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Birth plan shot to hell by OB (depressing update) - Page 2

post #21 of 25
I'm sorry Sleepy!

Have you checked into any other HCPs that you could switch to? I know it's pretty late in the game, but as long as baby is still inside, there's still time to change your plans. Were it me, I think I'd be starting to plan my "accidental" UC about now--and I really wouldn't want to go UC. I don't think I could trust your OB after how she managed your last birth.
post #22 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sleepyheaded_Mama View Post
Sorry, it took me awhile to calm down a little before I could even come back to the boards. I will attempt to explain what she nixed without throwing myself back into the anger/depression of yesterday:

What she is saying is that the "strapping down of the arms" is non-negotiable out of, I guess, some one-size-fits-all assumption that I will freak out and/or try to "help" with the surgery. She blamed it on "somnolence".

There will be no lowering of the drape or mirror, again out of some misguided assumption that the mother will freak out. Never mind that I'm a nurse and have attended many surgeries, and more than a few cesareans. But Heaven KNOWS what I'd do if I saw myself being cut open. Gawd this pisses me off to even type. ::sniff:: Her suggestion was "Just let your mom video tape it". Ok, but the sheet I got re/the surgery said NO VIDEO RECORDING. Furthermore, sure, I will just watch the birth of my son on tv later because it's ALMOST THE SAME &^%$#$%^ THING you stupid *&^%.

Sorry. Sorry. Finding my happy place....

Okay, moving along:

The weighing, and other 'routine tasks' are done in accordance to NICU protocol and are non-negotiable.

The baby will absolutely not go anywhere but into the warmer immediately after the cord is severed. No skin-to-skin allowed in the OR. Citing how disastrously unsafe it would be to even consider such an option, she wrote in big letters "NO! NOT TO HAPPEN!" across that bullet point.

I will not touch baby until recovery. Those arms simply MUST stay strapped firmly down. ::shiver::

Interns will absolutely be a part of the delivery, it is standard procedure that she is assisted by interns "I'm not going to do it all myself!" as if the notion were utterly absurd. How stupid of me.

I have been visualizing and praying like mad that I go into labor before the 20th. No one understands how badly I don't want this surgery. My family thinks it's just great that I can plan and get my mom down here and my sister can make plans for a back-up sitter while my mom is with me and my dad and brother can arrange to watch my older kids and - just -wow! How wonderful to be able to schedule a birth!

But you know what, if I went into labor naturally, randomly, and waited it out, called someone at the last minute - they would step up, watch my other kids, I know they would. And maybe they'd be inconvenienced, maybe they'd have to call into work, or leave work - but isn't that the way it's meant to be?? Aren't some things just supposed to follow their own course and aren't we just supposed to kinda go with that??

Please baby...please...
Oh wow. What a .
Oh sweetie.
post #23 of 25
So sorry you are going through this, so unfair to have a managed birth...

I personally, not that you would or should do it, would be to ignore the OB avoid any calls and just let babe come when he/she comes, then have babe at home... or go to an ER and have a different OB or possibly the same but I'd think perhaps your chances would be better with a different OB at that point since she would be real ticked and would be interested in getting back at you for not listening to her and avoiding the c-sec.
post #24 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sleepyheaded_Mama View Post
Sorry, it took me awhile to calm down a little before I could even come back to the boards. I will attempt to explain what she nixed without throwing myself back into the anger/depression of yesterday:

What she is saying is that the "strapping down of the arms" is non-negotiable out of, I guess, some one-size-fits-all assumption that I will freak out and/or try to "help" with the surgery. She blamed it on "somnolence".

There will be no lowering of the drape or mirror, again out of some misguided assumption that the mother will freak out. Never mind that I'm a nurse and have attended many surgeries, and more than a few cesareans. But Heaven KNOWS what I'd do if I saw myself being cut open. Gawd this pisses me off to even type. ::sniff:: Her suggestion was "Just let your mom video tape it". Ok, but the sheet I got re/the surgery said NO VIDEO RECORDING. Furthermore, sure, I will just watch the birth of my son on tv later because it's ALMOST THE SAME &^%$#$%^ THING you stupid *&^%.

Sorry. Sorry. Finding my happy place....

Okay, moving along:

The weighing, and other 'routine tasks' are done in accordance to NICU protocol and are non-negotiable.

The baby will absolutely not go anywhere but into the warmer immediately after the cord is severed. No skin-to-skin allowed in the OR. Citing how disastrously unsafe it would be to even consider such an option, she wrote in big letters "NO! NOT TO HAPPEN!" across that bullet point.

I will not touch baby until recovery. Those arms simply MUST stay strapped firmly down. ::shiver::

Interns will absolutely be a part of the delivery, it is standard procedure that she is assisted by interns "I'm not going to do it all myself!" as if the notion were utterly absurd. How stupid of me.

I have been visualizing and praying like mad that I go into labor before the 20th. No one understands how badly I don't want this surgery. My family thinks it's just great that I can plan and get my mom down here and my sister can make plans for a back-up sitter while my mom is with me and my dad and brother can arrange to watch my older kids and - just -wow! How wonderful to be able to schedule a birth!

But you know what, if I went into labor naturally, randomly, and waited it out, called someone at the last minute - they would step up, watch my other kids, I know they would. And maybe they'd be inconvenienced, maybe they'd have to call into work, or leave work - but isn't that the way it's meant to be?? Aren't some things just supposed to follow their own course and aren't we just supposed to kinda go with that??

Please baby...please...
WT OB?

I can't even imagined how PO'ed I'd be in your shoes ... the dismissive tone and scribbling all over your birth plan instead of taking the time to talk things through, even. If you have any patience left in you, I'd say, keep gently pushing her for some compromise on her part and request some evidence for her positions beyond "standard protocol" and "hospital policy."

In the meantime, I'll be praying that you go into labor before the 20th and have a safe and healthy birth!
post #25 of 25
This is breaking my heart. I hope it works out for you.
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