euthanasia for aggressive dog- update#24

[Peony]

Anyone BTDT?

For some history see this thread: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...528&highlight=

I meet with a behaviorist this morning, she has a large waiting list, but worked us in because of his aggression towards children. It was her official recommendation that we euthanize. As much as I start crying at the thought of it, I do agree. He can not be trusted around children and his severe anxiety issues make him not rehomeable. He self inflicts damage while crated, and destroys the house while not.

I just look at him now, asleep on the stairway behind a gate because he can't be around DD2, and it breaks my heart to think of doing it. DH is insisting that everything is fine, the bitting was no big deal, everytime I turn around he has let the dog out around the children, which is not ok. The last biting incident came out of nowhere, the 3y was just standing there and the dog went after her multiple times. DH is not grasping the seriousness of this problem.

So anyone wanna hold my hand?

[Thalia the Muse]

I am so very sorry. What a difficult decision to have to make. I've read your other thread, and believe me I think you are doing the only responsible thing you could possibly do.

[NCmama]

I have had to do this. We had a dog that became increasingly skiddish. He would hear kids playing outside and start shaking like crazy. It was somewhat dark one morning and I walked over and said hello and started to pet him and he bit me. I said hey it's me and he bit me again. Then came the kids. One was just walking by him and he reached up and bit my son and then my younger child was sitting in a chair and he just reached up and bit him. I tried to get training, but due to the fact he had bitten children, nobody would touch the dog. Of course no rescue group would take him and I didn't want to lie about the fact he had bitten. So I took him to the shelter knowing full well his aggressive and anxious behavior would ensure he didn't stay long. Of course you hope and pray. I cried the entire weekend. That Monday I called the shelter and was told they won't give out information on animals dropped of there and I started crying and said please just tell me if he's still there and I guess hearing my anguish she said no.
So I feel your pain. That was 7 years ago and I think at least that poor dog is happy in doggy heaven not being scared of every thing he sees.
Your DH needs to support you and understand it won't change. Having small children and an unpredictable dog is nothing to play with. I would be worried and I would do what you feel is right and safe for your kids.

So that was a long response to say....sure, I'll hold your hand!

[ananas]

Oh, mama. Euthanasia is never easy, I'm sorry you're going through this.

[Maluhia]

[thismama]

I agree it's the right decision. You can't rehome a biting dog, and you can't keep him with your kids either. Just remember right now he is blissfully ignorant, and you will be making the best possible decision under teh circumstances.

[Pepper44]

Sometimes you just have no other choice. It's incredibly sad to make that choice, but at least he will feel no pain and gently go to sleep.

[GoBecGo]

I have read your other thread. It is the only thing to do. It is the RIGHT thing to do. The worst case scenario is that he manages to bite the baby or your kid, or another person's baby or kid and seriously injures them. Then he will be hauled away by people who don't love him (police, CPS, dog control, whoever it ends up being) and euthanised anyway. At least this way you can be with him, he can be loved to the end. Life is so cruel, and i'm sorry you're going through this. But you are being the best owner he could hope for through this.

[pottermama]

I am so sorry! I know how much he means to your family. Let me know if I can help out at all. s:

[Peony]

Thanks everyone. I have a family friend that is a large animal vet, she often does "favors" for people she knows. I know she will agree to come to our house if I ask. I think I am going to allow DH a couple days to process this, he took it as it was coming out of left field this morning, and then give her a call. I've kept the dog separate for the last 2 weeks, I can do it another couple days.

[nd_deadhead]

I don't even have to read the other thread to know you're doing the right thing.

Some friends of ours lived in the country, then moved into town. Their dog, who had always been friendly and gentle, couldn't handle the increased level of activity at the new house - more traffic, pedestrians, etc. She got very aggressive, and even though they had no young children, they hardly dared let anyone in the house. They showed dogs, and they were very good trainers.

When they told me of their decision to have BJ euthanized (rather than try to rehome her), they said "If she can't be happy with us, she isn't likely to be happy anywhere else".

Sometimes being a responsible pet owner - and more important, a responsible parent - means making very difficult decisions. A dog that has become aggressive is NOT a happy dog - in exactly the same way that a dog who is in a lot of pain is not a happy dog. The most humane choice for both is euthanasia.

Hugs to you, Peony - I'll gladly hold your hand.

[gothnurse3]

Good luck...I've gotcha back.

[EFmom]

I've had to do this and it is heartbreaking. But it certainly sounds like you have no other acceptable options. I'm so sorry. You are doing the right thing.

[RooRooDog]

I'm so sorry. I've been in this situation before, and after much heartache decided euthanasia was the only option. I just want to say that I know you are making the right decision.

As my dog got older he had became more and more aggressive- towards other people, dogs, and finally our other dogs. It was so hard to say goodbye, he was my best buddy, traveling companion, and security. I had a bond with him that I have never experienced with anyone else, dog or human. He was 95 lbs, but loved nothing more than snuggling in my lap.

But he was freaked out by everything and everyone, and eventually started to just go crazy. He was especially afraid of kids- and as a large, all white, fluffy dog, kids were soooo attracted to him! He never bit any children, but not from lack of trying. The final straw was when he almost killed one of our other dogs. I knew that I couldn't just give him away to someone else, he had so many problems and had bonded so much to me that he would have been possibly more aggressive and certainly very unhappy without me. I also realized, for all the love he gave me, he wasn't very happy, period. He had terrible digestion issues and would chew his fur off from being so nervous and afraid.

It was not an easy decision to make, and I would be lying if I said that I don't sometimes miss him still. But I know that he was suffering, feeling so unstable and afraid all the time, and I'm glad he is at peace now. I also know that I made the right decision for my family.

Good luck and peace.

[spedteacher30]

My old housemate and I had to put her dog down for aggressiveness. there were no children in the house at the time, but he bit both of us more than once.

It is terrible, so hard and heart-breaking.

No judgement from me.

[russsk]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm also dealing with this and it's so hard. I started a thread a while back but had to stop responding for a bit because it's just too painful. It sounds like you're doing the right thing.

My dh has always been sort of an apologist for the dog, too, and would routinely put him in situations he couldn't handle. It took a behaviorist to make him see that, though he still occassionally does it. Makes me a nervous wreck.

[greenmagick]

mama!!!

I really do know how you feel. Its a super long story, but I had to put two down for aggression. It is a horrible feeling and I'll admit, on bad days I still question what else I couldve done. In the end though, it was honestly the only responsible thing to do....but it is so very hard.

[yaM yaM]

Sweetheart, I have been right where you are. It is so heartbreaking. But only in our thoughts of them because they are (so thankfully) unaware of what will come (and I believe that it is a very quick process). I support you in offering affection and compassion to your sweet dog in the way that only you can at this time, and please give a whole lot to yourself, as well. You know what needs to happen and the only thing left to do is love.

[griffin2004]

I've got you, Peony.

I had to do this way way pre-child with a young dog. My vet tried to talk me out of it and offered to try to find a home for her, but I knew her life would be misery given how crazy aggressive she was.

You're doing the right thing. Unfortunately, that doesn't make it any easier.

[angie7]

I've BTDT and it is absolutely the hardest thing to do I rescued a Great Dane from an abusive situation and after 2 years of intense training, he just would not break the cycle. He was aggressive towards women and children and went after me several times. He never bit me, but he did leave marks and scratches with his teeth. The last straw was him going after me while I was pregnant with our twins. We put him down the next day. It was so hard but something we had to do. He was only 4 years old but a complete liabilty. Know in your heart that this is best and that he may look healthy on the outside, but he is sick inside.