I am not sure where to post this but maybe it has to do with the fact that my mom watches dd pretty often (3-4 times a week for ~2 hours at a time) because of my work schedule ... but actually it is not about me and my work ... or about me and my parenting ... but rather about my mom. She misses no opportunity to find fault with me, my parenting, and esp my dh.
I can deal with the first two. I am not sure what to do about the third. SOme of the faults she finds with me / dh are valid, some are exaggerated, and some are entirely incorrect. But that is besides the point, I feel. I mean, we all have faults. I am acutely aware of DH's faults. If I knew a way to correct him, believe me I would! And I have tried - with little success. But I see no point in discussing this with my mom who never has anything nice to say about him any way.
She then finds fault with me for tolerating his annoying habits. From my perspective, these are annoying - not picking up after himself, not spending enough time with dd are the ones that bother me most - but I have tried to talk with him about it. In general I do not yell /fight and neither does dh. I think this is a strength of ours. Moreover I dont see that fighting about this is going to be more effective in solving the problem.
However my mom interprets my "casual" acceptance of his faults as a sign of my own weakness.
So I just keep quiet, let her say what she wants and take it silently. Is there anything else I can do? I know I can always say something like "I dont need your opinion of dh" but I don't really want to use that if I don't have to. I would rather remain silent. Nor do I want to disrupt the pattern of having her watch dd - not because I cannot find any other alternative, but to me that seems like merely avoiding the issue and not resolving it.
I can deal with the first two. I am not sure what to do about the third. SOme of the faults she finds with me / dh are valid, some are exaggerated, and some are entirely incorrect. But that is besides the point, I feel. I mean, we all have faults. I am acutely aware of DH's faults. If I knew a way to correct him, believe me I would! And I have tried - with little success. But I see no point in discussing this with my mom who never has anything nice to say about him any way.
She then finds fault with me for tolerating his annoying habits. From my perspective, these are annoying - not picking up after himself, not spending enough time with dd are the ones that bother me most - but I have tried to talk with him about it. In general I do not yell /fight and neither does dh. I think this is a strength of ours. Moreover I dont see that fighting about this is going to be more effective in solving the problem.
However my mom interprets my "casual" acceptance of his faults as a sign of my own weakness.
So I just keep quiet, let her say what she wants and take it silently. Is there anything else I can do? I know I can always say something like "I dont need your opinion of dh" but I don't really want to use that if I don't have to. I would rather remain silent. Nor do I want to disrupt the pattern of having her watch dd - not because I cannot find any other alternative, but to me that seems like merely avoiding the issue and not resolving it.
