I feel like we're doing too much

[annettemarie]

And I want to pull back, but I'm scared.

I'd really like to be a little more relaxed, but I feel scared they'll miss something. Heck, even as it is, I'm worried I'm forgetting to teach them something.

We do Waldorf main lesson blocks kind of sort of, but with four kids, time is at a premium. So I also use the workbox system.

My mornings go like this:
Around 8:30/9:00, the older two start on their workboxes. I do circle time with the two youngest. Then I show the toddler something he can do (it might be as simple as pointing out a new toy on the shelf) and work with the kindergartener for a little bit. We might tell a story, do a story-related craft, look at the letter that's related to the story. Then if he has any workboxes that he needs me right there for, we work on them. Here is a blog post with some of the workboxes. I'm really not too fussed about what he's doing, because he takes a 10 minute break at the end of each row, is finished by around 10:30, and most of the boxes have some sort of play activity.

But it's the older two I feel guilty about. They're each doing workboxes (files, actually-- Michael and Katie Grace) AND practicing cello/violin respectively, AND doing a main lesson. It just feels like too much. Not only for them, but for me! I feel like a pinball, pinging around from kid to kid to kid to kid.

In the afternoons, we just do read aloud and Story of the World.

I just don't know what to let go. I already feel guilty that
1. We don't fit in a daily walk
2. I'm not booting them outside daily
3. We're not getting in art and music appreciation
4. We're not doing any sort of "getting ready for the standardized test" prep
5. We hardly have any time to bake together or do projects of that sort
6. We don't do a whole lot of "writing process" type things, with editing and rewrites and finished products.

Two smallish victories:
I've been trying to let go of the idea that every file has to have something to do. If they only have 10, that's fine. I don't need to have something in the last two just for the sake of having something.

And our main lessons have been shorter, and do hands-on stuff. I try to work other main-lesson-related stuff in their files. (For example, Katie Grace is doing a Farming unit. We read about compost and worked on our compost bin together, but then the next day I put the book and her main lesson book in her file and asked her to draw a picture/write how compost works).

I guess I just feel like I'm almost trying to do two complete curriculums-- a Waldorf main lesson and then a more traditional one as well. I'd rather lean more towards a Waldorf curriculum, but then I'm afraid I'll miss stuff.

I don't even know if I'm explaining this well.

I'm afraid I'm doing too much, I'm afraid I'm overwhelming everyone, and I'm afraid we're all going to burn out.

And just for the record, I'm not remotely interested in unschooling. I'm just looking to see how we can fit things in without going crazy.

[annettemarie]

FTR, I don't intend this to be a "Look at me! I'm so awesome! We're getting so much done!" kind of thread. It's more like "Holy crap! I have OCD and anxiety issues and vacillate between thinking Waldorf is the coolest thing ever and that it isn't enough and I'm driving my children and myself nuts!"

[CariOfOz]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

FTR, I don't intend this to be a "Look at me! I'm so awesome! We're getting so much done!" kind of thread. It's more like "Holy crap! I have OCD and anxiety issues and vacillate between thinking Waldorf is the coolest thing ever and that it isn't enough and I'm driving my children and myself nuts!"

LOL for the record, you definitely came across as the latter there I don't know a huge amount about Waldorf education at all, is there a way to combine the 'main lesson' with the more traditional stuff? or does that ruin the waldorfness of it?

Is there anyway you can cut the number of workboxes back to say 8 or so? That way you COULD boot them outside daily! Imo that's at least as important as desk work, even at 10 8 should be enough to cover the major subjects at least 2-3 times a week if you alternate them.. plus you'll probably hit some of it in your main lesson?

My biggest thought though, is relax You are not going to ruin your kids, they are not going to have huge gaping holes in their learning because you sound very on top of things! You won't do them or yourself any good if you burn out and run screaming pulling your hair out one of these days, ya know?

[MamaMonica]

Maybe making a list of what is important, what you want to accomplish and what is really cool but can be done next year can help you let go of some of it (and leave more time for walks, baking and things like that). Having down time in winter when the days are short is so important. The seasons dictate a slower, more contemplative time in winter.

