How do you HS *and* allow for your emotional downtime?

[littlelessons]

I'm drawn to HSing. I really feel like my LOs would benefit and as they approach school age I think about it more and more.

But one of my biggest reservations? Not only am I generally an introvert but I deal with depression. There are regular periods when the break that comes from preschool now is welcomed (and I'd almost say NEEDED) by me. I find I am able to recharge and be more present, more available and more patient when I have some time to myself. And I don't mean so I can shop or watch TV or play on the computer (not that there is anything wrong with those intrinsically), but when everyone is gone I can sort of slip inside of myself and rest. When I have space and quiet I can keep myself together better for when life is loud and crazy and wonderful with everyone here.

I really wrestle with this because the two options seem at odds: time to myself to recharge and organize my emotions when I hit a bad spell *OR* HS the kids so we can all benefit from HSing and all that it entails. Can I do both??

There are many other aspects I'm weighing for the HS decision but this is one I haven't seen addressed on the typical "Should I homeschool?" FAQs.

[SagMom]

Originally Posted by littlelessons

I find I am able to recharge and be more present, more available and more patient when I have some time to myself.

Time to yourself gets easier to find as they get older. I used to make a point of waking before my little ones got up so that I could have some "me" time every day. As they got older and more self-sufficient, it became easier to grab some time during the day while they were engaged in their various activities. When they began to take classes and do outside activities that didn't require my involvement, I'd bring a book, or my knitting, or just use the time to chat with friends and re-charge.

I'm not sure how old your kids are now, but could you could arrange time through playdates, or through the use of a mother's helper or sitter?

[elizawill]

i don't know how others do it, but for myself, i get up before my children. i'm an earlybird by nature - so this works well for me. i have an hour or 2 drinking coffee alone before i even see my kids. secondly, i impose a bedtime. i know that's not incredibly popular with some MDC mamas, but it is the only time i get to be alone with my dh & i totally value that time (and NEED it). they don't have to sleep, but they have to leave me alone lastly, as my kids are becoming older, they are much more self sufficient. i can easily chillax while they play in their room or whatever. anyway - this is what works for me. hth.

[laehmichal]

Originally Posted by elizawill

i don't know how others do it, but for myself, i get up before my children. i'm an earlybird by nature - so this works well for me. i have an hour or 2 drinking coffee alone before i even see my kids. secondly, i impose a bedtime. i know that's not incredibly popular with some MDC mamas, but it is the only time i get to be alone with my dh & i totally value that time (and NEED it). they don't have to sleep, but they have to leave me alone lastly, as my kids are becoming older, they are much more self sufficient. i can easily chillax while they play in their room or whatever. anyway - this is what works for me. hth.

This is how we work as well. I have had issues with depression as well, and I know what not getting that 'downtime' can do to me. One of the reasons I love homeschooling is that, if I need to, we can take a day off when WE need it. I also was a homeschooler, and know that if my kids have inherited any of my temperament, they too will need alone time. School itself was stressful for me, b/4 I started homeschooling and could go at my own pace. Morning is also really good for quiet time, I find. It's a little adjusting at first, but I feel prepared if I have time to myself before the day starts and the kids wake up. Lastly, you could always give it a test run, and if you can't seem to find a structure that works for you, you can start investigating schools. It won't hurt to change your mind! It's all finding what works best for your family. Good luck!!!

[jlpumkin]

I am right there with you and the need for downtime!! DH had surgery last week and has been right by my side for the last 5 days... I too really need the downtime and am ready to loose my cool ~ well maybe not it is bedtime However during a normal week, I find that I am more able to find a balance. We typically complete our structured activities before lunch daily. After lunch my littles move outside. I leave my door open so I can hear them play but this feels like alone time to me. After an hour or two of running and playing they are ready for some down time as well. So they come in and move to their separate rooms for quiet reading/napping. This lasts until either the youngest wakes or about an hour - whichever comes first. In the end I have a 2 - 3 hour break from excessive stimulation to work on household chores, school prep & hobbies - or surf MDC It took some experimenting to fall into this routine. My guess is that after some experimentation you'll find something that works for you too =)

[LovemyBoo]

I, also, enforce a bedtime. They are not required to sleep, but they must be in their rooms and quiet. I stay up late so this gives me 2-4 hours at night to myself. This is the only time I have to myself and I really need it.

[kittywitty]

This is something important to me, too. I am very much an introvert and my kids were easier when they were younger b/c they napped and played nicely together. Now that they are older ( my 5, 7 and 8 yo) it's constant fighting and insanity. So I need more alone time than I ever needed before. We tried to do no bedtimes, but it's not working. I get NO alone time and it's killing me. I need that time. I don't make them sleep, but they do have to be in their rooms.

OP, you may want to track your daily life and keep track of your emotions and stress through the day to help you find out the best times for you to designate as nap/sleep/play outside times to get you alone time at the right times and make it consistent.

[Whistler]

I'm an extrovert but I still need some time to rest from demanding kids every day. Right now I get it in the afternoon while the boys nap and DD does some quiet time reading or on the computer doing independent stuff like Starfall or Reading Eggs. While the baby is tiny, I don't get enough "me" time and I'm going a little but crazy, but I know it's only for a season.

[Momma Aimee]

we are planning to homeschool and starting with the basics now.

i deal with depression, but i find that if i keep us structures and GOING then my depression is less ... an object at motion, an object at rest

We impose a bedtime (7pm).

I pesonally feel the benifits to the boys far outweigh any struggles i might have with "me time" for a while.

as others say -- when they are older i will agian have more peaceful time -- untill then .. they are little, they need to come first -- be it in my choces to wean or not wean, or in homeschool or not ....

in the end i am an adult, i can catch my time where i can, and i can hold off .. their needs are more immediate and really -- the benfits of homeschooling are much bigger and longer lasting than the benfits of my 'regrouping time"/

On bad day -- we take a drive and i let them watch a movie.

I am a grwon up, i can find ways to meet my needs, but the boys needs are much more fundemtal and NOW.

JMO

But short of a horrible illness (cancer or the like) .. or something big like that .. i feel the benfits to the boys outweight my short time needs.

[mamasaurus]

I don't struggle with depression, but I really do need time to myself each and every day. I get that time in different ways:

1. Get up before the kids - at least 30 minutes. Or...

2. Now that the kids are older, I can continue sleeping when they get up. They know what they can/cannot do around the house, and I get an extra 30-45 minutes of sleep. That helps on some days when I need the sleep as my "me" time.

3. Family Quiet Time - Every single day, we have a family quiet time. This is where naps used to be when they were babies/toddlers. Every afternoon, we have at least 30 minutes of family quiet time where each member of the family needs to find something quiet to do on their own, not bothering anyone else in the family.

4. Bedtime. It's 8pm around here. Mom is not available after 8pm.

5. Occasional babysitters. If I had family here, I would swap kids with my sister, but since they live 5000 miles away, we use babysitters. You could do swaps with friends, too.

6. Daddy Time. Sometimes when I just can't hack it anymore, Dad gets called in to relieve me.

All of this helps. I don't do all of it each day, but throughout a week it all helps.