I'm not TELLING her what to buy. I had mentioned the idea of getting this for DS for Christmas overall, she said that she would be more than happy to get it for him and once I sent her picutres of what I had in mind, she went the complete opposite route!!!! THAT'S what I've been trying to say this entire time. I feel like my words are getting misunderstood here. It hasn't been discussed any further. She's actually going to wait to give it to him for his birthday now, like I previously mentioned. They always get a big present for him - whether it's for Christmas OR for his birthday. Regardless if I've given her an idea of what to get him, any gift that she's ever given to DS, he's been super gracious for and so have DH and I. Please - it's not about that at all!
Hell, she even went out and got a $500 bike trailer for him for his b-day last year. A TON more than DH and I EVER expected for him to get, but she knew about much DS loved going on bike rides w/ DH and now he couldd do it more often. I gave her an idea and she rolled with it. I didn't TELL her what to buy and I didn't micromanage - she did this on her own.
I explained to her from the get-go how I wanted to go a certain way with his toys this year and when she didn't care to listen, that's when I got frustrated.
This does come across to me as telling her what to get. Sorry, but it does. You said you sent a picture, and you said you pointed out the reviews on her choice. Maybe to you that doesn't seem micromanaging, and maybe it's not playing out like that in person, but if I were on the receiving end, I would be giving up at this point.
You asked originally if you should get over it and I am saying that in my reading of what you've said throughout the thread, it might be good to take into consideration that gift giving is not only about the ecological values. There are also values around courtesy and family and gratitude, and I just think that in your frustration you may be missing out on those. But I've found that in my life and my family's life, the way we treat each other is just as much a part of our environment as the plastics and woods. Those are just my thoughts; hope it goes well for you.