dtd...

[JordanKX]

Can I really ask this?? :-)

We're at 8 weeks pp, plus two weeks before Rowan was born. And still no *action*. Mainly because DP works nights... he gets home after Rowan and I are up for the morning; goes to work while we're still awake. It's at the point where we need to schedule time in the middle of the day, but between no real nap times and so many things to do, it hasn't happened.

I'm in the mood. Pretty sure DP is too!! At this point, the First time back is like the first time period...so much hype. We just need to do it, yk?

Are you ladies getting back to business?

And if I might ask... what do you do with your co-sleeping LO's?

[StrongFeather]

we have been in the mood, but never could figure it out. Now DH is in the mood much moe than me. We have dtd 2xs..embarassing I know.. it's been a struggle for us to find time when LO is sleeping, and not in our bed. Sneaking off while he is in his new swing will work in the future, I am sure.

When we have dtd, it has really hurt for me. (sorry to highjack the thread, sure how to ask this) Should it hurt? My midwife said that I tore my hymen during the birth. Can I do anything to make this better?

So, not much help, but I can relate!

[2boyzmama]

Nothing going on here yet, but I'm not 6 weeks yet, and although I feel the need for intimacy/closeness, I don't feel like DTD. And hubby seems content with, ahem, "other" things

With a cosleeping babe, what we did before was I would nurse Connor to sleep in bed, then hubby and I would go somewhere else, couch, shower, floor You can also try to put baby down somewhere else (play pen, swing, bouncer, carseat) so you can have the bed for a while.

And the pain...it hurt after Ian for MONTHS. In fact, longer. I had a 3rd degree tear and an episiotomy, and it didn't heal right, and not only did DTD hurt, but I often bled a little. LOTS of lube helps, breastfeeding naturally dries you up, so lube is essential! Condoms irritated me a lot, which was annoying since that was the form of BC we were using.

After Connor...we were so crazed with his medical stuff, I don't think we even tried to DTD until he was 3 months or more. And I don't remember it hurting, I tore along my old scar line that time and the dr patched it up plus corrected my previous tear and it didn't hurt.

This time, from my own feeling around down there, I don't think I'm going to have many problems. My vaginal area feels fine, and my perineum mostly feels okay, but I am still having some soreness near/around my rectum, 'roids maybe?? But I'm hoping it's far enough away that it won't matter for DTD.

[octobermoon]

uh, yeah, NO. 7 weeks pp. third degree tear, still a little bleeding from time to time, (probably the blood thinners) girly parts look OK but definitely a bit different. at 6 week appointment MWs said wait on DtD. so i'm waiting, part of me wants to have sex and part of me doesn't want to. i also have a hemorrhoid it's getting better but still i have never had one before. i got it during the birth, i'm kinda feeling really sexy with that.

[GiantGi]

10 weeks pp here and still no action. Poor DH.

[deymm]

7 weeks pp and nothing. we did try 1x, but I was not comfortable so we stopped. I am almost 20 lbs lighter than my pree-preg weight so dh is chomping at the bit! But my c-sec scar is still tender as is my "bowl of jello" so I just don't feel sexy at all. Plus I'm on Zoloft for ppd and the #1 side effect is loss of libido. Greeeeeaaaaaat.....

[Lula's Mom]

We haven't yet at 8 weeks pp. I'm nervous- Jordan you're so right, it is like the first time all over again.

It did hurt a LOT for me after my other babies. I can't remember for how long though.

Strongfeather, you still had your hymen? Is that common? Maybe I am confused. I always thought it was just a bit of tissue covering the vaginal opening that was gone after sex/tampons/strenuous exercise/whatever.

[MichelleAnnette]

My first was 4 MONTHS old when we started dtd again. I say don't do it if you don't want to! I didn't have any unusual birth injuries either - just a second degree tear. This time I am 7 weeks pp and we tried once but the baby woke up. This time I think the killer will be not finding time with a 2 y/o and a baby.

The way I explained it to dh the first time around is that this is a season in our relationship and it won't last forever. We had lots of time before the baby and we will have plenty after but not right now.

[StrongFeather]

Originally Posted by Lula's Mom

.

Strongfeather, you still had your hymen? Is that common? Maybe I am confused. I always thought it was just a bit of tissue covering the vaginal opening that was gone after sex/tampons/strenuous exercise/whatever.

Umm, yeah, that's what I am sayin!! This is what one of my Midwives said, but I am not convinced. She said it was what was left of it, kind of like it was rolled to the side, but hmmm, I feel the same way as you do, skeptical.

I am going in for my Pap on Monday. I plan on getting this whole hymen myth cleared up, and hopefully work on some ideas of why it hurts (stings) so badly.

[2boyzmama]

Originally Posted by StrongFeather

Umm, yeah, that's what I am sayin!! This is what one of my Midwives said, but I am not convinced. She said it was what was left of it, kind of like it was rolled to the side, but hmmm, I feel the same way as you do, skeptical.

I am going in for my Pap on Monday. I plan on getting this whole hymen myth cleared up, and hopefully work on some ideas of why it hurt (stings) so badly.

when ian was born, the dr said i needed an episiotomy because i had a thick hymenal band that wouldn't stretch and was going to tear anyway and they had to use the vacuum (he was having bad decels...this was my birth that everything went wrong). i remember thinking the same thing as you, how the heck do i sitll have a hymen? but i was told the same thing, so who knows?

[pastrygirl]

I was shocked at how much it killed after my c-section, and it hurt up to a year! This time (VBAC) didn't hurt, but I used coconut oil -- the most magical lube ever.

Until last week, Caleb wouldn't stay asleep if I moved more than a centimeter away from him, so there wasn't any action going on. Now that he'll go into the co-sleeper for small stretches, I'm fertile! Gah. Maybe next month. (I chart, and need at least a month of charting to determine my infertile pattern.)

[confustication]

Yeah, I'm in awe of those of you who have found the energy to be interested. DH is very keen on the idea.... but really, I'd rather get some extra sleep or read a book or do something that doesn't involve someone wanting some part of my bady in some way.

I'm completely touched out, and when the baby is sleeping, I just want my space!

Oh, add in the PPD and my interest plummets even further.

DH is just going to have to deal.

[saffrongirl]

I wouldn't mind some closeness with DP but I literally can't find a span of longer than 5 minutes without a child. The baby cosleeps and the other children are around during the day/evening. I literally found myself lying in bed the other night strategizing how we could have time alone ("The baby sleeps in the car and so maybe once the other kids are dropped off at school, we could do something in the car..." But there is no way my first time PP will be in a car.) ...I guess at this point it's built in birth control. Kinda depressing though - we used to have such fun. Sigh.