Feeling down

[StrongFeather]

So, I have been feeling really down this past week or so. I can't pin point just what exactly has been setting it off, but this "down" feeling is definitely here.

My Mom has been here for the past month. She was planning on coming to visit and meet her first grandchild, but when it came time to call and check with me if it was ok to stay with my DH and I for A MONTH, umm, well she seemed to overlook that part. So, she has been staying with us off and on for over a month. DH likes my Mom enough, but enough is enough, and no man I know what's to come home to his MIL every day for a month. Let alone that she is loud, so we can't go to our room and pretend she's not here. DH and I can be loud people, but it's OUR house, y/k? I can totally see and feel DH's poitn of view, but I am also feel like i am in such a tough position.

I have a really strained relationship with my Mom. It was mostly my teen years that were worse, but let's just say my relationship in my adult years are not all nice either. Most recently we got in a screaming match at the end of my baby shower, yeah, classy, I know. So, as this is the first time I have seen her in person since July, it's a little strained. So then she books a flight for a month?? How do you figure that's a good idea?

So the reason I am writing all this, is I am not sure if I am just down, or if I should try and see my doctor for Post Partum Depression. I mean I know that having a baby is a big adjustment. I also moved to an area where I don't know anyone, and I am pretty alone most days.

To top it off my supply feels like it is dwindling. I had over supply issues, now I am starting to even doubt that now, was block feeding and now I am back to offering both sides at each feeding. Sam just turned 12 weeks on Saturday, so I am assuming that his constant wanting to nurse might be the 3 month growth spurt? I am just so afraid that he's not getting enough milk. He's not particularly fussy, or crying more, just wants to nurse allthe time..

I know this post is all over the place, but this is how my mind has been the past couple of days, and I need someone to talk me down a little...

[diana_of_the_dunes]

s to you! Sounds like you have a whole lot going on, in addition to adjusting to being a mama. I know I've had some rough days. Some women seem to just fall naturally into being a mother; it's what they've always wanted to be and as soon as they have their baby, they're the happiest and most fulfilled women in the world. That was so NOT me. It's a huge adjustment, and although I'm really happy most days, there are some days I really miss my "old life".

Add to that the fact that your mom is visiting (my mom and I get along great, but ever since I got pregnant she's been driving me more crazy than since I was a teenager) and your move to a new place... I'd say that feeling a little down is perfectly normal. I'd worry if you start feeling really out-of-sorts (like no appetite or overeating, can't sleep/all you want to do is sleep, NO motivation to do anything, etc.). Seems like right now you fall within the "normal but stressed" range.

Moving to a new place is rough. Hopefully you can find some new friends soon. Are you working? Can you maybe find some kind of mom group or go to La Leche League meetings? Exercise/yoga/some kind of art classes?

And about supply... I always feed off both breasts at each feeding. I freaked out about supply a few weeks ago, since Ethan was having awful evening fussies (they've since disappeared). If Sam is miserable right after you feed him, I think that's when you need to worry that he's not getting enough. Is he having plenty of wet diapers? Gaining weight? If so, then you're probably fine. Don't you wish boobs came with ounce calibrations so you'd know how much you're feeding him? My mom was a little paranoid on that front and weighed me before and after each feeding so she'd know. You can always go that route too...

Hope this helps, at least a little...

[spitbath]

oh, mama! i can totally relate about the mother thing. mine lives in town, and has kept her distance for the most part, but her visit while i was still in the hospital was intense. she got pissed when i told her that it might be a good idea if she left when my dad and stepmom got there. she had been there for 12+ hours!! most interaction with her is unbearable. i love her, but she's wound sooo tightly and i would be going totally crazy if i had to deal with her every day.

have you cried lately? i know how hard it can be if you're not a 'cryer', but it helps (lowers blood pressure, relaxes you in general) that was one thing my PP doula made a point to encourage- taking the time to cry. it doesn't have to be ABOUT anything. just let yourself feel what you're feeling.

the one thing that i've tried not to do is box myself in when i'm feeling low with wondering if it's PPD. considering what you're under, i think it's pretty understandable that you aren't exactly.. chipper if you're thinking about hurting yourself or somebody else, that's when to get serious help, but i have to remind myself that when i'm feeling down, it's okay. usually after a good cry, i'm ready to go on a walk, cook a meal, or do something to make myself feel better.

good luck to you, mama, with your mother and everything else!

[Gwendolyn's babies]

I would be stressed too in that situation.It's nice she came to visit, but a month? That a long time.

[Julia24]

I would never last a month with my Mom and a new baby. No WAY! And we're close. That's probably stressing you out - is she leaving soon?

And about supply - we're bottle feeding and Charlotte is 3 months next week and she is eating like CRAZY and it's in bottles so I KNOW how much she's getting, so I would chalk it up to that, personally. She literally did not leave a single drip in her bottles all day today, so tomorrow I'll have to give her more in each feed (even though you just know it's only going to make her spit up more, yk?)