Tips for weaning a preschooler?

[Amyjot]

I have come to the point where I know it's time to wean my 3 1/2 year old daughter. She nurses in the morning, before nap and at bedtime. I am 7 months pregnant and just getting worn out. I'm also dreading how hard it will be on her if she's still nursing when the new baby arrives in a couple of months and she won't be able to necessarily nurse at those times if the baby needs to nurse, is crying, etc. Shamefully, I also don't think I can handle the comments that are sure to come from my mother in law and mother if they come to help with the new baby and I'm still nursing my daughter. My MIL didn't nurse her children and hasn't been supportive of my DD nursing beyond the first year. My husband, who has been nothing but supportive until now, admitted to me the other day that he doesn't think DD needs to still be nursing at 3 1/2.

So my plan is to stop the nursing before naptime next week and try to get her to fall asleep for the nap on her own (I know this may mean she stops napping altogether, sigh). She and I have talked about how this is going to happen and she seems fine with it. It's the other two times a day that I'm dreading weaning her from, especially in the morning when she crawls into bed with us. She nurses for a long time on each side in the mornings, and gets very upset if I ask her to stop early. Any tips or advice on how to approach this/get through it?

[taralv]

I found with my older two children that when I was done - truly done and had no misgivings - I could set the limit and they accepted it. Because I weaned them when they were at the age where they could understand what we were talking about (3 and 2yrs 9 mo), I felt that once I told them, "after this date, we won't nurse anymore" they would be fine. I did that with the intention of being flexible if there was a catastrophic backlash, but both did fine. If they said anything about wanting to nurse or missing nursing, we talked about it and I told them, gently, that now they were big kids and they drank milk from a cup (feel free to change any of that around, it was just what I chose to say). My youngest is about to turn 2, and I've not yet thought about weaning, but I am starting to set more limits with her. I know that when I lovingly but firmly say, "no we won't nurse right now" I get a different reaction from when I feel guilty and try the "how about a snack?" method. So, hope this helps. Good luck.

Tara

[pbjmama]

I think dropping one at a time is smart. My preschooler was not all the way ready to wean but I did wean him at about 3.5, I had been tandem for a year plus. We did cuddles and such instead. Lots of distraction too. I did an extremely slow wean but since you don't have someone else that is always nursing I think it could be done faster.

[Amyjot]

Thanks for the replies! So far the move to drinking milk from a cup and reading extra stories at naptime is going very well. I think that I'll be able to work out some other routine at bedtime that she'll easily accept as well. The morning snuggle is going to be a challenge for sure, though.

I did start setting more limits with her over time and found it worked well. Since I've been pregnant I've limited her to just morning/nap/bedtime and she accepted it fairly easily. I think that if I wait to wean until #2 comes along it'll be near impossible when I'm making tonnes of milk again.