the curriculum and materials are handled and set up by someone else, so that I can just be with my son and even though we often have teachable moments I don't have to try to string them together too coherently.

Mostly, I love that we have come to trust that the world is -- while not perfect and needing monitoring and advocacy at times -- ready also to welcome and nurture my son. We've also seen him learn how to handle himself with people who are not us and it's neat. I feel like in the past our leanings towards homeschooling were based in fear (this might not be the case in the future) and overcoming that fear has given our family so many delicious options. We now know what a good preschool looks like and I think that will help us as we go forward.

Sometimes it makes me sad that often the answer to any conflict or concern is "homeschool." For us, working those things out and yes, sometimes compromising, seems like a more middle path.

Those are my thoughts about it.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by GuildJenn

Mostly, I love that we have come to trust that the world is -- while not perfect and needing monitoring and advocacy at times -- ready also to welcome and nurture my son. We've also seen him learn how to handle himself with people who are not us and it's neat.

I love the way you worded this.

[ollyoxenfree]

These days, my reason for sending my children to school is because they ask to go. We've done some homeschooling, but they want to attend formal school.

They are both in dynamic, engaging school programs that meet most of their educational needs. They like learning with a variety of people. They like the resources and opportunities available to them at formal school. These are things that they wouldn't have available to them at home, or we would have to pay a fair amount to participate in similar activities if they didn't attend school.

Concerns? From time to time there have been concerns about whether the academics offered have been appropriately engaging and challenging. There have been personality mismatches with a few teachers. There have been scheduling difficulties at times. We've addressed each issue as it arises - none have been insurmountable. When we were homeschooling, we also had concerns. Some were similar, e.g. searching for appropriately engaging and challenging academic material, and some were different, e.g. a tendency to lapse into boring ruts and a feeling of lack of diversity. None of these problems were insurmountable either.

Are my children happy? Yes.

[Cavy]

Originally Posted by floiejo2

...One of my biggest concerns is wondering if I have the ability to teach my children. I don't feel like I remember/know everything and also don't know how to teach. ...So what are your reasons for sending your child/children to school? Are you happy with the school, do you have any concerns, are your children happy?

1) I send DC to school because I would not get enough space from them otherwise. No family support here and DH mostly finds DC difficult to cope with, so school-hours is the only break I get (and nearly all of school hours I am still minding DC4). DC2 loves school, learning and her friends; DC1 and DC3 mostly dislike it, they hate having to do what teacher says or putting up with bad behaviour and the other crud aspects of being institutionalised, but they manage to progress, anyway.

2) You don't need to know 'how to teach' to Home-Ed. It takes an amazingly small amount of time, and is not too much effort if you don't have too many other commitments. If you can write as articulate a post as in your OP I am sure you are smart enough to HE well. I would HE if I had support from DH, and other opportunities for breaks from the DC. Also, if DC didn't fight so much I'd be keener to have them at home. I wouldn't do HE, though, if I would struggle to create a social life for DC otherwise; I feel it's important for DC to have as they grow up regular contact with mainstream culture.