[Needle in the Hay]

Maybe you could take one morning a week where they don't do the workboxes (though without piling on more the other days)? You could have the kids help plan something to bake and then you do it together. You can enjoy your baked treat with some tea or cocoa and do something like read a little about one painting or artist in a book like Usborne Art for Children (not sure I've got the title right I don't have it next to me at the moment) so there isn't a lot of text, they can learn more details about it later. This could just be to get them a little bit familiar with a famous painting/artist (you know, just making a little hook in their brain to hang other knowledge on later). To mix it up, some days you could read a poem and the older two could as well. Whether doing music or poetry you can play music in the background, casually mentioning what you are putting on.

It would take care of two of the things you feel guilty about (not that I think you should feel guilty) and mixes things up and gives you one morning where you are not a pinball.

[jessicaSAR]

I think it looks great. Are the kids unhappy? I feel like a ping pong as well, and I only have 3 DC. But, I also see this as my job, so it's ok to feel like I am completely busy all the time, and I don't think the children feel this way (just me, lol).

[elizawill]

if you enjoy both aspects of traditional and waldorf but can't mesh them together... maybe do 3 days traditional and 2 days waldorf? actually, i'd do 2 days traditional, 2 days waldorf, 1 day fun for arts, baking, etc. that would cover everything and lighten the load significantly.

[annettemarie]

You all are wonderful. There's lots of great stuff here.

It's not that they're unhappy. Sometimes they can't finish the workboxes. And I do try to put fun stuff in there as well, so it's not as if they're sitting doing worksheet after worksheet after worksheet.

I like the idea of having a workbox-free day. We already take Fridays off (well, we go to co-op, but that's 90% fun with a little learning on the side), so maybe Monday. And Waldorf main lessons are a 3-day cycle anyway. And it's not that I like traditional (I'm not even sure the other stuff is traditional; more like some weird Montessori-Classical lovechild), I'm just worried that we're missing important stuff.

It just really helps me be able to think things through like this. Thanks again!

[chrissy]

: about more like some weird Montessori-Classical lovechild

I can see myself feeling this way soon. We are just about to start homeschooling again and I am planning on doing some kind of blend of Waldorf and Classical as well. Like you, I LOVE Waldorf, but then I start feeling like it isn't enough. I do worry that trying to combine the 2 is going to drive me crazy though.

What I keep trying to remind myself is that I am a very smart mama, if I do say so myself , and I don't remember much if anything that I learned when I was 8. Which is not to say that I am not going to teach my kids anything, b/c, again like you, I am not interested in unschooling. But, I just try to remind myself that I am going to do the best I can and my kids will get what they need. They have lots and lots of time to learn. If we miss something now, we'll do it later.

[theretohere]

OK- I have specific suggestions.
For Katie Grace: 3,5,9, and 12 on that page can be combined- I would have her do all of her handwriting is cursive while she's learning. I rewrite all the models for my DD quickly in script so she's not copying the examples. Does she know the whole alphabet already? If not, I'd cut the other writing for a week, focus on learning all the letters, then cut the cursive specific worksheet. All the letters and assignments then can be in cursive for practice, with help on formation when needed.
2 & 8- is she doing separate math programs? Why two sheets? We are using two programs, but we alternate days. I would either do one program/day by alternating or switch to something that hits all her needs in one.
She's working on five books on that page for narration and reading? Is she doing any free reading as well? Are you reading out loud to her? I would drop a book or two from the workbox and let her do some fun reading.

Michael's seems more reasonable to me. I would maybe not do LoF on the days you do Calculadders, but other then that I think it looks great.

Now feel free to disregard it all.

[craft_media_hero]

We are doing a Classical/Waldorf/Montessori hybrid as well, and I've lately been feeling like maybe I need to cut it back as well.

It sounds like you're doing really good, with your workbox system and staying organized! The only thing I could say is that it might help to let go of the "number" of items for each file. You are going with twelve? That sounds like an awful lot, especially with Waldorf which is all about getting in depth, right? Would you be okay with only having a small handful (3-4) of rich activities set up for each child?

