Help me to stop yelling

[RomanCarmelMom]

I started yelling because that was the only thing that worked for my son. I hate yelling at him and want to stop before it really starts to affect him. What else can I do that will work? He's 3.

[darcytrue]

IMO, time out/time away would be better than yelling. I used to sit in time out with my children at that age.

[Momma2Gianna]

Hello there

First, I would try to address the reason you are yelling. Are you yelling because he has done something so horrible and you're angry? Or are you yelling to get his attention? Or are you yelling at him as the form of discipline? Meaning, he threw a toy. Instead of telling him that throwing toys breaks them, or that he needs to sit in time out, or instead of some other form of distraction, you yelled at him to not throw a toy?

If you are yelling because you're mad, that's slightly more difficult to address. Kids have a certain way of just getting you while the getting's good, and although they are blessings and joys, they are also SO frustrating!!! If you are mad, then try taking a few deep breaths, (a method someone told me, that works, is take 6 deep breaths. For each deep breath, picture something in a certain category while you inhale and exhale, and then picture something else. For example, fruit. First picture a pineapple, then a banana, then a mango...They mental task of thinking of 6 fruits temporarily takes your mind off of what you're mad about and distracts you.)

If you are yelling to get his attention, try doing something you've never done before. Whistle. Sing. Clap your hands. The one that works best for my daughter is turning the lights on and off. It gets her attention and she stops whatever she is going and looks at me.

If you are using the yelling AS the discipline, then I'd try another method. Time out, quiet time, removal from the area, distraction, etc.

Those are my suggestions. Good luck to you!!!

[foreverinbluejeans]

I'm not really sure what you have tried that hasn't worked.

Problem solving works good with small children. Here are the basic steps. 1. define the problem behaviorally, 2. gather data - how often, where, when, 3. determines who owns the problem. 4. generate alternatives (even silly), 5. evaluate alternatives and give one a try. 6. evaluate the solution.

Lets say the 3 yo hits the baby. He hits the baby when parents are busy, when parents aren't watching. The parents own the problem, it's their responsibility to take care of the baby. Alternatives - give 3 yo away, give baby away, punish 3 yo, hit 3yo, watch 3yo, watch baby, wear baby in sling.

Decide to give 3 yo away and everything is fine. Just kidding!

Decide dad will hold baby while mom makes dinner. Baby doesn't get hit!

[RomanCarmelMom]

Apparently my discussion has been linked to some site that mocks MDC. Mock away.

Anyone who thinks it's healthy to scream at a toddler, is not someone I'd want to take advice from. That I'm being mocked by them for not wanting to yell must mean I'm doing something right! I actually care about my child and don't want him to be raised in a verbally abusive home.

[Latte Mama]

Originally Posted by RomanCarmelMom

Apparently my discussion has been linked to some site that mocks MDC. Mock away.

Anyone who thinks it's healthy to scream at a toddler, is not someone I'd want to take advice from. That I'm being mocked by them for not wanting to yell must mean I'm doing something right! I actually care about my child and don't want him to be raised in a verbally abusive home.

Oh mama, don't waste a minute of your time thinking about that!
I for one am glad you started this thread because the posters gave some great advice . I'm going to use it.