using opposites and contradicting dd to get her to comply

[sisteeesmama]

My mom watches my dd every weekend for atleast a few hours and sometimes overnight.
My mom gets my dd to do things that she wants her to do by telling her NOT to do them like for example: "DD, don't you eat those cucumber slices, don't do, don't you do it girl"

Do you think this is ok? It works but I don't know if it makes sense, it's almost like teaching defiance....? I dunno, give m your thoughts!

[bstandlee]

I have to admit, it kind of bugs me when adults do this to get kids to do what they want. But it does turn it into sort of a game, gets the child laughing, and usually peacefully resolves the issue in question. I don't personally use the technique (well, I haven't yet...I can't say there will never be a day I won't!) but don't necessarily think it's harmful. I'm curious as to what others think.

[RunnerMommy]

I think as long as it's done in a playful way and the child knows that it is a "game" it's totally fine. If the adult is using it as a manipulation tool or trying to trick the child then I think it could be harmful. Based on your description it seems like your mom is just using it as a way to play and connect with your daughter.

[sisteeesmama]

ok, because it does work, esp. on those toddler-nights when she is not interested in eating.....so I'm glad to get some positive-ish feedback

[Shera971]

My MIL uses it all the time on DS and he thinks its hilarious. Its a big joke between them (Ie, "don't you dare give me hug, I hate them!" and of course DS flies to her for hugs). I actually have caught myself doing it sometimes too.

I agree with RunnerMommy that as long as both participants know its a game, its fine.

[crowcaw]

I do this with my 4 yo's all the time. They have a lot of fun with it. After they've done whatever I've told them not to do they ask me to tell them again not to do it and then show me what they've done so I can get mad because they weren't listening or I get sad that they're taking all my jobs and there's nothing left for me to do. It's all done with a lot of theatrics and they definitely know it's a game. I think it falls in line with a playful parenting approach.

[earthus76]

Sounds like playful parenting to me!

[jewelsJZ]

I do this with my 3 y.o. dd. It's a game, she knows it, it makes us both laugh. And it gets her to get on the potty by herself, eat her lunch before we have to take her brother to the bus stop, and pick up her toys.
She will often initiate it, too: "Mommy, I'm gonna get on the potty all by myself." with a sly smile, waiting for me to say, with mock surprise and shock, "No, no, don't do it, don't do it." Then when she does it, "Oh my goodness, I can't believe you just did that."
Big smiles and giggles all around.