Also, are they doing every subject every day? Like a math program and focused handwriting practice in addition to the main lesson activity? I am guilty of doing this too. If you feel it's necessary to have "regular academic" stuff in addition to your Waldorf program, maybe you could alternate and only do one "supplemental" thing per day. Really, if they're writing at all, then I think it's okay to save the "real" handwriting/math/etc. instruction for when you get to a focused block.

[Lillian J]

I'm going to grab one thing out to take a look at as an example of where some of the energy might be loosened up to move on to other things:

And our main lessons have been shorter, and do hands-on stuff. I try to work other main-lesson-related stuff in their files. (For example, Katie Grace is doing a Farming unit. We read about compost and worked on our compost bin together, but then the next day I put the book and her main lesson book in her file and asked her to draw a picture/write how compost works).

Since you're composting, I would think she's learning about composting from that alone - does she really need to draw a picture or write about it in order to learn about it? Won't she easily know all she needs to know about composting by the time she's composting independently some day? And why does she need to be doing a farming unit? Can't that all be learned a lot faster without it being a unit study? Perhaps you asked her what she'd like to learn about and she said "farming," but what I found was that it just doesn't take all that concerted effort to learn most things of that kind.

I'll drag out and dust off my silly story about what it would be like if you wanted to learn to use one of your husband's power tools so that you didn't need to keep depending on him when you needed something built. Would you expect him to make you do a report on the users' manual, draw and write about the tool, fill out and color worksheets in which you name the parts, and take a quiz about it? Or would you expect him to just be very direct in showing you how it works watching you try it out, and making comments and corrections as he watches, and handing you the manual for reference? I think even the best schools make a much bigger thing of "lessons" than they need to, and that tradition has been brought into homeschooling. Without all the focus on lessons, there's a lot more time to spend in enjoyment of exploring other things. I started out doing creative Waldorfy things too, but found that it was really more satisfying to my own sense of creativity than it was to my child's learning needs. It fit in with the way I had intended to teach when I was going through teacher training, and it would have fit in fine in a classroom - parents would have been impressed at projects they saw coming home - but it turned out there was absolutely no need to do classroomy things in our home in order for my son to thrive. Lillian

[shaywyn]

Originally Posted by Lillian J

I'll drag out and dust off my silly story about what it would be like if you wanted to learn to use one of your husband's power tools so that you didn't need to keep depending on him when you needed something built. Would you expect him to make you do a report on the users' manual, draw and write about the tool, fill out and color worksheets in which you name the parts, and take a quiz about it? Or would you expect him to just be very direct in showing you how it works watching you try it out, and making comments and corrections as he watches, and handing you the manual for reference?

Hey, I like that story.

Although I don't have any, I think the pps have given some great suggestions, AM. Good Luck!

[kathymuggle]

Make a priority list of what is important. Go from there! If the answer to "why do you HS?" involves things like: play outside on nice days, lots of field trips, and off peak travel...make sure you make time for them.

I think you are going to feel a bit like a ping pong no matter what - you have 4 children Perhaps having in your head an end time for structured activities may help you? If you typically end your school work at 3:00 - can you tweek things to make it end at 2:00 ? Sometimes an earlier end time makes a lot of difference!

Lastly - can you put off some subjects or ideas until later in the year in order to carve out more time for everybody? Example: we are focusing on math, science and geography at the moment. Around February (or when everyone is ready) we are going to move onto History and computer programming (and more math, lol!). We may do more art after Xmas as well - we will see.

I cannot fit everything in going on a week to week basis...but going on a monthy, seasonal, or yearly basis? Yeah - that works.

Kathy

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by kathymuggle

Make a priority list of what is important. Go from there! If the answer to "why do you HS?" involves things like: play outside on nice days, lots of field trips, and off peak travel...make sure you make time for them.

See now, this is absolutely brilliant. I need to cross stitch it on a sampler or tattoo it on my forehead or something.

I think a lot of this is stemming from the fact that I didn't really have any prep time this summer. I meant to, but then I was pregnant and sick, and then I lost the baby, and then I was pregnant and sick again, and then I lost that baby, and school kind of sneaked up on me. So I've been at loose ends all along, I think.

[chfriend]

One way to figure out whether the OCD/hormone situation is driving it, would be to ask the kids: "So what's working for you that we're doing? What's not?"

