how do you hold back :) - Page 3

[kgianforti]

Originally Posted by scheelimama

I think the OP knows that, but is just experiencing the normal anxiety most parents do when the majority of kids are doing things before their own, whether it be walking, talking, reading, etc. Doesn't mean you don't understand that kids all develop at different rates and that your DC is probably just fine, it just can be hard not to worry sometimes.

Yes I understand all that. But it seems like the poor gal is giving herself unnecessary stress and worry if she is comparing a child with SN to a peer without SN. And I was trying to point out to her so maybe she won't stress so much.

But like I said, I don't know if the SNs she listed affect academic capability.

[Momma Aimee]

Originally Posted by scheelimama

Aimee, you know I know exactly how you feel and have struggled with the same things. It's a little easier now that Scheeli is 6 and more ready for academics. It's hard to hold back when you're so anxious. The thing is, you can try to introduce some things, but chances are you and he will end up frustrated and you'll just end up having to wait a while anyway.

Are you guys doing a letter a week this year or saving that for next year? You could start doing a letter a week after the holidays and doing lots of fun crafts/art to go along with it, and nursery rhymes and stories. Make yourself happy and do some planning, but keep it preschool based, think fun, movement, art, etc. Take it slow.

starting letter of the week in jan. A;so something with numbers -- ie IDing them and writting them ... his math skills are his strongest.

also working more on the phonices element of speech -- not jsut teh sounds -- if that makes any sense.

kgianforti -- you are corrent. Ella is the wrost apple to bannas compassion -- she is child number 7 in a homeschooling family and a girl without any SN .. theo is the oldest in our family, and has SN ... but Ella is the peer we spend the most time with

and we don't KNOW if the SN will effect acidemics or not --shrug -- he is immature which effect his readyness -- but if it is going to effect his actual ablity -- i don't know.

Thanks everyone ...

[kgianforti]

Originally Posted by Momma Aimee

kgianforti -- you are corrent. Ella is the wrost apple to bannas compassion -- she is child number 7 in a homeschooling family and a girl without any SN .. theo is the oldest in our family, and has SN ... but Ella is the peer we spend the most time with

and we don't KNOW if the SN will effect acidemics or not --shrug -- he is immature which effect his readyness -- but if it is going to effect his actual ablity -- i don't know.

Thanks everyone ...

Readiness is a much better word and totally what I meant!! Not capability!!

6 months is actually a HUGE difference in young children. Thinking back to my dd 6 months ago and she was easily a "grade" below than where she is now. I won't worry one bit if I were you!

[craft_media_hero]

Okay, don't freak out! I understand that with other kids around, there will be a natural comparison or just "noting" that children your sons age are doing things that he isn't yet.

This is what I think: When your child is hungry, he reaches for it, right? When your baby is "ready" for something, he will go after it for himself as long as it's available. Preparing the environment and giving him the opportunity to explore when he's ready are the most important things you can do right now.

For instance, if there is a wooden alphabet puzzle out, does he check it out? Is he interested/repeats if you make the "buh" sound, matching it to its bee marker on the puzzle? Etc. I think that having materials available and allowing it to be part of your normal interaction is fine. If he's interested, great. If he'd rather play outside or color, that is just as viable as looking at books or doing a worksheet.

FWIW, I do think that coloring, at the age of four, or five, or six, or heck even my age, can be quite as valuable activity as reading. What if they really need to work that inner sense of control that they get when masterfully and meticulously coloring "inside the lines"? Or that crazy expressive bright, hard-pressed, joyful scribbling!

Your kid will learn to read. Even if he/she knows all the letter sounds and recognizes them without coaxing at an unusually early age doesn't mean that he'll be an early reader. And you could do worksheets from three on, I really don't think that guarantees that your child is/isn't going to read at any time other than when he/she is perfectly ready to do so.

So my word of advice to the OP is just to keep doing what you're doing naturally, while consciously setting up lots of learning opportunities around the house and in your normal everyday life. If you feel like you want to "do" something more than that, then check out some Waldorf or Montessori books. Hand rhymes and nursery stories never hurt any child, and reading great books is always a good idea. Lots of play-do and shape play, maybe some sewing cards, learn songs, and just really enjoy the fact that you don't have to keep up with any timeline other than your son's own natural development.

[pigpokey]

I was doing 100 EZ lessons at your son's age because his sister was doing it (15 months older). But hmmm. How did I avoid homeschooling before she was about to turn 5.

I think we were just really busy and we did a lot of outside activities, both organized and mommy-led, and she would be allowed to play on Starfall but she wasn't putting it together until she had the direct instruction. So we started that the fall she was turning 5 and called it kindergarten.

If you're only doing it for 10-20 minutes a day I don't see how some direct instruction in reading that your child enjoys could be a problem -- if it is, stop.

I never did Letter of the Week. They seem slightly useless without reading instruction, but that was just my perspective. My daughter learned letters and sounds from Starfall and Fridge Phonics but it didn't help her read. OTOH my son went into 100 EZ without being able to ID all his letters ahead of time (the book doesn't even use their names) and since it's a natural context for learning the letters it went just as smoothly.

