4yo hyper and mean as she drops naps

[SweetPotato]

I'm finally coming out of my denial that my 4yo dd is actually starting to drop her afternoon nap-- and it really, really, stinks. The fight to make a nap happen no longer seems worthwhile, but I'm at a loss as to how to deal with her over-tired behavior. Around 3pm she starts getting really wound up- and little issues will often spin into her trying to scratch me or bite me. It's hard because we usually spend the morning out , and the afternoon is just the time of day when I am worn out and really used to having some down time- so my patience goes very quickly. How do you cope? How can I cope? I'll try to sit down together to cuddle, but she tries to hurt me (while laughing manically)-- but if I try to get away from her so that she can't hurt me, she just keeps chasing me, with her claws out (still cackling). Some people have suggested afternoon preschool, etc. so that i can get a break- but she really is out-of-sorts enough that I fear she would be more inclined to push other kids or otherwise act out (this is why we still go out in the mornings, because come 2-3pm she just isn't very nice to play with anymore) Any tips for cooling us both down? Please?

[Deir]

Are you putting her to bed earlier to make up for the lost nap? I have actually started trying to get my 4 yo ds to start napping again or at least having regular quiet time in his room looking at books right after lunch. Even though he sleeps 11 plus hours at night, he seems to be going through a huge development period with his drawings and writing letters etc. Plus his brother started kindergarten and they are used to being together constantly so i think the change is taking some adjustment. Anway- i am becoming aware of just how much sleep this guy really needs. maybe it isn't a nap everyday but it catches up to him over the week.
btw- he goes to sleep at night at 6:45!! and still needs more rest right now!

[_betsy_]

When DD started transitioning out of naps (at 2.5, I'm so jealous you made it to 4!), I made sure she had the *opportunity* to nap everyday at around the same time - it was fine if she wanted to fall asleep or have "quiet time" in her room - door closed, quiet voice, quiet toys. She could do about 30 minutes of alone play before she started wanting me again. It gave me a break, and helped both of us in the transition to no-naps-ville.

[hopefulfaith]

Quiet time.

When my kids dropped naps, they still had to spend time in their rooms, by themselves.

It is a learned skill: we started with ten minutes, then gradually built (over a few months) up to a half hour. Now, we sometimes go to 45 minutes. I've had a few days where we've gone to one hour, but I usually don't go that long. It isn't as much for me to have a break (although I love it!) as it is a time for them to recenter, calm down, and spend time alone by themselves reading/playing. I think that this is an essential skill for people, being able to spend quiet time alone (no music, tv, etc., and being able to entertain oneself without external stimuli). I think it starts in childhood.

However, staying on topic, it really helped my kids (ages 4 & 3) to transition from naps to no-naps. They still need "down time" and time away from each other during the day.

I also found that it was really easy to put the kids to bed sooner. Mine had always had naps, and then gone to bed around 9-9:30ish, but without naps....they're often sleeping by 7:45-8pm, so bedtime routines start around 6:30-7pm at my house. That was a real adjustment, but a good one.