I get the most interesting answers to those questions.

And I think that when you are educating really smart kids, it feels like this whether you are parent-directed or kid-directed.

Some kids just need a lot.

Advent is coming up....maybe use that advent spiral imagery to go to the center of the school work, then come back out. Kind of like the idea of in breath and out breath in establishing rhythm?

[Ravin]

It seems to me that you could streamline a few things. For example, are there any subjects you could be doing with kids lumped together that you aren't? For example, you mentioned that your 5th grader was doing a unit on Lord of the Rings, AND participating in the main lesson, which involved folk tales. Why double him up on lit? Let him read LOTR for fun, or for supplementary reading, but don't make work on it a requirement. Take the main lesson and add depth for the older kids, instead of piling extra breadth of subject matter on them.

I would work up a new routine for your day. Start with a walk, then do circle time as a group, leading in to the main lesson--the togetherness and calming effect of circle-type activities can be beneficial for the older ones as well as the little ones. If esp. your oldest thinks it's too babyish, make him your helper; have him do some of the reading to the littles, or play a song, or whatever. It can be a great chance for him to practice some leadership and teaching.

Then, when they split up for separate workboxes, make sure you give them breaks--longer ones for the small kids. During those breaks, kick them outside. Even if it's only for 10 minutes. Take a break yourself, or prep whatever you might need to.

It's natural and expected that you'd flit from kid to kid to kid during workbox time. Try and mesh things together so that you can check in with the older ones and see if they need help with anything during the longer breaks for the little ones.

Take a lunch break together and cook or bake something. Preparing food an eating together can be another less formal time to reconnect with each other, before doing your afternoon lessons together. Though by afternoon, I wouldn't expect much out of the younger ones than sitting an listening to a read-aloud; afternoon is a good time for quiet time; the older kids can finish up anything they need to, or read; the younger ones can nap if they need to, or play quietly. End the day with something together; a bit of end-of-day circle time, another short walk, or a group clean-up. Then, get them to help cook dinner or kick them out to play so you can cook dinner in peace.

If everyone's stressed out, more isn't necessarily better! I'm to the point where I've pretty much taken the lesson plans I made at the beginning of the year, and taking a week and a half to two weeks to complete one week's worth, because I tried to have us just do too much.

[prairiebird]

I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling this way, actually. And I'm glad you decided to post about it to ask for ideas. I'm afraid I'm headed for burnout because I'm trying to get in all the other stuff and it's squeezing out the fun, hands on type things like baking/taking a walk. And I only have two bigger ones at home now! But next year I'll pull one out of public school and my 3 year old will be a bit more in need of attention than the busy work I give her, so I'm kind of freaking too.


(and I'm also going to check out your blog, so thanks for sharing the link. I love reading how others are handling things!)

I do feel like I have to control a lot of things, so there might be a bit of an OCD type element you're having to fight as well. I want to move to more of a relaxed style, but I keep getting worried that I'm not getting to enough history chapters or something.

I hope you get a lot of good suggestions!

[lauriem33]

Originally Posted by Lillian J

I'll drag out and dust off my silly story about what it would be like if you wanted to learn to use one of your husband's power tools so that you didn't need to keep depending on him when you needed something built. Would you expect him to make you do a report on the users' manual, draw and write about the tool, fill out and color worksheets in which you name the parts, and take a quiz about it? Or would you expect him to just be very direct in showing you how it works watching you try it out, and making comments and corrections as he watches, and handing you the manual for reference? I think even the best schools make a much bigger thing of "lessons" than they need to, and that tradition has been brought into homeschooling.

Lillian, thank you for that wisdom! I'm gearing up for the holiday season and all the family get-togethers where I expect to be grilled about our homeschooling (it's our first year), and that is a perfect illustration I need to remember. My FIL already has said he wants to see my "curriculum" - he was a career teacher and principal for the last several years of his career, SIL is a teacher, aunt-in-law is a teacher.....

[annettemarie]

Thanks, all! I had a great talk with the kids this afternoon, and we're going to keep talking about this and figuring it out. I'll be back to let you all know what we decide.