Protecting my son from his uncircumcised father.

[skybluepink02]

Ok, so my 9 month old son is uncircumcised, as is his father. When he was born I (and the NICU doctors) explained penis care to him, never retract, like a fingernail, ect, ect., ect.

Today he asks me in the middle of a diaper change when we're supposed to start retracting him. I explain to him we never retract, he'll gradually loosen it himself during exploration and baths, once he's old enough we'll teach him to rinse during baths and showers.

The problem is he was an uncircumcised boy during a time where his parents were instructed to retract and clean at every diaper change. He had problems with phimosis several times, which of course were attributed to him not retracting himself while urinating.

He brought up a time when he was a baby that he went to stay with his grandmother. She didn't retract him during that time, so his foreskin tried to repair itself from the repeated retractions, causing adhesion. His parents took him to a doctor who forcibly removed the adhesion.

So, he's convinced that Benny will have problems if we don't retract him at some point.

Also, he retracts his foreskin completely when he urinates. I'll be honest here, I'm not sure if this is necessary or not. (when he's naturally retractable, of course)

Any information, studies, especially from a medical site would be very helpful. Thanks in advance!

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Retracting to pee is a personal preference thing. Since his problems where caused by retraction why would he think that would be a good thing to do to his ds?

Not sure if this will help but here is the AAP intact care guide http://www.medem.com/medlib/article/ZZZRNBDTODD the section on retraction.

[chaoticzenmom]

My brother endured the same thing as your husband. He was intact, but retracted from birth. I really don't now how my mother did it as there's no way I could retract any of my sons. But she did. He's got a lot of scarring, because of it. It caused him so many problems that he circ'd his son.

My husband, on the otherhand is intact and wasn't ever retracted. He did it himself at puberty. He has no issues. My 9yo is not fully retractable (unless something has changed and I haven't been told.) My 4yo is almost retractable. The only reason I know these things is because I ask my husband to ask them and to make sure they're doing the right things. He rolls his eyes at me and asks them.

Your husband needs to know that Americans were taught wrong in the '70's. Americans are obsessed with cleanliness and so think that it needs to be cleaned under the foreskin. There's nothing under there...it's attached to the skin...it's skin on skin. Later, you can ask him if he's retractable and tell him to rinse it with water during his bath, but even that would probably be unnecessary.

I hope you find some good info to show him.
Lisa

[Crunchy Frog]

Print out this article for him. http://www.kindredmedia.com.au/libra...ractions/401/1

On another note, how cool that we both have 9 month old 33 week twins. Hope they're doing well.

[SlackerDad]

Just wanted to throw my two cents in about the retracting while peeing thing. Definitely not something I do, and in fact I mentioned before that I always felt like the fact that the urine kind of fills up the foreskin before exiting would in itself keep things clean under there since urine is antiseptic.
Also, as things are "winding down" when I urinate, I can pinch off the end to build up a little pressure and then let it fly so I don't "dribble", if that makes any sense.

I basically never manually retract. It gets retracted on its own if I have intercourse (unless I'm wearing a condom), and I quickly get it unretracted afterward. I just don't like the feeling of it being retracted, out unprotected in the open air.

[rabbitmum]

Originally Posted by chaoticzenmom

The only reason I know these things is because I ask my husband to ask them and to make sure they're doing the right things. He rolls his eyes at me and asks them.

Your husband needs to know that Americans were taught wrong in the '70's. Americans are obsessed with cleanliness and so think that it needs to be cleaned under the foreskin. There's nothing under there...it's attached to the skin...it's skin on skin. Later, you can ask him if he's retractable and tell him to rinse it with water during his bath, but even that would probably be unnecessary.

It is not necessary for children with retractible foreskins to retract during baths! Better to leave it alone. If they do it themselves occasionally while playing with it, it doesn't matter, but getting soap, bath oil or bath water in there on a regular basis can cause irritation. Just like you wouldn't try to wash a girl on the "inside".

[eepster]

I think you need to explain to him how his problems (the phimosis and adhesions) were actually caused by retracting, and not caused from not retracting. Explain how the sphincter at the end gets scarred at an early age causing phimosis many years later. Explain that the adhesions would not have occurred at all if the early retraction had not left the inside of his foreskin raw and vulnerable.

Then explain that he was lucky that it never caused any of the more drastic complications, such as paraphimosis or repeat bacterial infections.

[Fay]

I had a similar issue with my intact DH, who was forcibly retracted at age 4 and still remembers it vividly (he got a lollipop for his trouble). cirp.org has terrific info, and someone here pointed me to this article, which helped my DH understand normal development. Neither of our sons has had any issues.