New (to us) dog, kids and pack order

[chantald]

I need some suggestions..

We got a rescue dog two weeks ago from a local rescue. She is 1 year old and a beagle/cocker spaniel mix. We adore her! We were very up front and honest with the rescue organization.. we have kids.. one of them is nearly 3 years old.. tends to be a little rough..We had a dog recently, about a year ago, that we had to rehome after she became very aggressive with children.. If my son caused this or if it was something in the breeding.. I have no idea. Her liter mate also exhibited similar traits but was in a home with much older (teenagers) children.. After 10 months of working with a trainer in our home..it became obvious we were not the right place for her.. and we worked through the trainer to rehome her.. where she is thriving..

Shades of our experience are haunting me.. I really really really don't want to screw this up again..

How can I make sure that things go smoothly.. She has a crate that is off limits to the children.. we socialize her daily.. taking her with us nearly everywhere.. she loves to go with us.. she sits between the two older kids in the 3rd row with her doggie seat belt. She is inside with us unless we are all outside together.. The kids play with her and walk her. I have my older child feeding her her meals..
I dont' allow rough play with her.. no tug of war.. no wrestling.. to jumping.. but today she was in her bed in the living room and my youngest sat on her.. she barked in what I heard was a warning tone and I immediatly got up and removed my son.. called the said a sharp "NO" to the dog and looked her in the eye and said "sit" and "down" which she did.. I then called my son over and had him sit in my lap. I wanted to convey the message that 1. I was in charge and 2. My son was my puppy and this was not ok..
I think she got the message.. when released she went into her crate for a good 1/2 hour, unasked and un commanded.. all on her own..
I have her on a light leash now, attached to my belt..

Did I handle this correctly? Do I need to keep her attached to me at all times..? What else can I do to make sure that we all live peacefully! I really dont' want to screw this up...

[gingerstar]

Not sure I have enough experience to give advice, but I did want to recommend a great book - Childproofing your Dog. He also wrote My Smart Puppy, which I love too.

Sounds like you are doing good - keeping her with you might be a good idea, unless you can be sure that she will not be alone with your 3 yo at all. That would be my only concern, I think.

[greenmagick]

I dont understand the problem? She was barking to say either ow or I dont like that. A warning bark is a normal part of a dogs language.

[Ola_]

I agree, keeping her with you is a good idea - getting sat on should never be allowed. Especially for what I'm guessing is not a large dog, she could really get hurt.

I also have to say I agree with the PP about the warning (and good for you for paying attention to it!). Some dogs will go straight to the bite and won't bother to bark, growl, or move away. Be careful with punishing for the warnings, it will cause some dogs to go straight for the bite.

It sounds like you're doing all the right things. Since you know your youngest is rough with dogs, I would bring either the dog or the kid with you when you leave the room (depending on which is more likely to come when you call them ). Alternately you can set up an exercise pen for the pup, put up some baby gates, or crate pup when you're not right there.

[chantald]

I just have visions of our last dog..and the end result..no dog.. so I want to make sure that I stay on top of this. It isn't ok at all for my youngest to sit on her..DH and I are working hard to get that through to him..but he's 2 (nearly 3)..so I'm keeping the dog attached to me.. which is fine as she's my little shadow anyway..

I'll get that book..

I don't want to push for warnings at all..I'd prefer if she would just move away.. but I also understand if he sits right on top of her.. well.. that's hard..

I also wanted our dog to understand.. she isn't "over" my kids in pack order..as I guess I really screwed that up with the last dog

[macly]

I completely agree that whatever it takes, don't allow pup to get sat on or injured. Her warning tone is something you do not want to train out of her, since as others have pointed out, a dog who is punished for using her warning tones will abandon them, and go from happy dog straight to aggressive dog. Sure it would have been great for the dog to just get up, but as you pointed out he was still sitting on her and she might have been unable to get up. Her reaction was her only way to communicate she is in pain.

If you punish a dog for reacting to a situation (such as being hurt by a toddler) then the dog is likely to associate punishment with that situation. The dog may then turn to becoming aggressive towards a toddler (since there is a history of negative reinforcement associated with child) because the dog knows punishment is coming to her when the toddler is around.

Keep doing what you are doing in keeping pup in your sights at all times. If you can't do that, then pup can have some quiet time in her kennel with a kong or other brain stimulating activity. Teach your son not only about what not to do, but also your dog's body and verbal languages. I have a 2 yr old and two dogs who we've had for 5 and 7 yrs. The older dog is very reactive and my son can be very physical with the dogs. Needless to say, it has not been an easy road with the two of them. We are consistent with how you are supposed to treat dogs. If my son is too physical with them, then he gets a time out and an explanation of how to appropriately interact. Read up on canine body language. Turid Rugaas has an excellent book titled "On Talking Terms with Dogs: Calming Signals". It goes over canine body language (with pictures) so you can learn exactly what your dog is thinking when toddler is around; fear, anger, etc.

As far as the alpha position goes, remember that alphas in the wild don't have to go around proving they are alpha, alphas just are. "Culture Clash" by Jean Donaldson is great one that talks about human and canine roles together.

Good luck. Your hard work now will pay off later with a well loved family member, and a toddler who knows how to play gently!

[betsyj]

I also wanted our dog to understand.. she isn't "over" my kids in pack order

But this isn't a pack order issue. Your son was hurting her. I know you know this but just wanted to point out that pack order doesn't mean accepting whatever abuse kids hand out you know?

I would definitely keep toddler son from dog unless you are right there supervising. Dog spending a bit of extra time in her crate will not hurt her-better for her to be crated and safe then for an unfortunate incident to happen.

Sounds like you are doing fine.