Preparing children for an UC

[WindyCityMom]

Hi everyone I'm wondering how everyone prepared their children for their UCs.

Nayeli will be about 24mos when the baby is born ("due date" is 12/24, dd's bday is 12/27). She will be present for the birth, unless she gets freaked out, where we'll try and console her or send her upstairs with MIL (lives upstairs).

I'm wondering how I can prepare her for it. I know it's difficult because she's young, not even 2 yet, but I'd like to somehow prepare her for it.

Any tips are very helpful Thank you!

[Marlet]

Is it bad we didn't even bother with DD1? She was 27 months when DD2 was born. It wasn't a big deal to us. She did get antsy but only because at that point any time I was in the tub she was as well and that was the one time she wasn't. It confused her a bit. We had my SIL over to play with her and once she showed up I just disappeared to the bathroom. Not planned, it just happened that way. This time around my kids will be 4.5 and 28 months. DD1 knows it'll be born at home and she's watched birth videos with me before (not as prep....I just like them ) and knows the basics.

I haven't gone into detail though. I don't see the point. Either they are fine and will ask questions or they won't be fine and we'll deal with it then. For my kids that works. I know a lot of others who aren't as accepting of things like that. My SIL is due 2 weeks ahead of me and had planned on having her almost 2 year old there but recently realized it wouldn't work out and has prepared for that. I think it's best to do that anyway jic.

[WindyCityMom]

Thanks There are people in the house no matter what, MIL lives upstairs, GMIL lives upstairs from her, and DHs cousins live upstairs from GMIL. There is always someone there to look after DD if we can't.

[Sheryl1678]

I prepped my daughter for a lot of the physical aspects like blood, fluids, umbilical cord etc. but I totally failed to mention making noise during labor. My daughter ended up being totally freaked out by my vocalizations. I was clearly in pain and there is no way I could contain it. She ended up standing over my back and yelling whenever I did. It was pretty weird and not in a good way (for either of us). She ended up leaving the house and missing her sister's birth.

[KristaDJ]

UC videos on youtube.

[WindyCityMom]

Krista- consider that done DD watches them with me all the time.

[Serenyd]

She might sleep through the whole thing, like my kids did this last time. Kai was 4 when Caden was born and he played gameboy while I was in labor. He thought the all the blood was cool. He talked about it for a long time after.
***To random person in the grocery store line: My momma had a baby in the bathroom and there was blood everywhere!***

[WindyCityMom]

Serenyd- too funny! Just curious (sorry if I'm hijaking my own thread), what was that person's reaction?

Hopefully she will sleep through the whole thing. I'm hoping for DH to wake her up at the end, just so she could kinda be there when the baby does come. It's much easier (I think) to show DD that the baby came from somewhere, rather than it just "appeared", you know?

[Happiestever]

I am hoping my kids (and my DH) sleep through it. My son was 17 months when my dd was born and he was jumping all over me. I didn't want to deal with it, so had my mom take him out.

I understand you want your LO to know where the baby came from, but would you really wake them up? Are you crazy? LOL! I hate when my kidsare sleeping as someone wakes them up, drives me bonkers (do they realize how long it took me to get them into bed and asleep?)

I am hoping that if they are awake that they will be perfect angels and watch the whole process with rapt fascination, but they will probably be running around like the wild animals they are and demanding food. In which case I will call on hubbie to step and take over childcare.

Oh and we have watched videos cause I like to. And we blew up the pool to check for leaks, and told my kids that is where baby might be born, proceeded by him squeezing my belly to make the baby come out because he wanted to use the pool too!. So when we went to a friend's house with a pool, he asked me "Are you going to have the baby in this pool?"

Kids can be so funny.

[Serenyd]

Originally Posted by WindyCityMom

Serenyd- too funny! Just curious (sorry if I'm hijaking my own thread), what was that person's reaction?

Shocked speechless. But that's only when I was there. I'm sure he told lots of other people when I wasn't around.

[Nicci P]

I had a painless Hypnobirth UC. During labour I was switching between the birth ball, the birth pool and the sofa (which was covered in towels in case of mess). DS who was 26 months at the time was happily drawing me pictures, covering me in kisses and watching a movie (I birthed to the sound of "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang! :P ). My sister was there to take care of feeding him and things like that as I'm a single parent.
But yeah he wasnt upset by it at all, although I guess he might have been if I had been in pain. The actual birth bit took less than 5 mins and happened in the pool.
I told him the basics of birth throughout my pregnancy. He spent weeks telling everybody who said anything about the baby... "Baby Cody will come out of mummys twinkle". Told him about the cord and things like that and after the birth I showed it to him. He watched me cut the cord about 4 or 5 hours after the birth and I explained to him that the cord was empty now.
The only thing I didnt prepare him for was the blood. It was all in the pool so it wasnt a big issue but when he talks about it now (it happened 4 months ago) he talks about the pool having blood in it.
DS2 was born at 2.22pm, if he was born at a time when DS was asleep I wouldnt have woken him up. He doesnt take kindly to having his sleep disturbed! :P
xx

[WindyCityMom]

Thank you

My DD is the type who would gladly be woken up at any point in her sleep. Clearly I don't wake her from a sound sleep on a regular basis, but anytime something has woken her up in the middle of the night (even us, a couple times in emergencies when we had to take her with grandma), she is beyond thrilled to be awake. I wish I could click into action as quickly as she does!

[VeezieTG]

my ds1 was about 25 months when ds2 was born. he was present for almost all of it. he did take a little nap in the middle of the day. (i was in labor from about 7 am til 5:30pm). he LOVED it. and we didn't really "prepare" him in any way. as stuff was happening we just explained what it was. "mama's being very quiet while she bounces cos her belly is getting hard." "mama's making a big noise so she can push out a new baby." "mama's very quiet while she pushes out the baby." (my bf and mil were talking to him, of course, not me!) he stood right next to me the whole time and then next to the tub while i delivered and he was very quiet and open to everything. was very happy and laughing and clapping when ds2 actually came out. and even tho i know he doesn't remember remember it, he still talks about it. and this time he tells ds2 that "we're going to get in the pool this time when mama pushes out a new baby."

i think that if there is someone there with them, even if its you, that is assuring them that everything that is happening is normal and happening the way its supposed to, they are receptive to it. if your dp is saying to him/her "mama is hurting but it will go away soon. mama is only making that big noise so she can push out the new baby." that kind of thing. if other people around you aren't worried and freaked out. the vibes can make or break it i think...

[onyxravnos]

i read Hello Baby to ds1 to get things started and then have watched a lot of homebirth youtube movies. He is always very concerned when the mom doesn't make a lot of noise! then he just brings it up and we talk about it.... like when we are in the tub or how helpful he can be when asher is being born and how it hurts which might make me make a lot of noise but it helps the baby come etc etc