We talked about numbers in the context of our lives, counted, etc. The first year of home schooling we did math games more frequently but not really goal oriented. This, our second year, we are going to complete Singapore 1A and 1B, but are currently drilling addition facts and watching Professor Finkle videos every other week or so. (I don't have the workbooks, just the textbooks, so based on what's in the text I figured we'd nail down our addition facts cold first.) I do not think lack of extensive preschool preparation in academics is a holdup.....

[Momma Aimee]

thanks

I mean it -- i appercipate the advice, stories and the support

[greenthumb3]

Originally Posted by Lillian J

If a child is eager to learn to read, that's just fine - but it isn't a sign he'll be a better learner or more successful in later education or the rest of life. - Lillian

Lillian, I could kiss you!

To the OP: Enjoy your son! There are so many fun things you will think of to do together, that you won't be able to fit them all in!!

I love this age, I have a son who is 4 1/2 right now. He enjoys numbers a lot and likes to play math games with his 7 year old brother that they make up together (just started doing this more this week). He and I sat at the table and he did a number matching game and we really enjoyed it. We also like going to the park and he loves me pushing him in the swing; he wants to go "high in the air"! Drawing with markers on a huge pad of paper is top on his list and he is really proud b/c he can write his name (his motivation--entirely-- was to do this so he could go to the library and get his own card and write his name on the back!) He is ahead in that area simply b/c his older brother and Dad showed him. Jumping on the trampoline and playing with his uncles are also high on his list. He likes to be read to, but enjoys stories on robertmunsch.com and CDs more--auditory is big at this age for both my sons.

I do have to say, the most important thing I learned with my first son and still remind myself is to focus on enjoying them in the stage they are at. It's like when they are a baby, and you can't wait until they sleep through the night, wean, eat more solid foods, and then you realize they DID grow up and you miss them being a baby! The time will go by, we don't need to make it go any faster. Instead of finding activities that would suit an older child better, enjoy the things that 4 year old do and enjoy best! The way I think about it is to make memories together--think how lucky we are to be the mother in our children's early memories and that we are creating their childhood alongside them. That is so cool!!

So what do you want your child to remember about their time with you? Baking cookies and getting messy with frosting, laughing? Digging for worms in the backyard? Taking a nature walk and placing all the "treasures" (rocks, pine cones, sticks) your child finds in a special place to show Daddy later?

You'll get a chance to do the 6, 8, 10 year old stuff when that time comes. I know this, because it WAS hard for me to wait until my child could read, draw, sit down for longer than 2 minutes , especially with my first child, but that time will come.

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by greenthumb3

I do have to say, the most important thing I learned with my first son and still remind myself is to focus on enjoying them in the stage they are at. It's like when they are a baby, and you can't wait until they sleep through the night, wean, eat more solid foods, and then you realize they DID grow up and you miss them being a baby! The time will go by, we don't need to make it go any faster. Instead of finding activities that would suit an older child better, enjoy the things that 4 year old do and enjoy best! The way I think about it is to make memories together--think how lucky we are to be the mother in our children's early memories and that we are creating their childhood alongside them. That is so cool!!

So what do you want your child to remember about their time with you? Baking cookies and getting messy with frosting, laughing? Digging for worms in the backyard? Taking a nature walk and placing all the "treasures" (rocks, pine cones, sticks) your child finds in a special place to show Daddy later?

You'll get a chance to do the 6, 8, 10 year old stuff when that time comes. I know this, because it WAS hard for me to wait until my child could read, draw, sit down for longer than 2 minutes , especially with my first child, but that time will come.

Greenthumb, I could kiss you right back!

- Lillian

[NightOwlwithowlet]

OP- My son is seven now and my only real regret is the amount of time I've spent comparing him to other kids. He had a severe speech delay and still has ADHD and some sensory issues.

When he was three, he didn't know his colors, shapes, alphabet, and called all girls "Jane" and all boys "John". Those were his cousins names as in "Mama, you a Jane. Me a John." He refused to speak to anyone besides his dad, his sitter, and I. Luckily, I listened to my gut and didn't send him to special ed pre-K and kept him home with me.

One day, I put a video on about colors (baby bumble bee) and the next day I put a bunch different colored pieces of felt on the floor and called out the names as he jumped on them. Within of a week, he knew all his colors including his secondary colors. I realized it wasn't that he couldn't learn, I just needed to figure how to teach him.

We had the same experience with the alphabet, he memorized the alphabet when he was four. One day we were visiting my friend, her daughter was the same age as my son. She was trying to teach her daughter her ABCs. My son was across the room playing with some legos. She'd ask her daughter to identify the letter and her daughter would randomly guess. My son would look and say, "A, apple." or "P, pig, poo, pea pod." and go back to what he was doing. My friend was getting so frustrated because my SN son could easily do something her typical daughter couldn't. Finally, I asked her why she wanted her daughter to learn the alphabet at 4 years old.

She said because she had learned to read at four. I gently pointed out she never read for pleasure and had often expressed her envy that I loved to read. Then I told her I didn't learn to read until first grade and I read 4-5 books a week. My son can read, at grade level, and so can her daughter at grade level.

My son has caught up to his peers in most areas and is ahead in a few areas and behind in a few areas. He has far in common with other seven years olds, then he is different from them.

[greenthumb3]

Originally Posted by Lillian J

Greenthumb, I could kiss you right back!

- Lillian

hehe, it's another meeting of the mutual appreciation society!