letting them grow up...

[Vaquitita]

a new situation has developed in our house and i'm feeling sad about it. i have a 4yo and a 2yo and for a long time our bedtime routine was pj's, story, lights out, i'd nurse 2yo and 4yo would cuddle on my other side (once asleep he'd be moved to a toddler bed near our bed, 2yo stays in our bed all night), i'd lay there till they or all of us were asleep. lately my 2yo has not been falling asleep while nursing, and would lay there talking and playing for an hour or more before falling asleep. well, i got up one night after 10 minutes of her talking thinking my being gone would make her realize how tired she was, she'd cry a bit, i'd go back in there and she'd go to sleep. that's how its gone every time she's had a spurt of trouble going to sleep in the past. instead she konked out within 5 minutes, no crying. and this has been repeated almost every night for the past couple weeks. sometimes 4yo is asleep before i leave, sometimes not. and they both just fall asleep quietly and quickly. without me! some nights i've been tempted to just lay there anyway, like before. but it's frustrating with her talking/singing/etc. i can't fall asleep. and my presence seems to keep her awake.

part of me is thrilled, hey i could have some time in the evening after they're in bed without staying up late! but part of me is sad. dd may be my last baby (unless i can persuade dh otherwise) and i hate to see her leave babyhood behind. dh is also pushing for moving the two of them into their own bed across the hall. so that is contributing to my sadness of the whole situation. to go from co sleeping to having no babies in my bed? how will i sleep? i love my dh, but it is NOT the same. i know he has looked forward to having our bed back for quite some time. but not me. i love snuggling with my kiddos.

[paulamc]

I'm not anywhere near there yet with a 13.5 month old, but I can completely imagine how you're feeling. DS nurses to sleep, then I have time downstairs to myself. I just love rejoining him in bed every evening! Especially now that he's started to be a bit cuddly.

It used to be that I would nurse him and he'd roll away and go to sleep, and we'd be physically apart unless we were nursing in the night. Now in the middle of the night he'll decide to cuddle up with me, or partly on TOP of me, and it's so nice!

Maybe you could have a second bigish bed in your bedroom. Your kiddos could sleep there, and when you want, you could get in bed with them for a cuddle. Would your DH go for something like that?

[lisavark]

Vaquitita, thank you. My 20 month old DD has NEVER slept all night (read: never slept 5 hours straight), and, well, sometimes I get so frustrated and sleep deprived that I just hate everything about cosleeping. Lately we've been trying to nightwean with pretty much no success at all, but I have had a few hours here and there of sleeping WITHOUT a baby attached to me, and it's made me realize that someday, when I'm in the place where you are now (maybe ten years from now?!?), I will also have a hard time sleeping without a baby in my bed. DH doesn't like to cuddle like DD and I do.

So you made me feel better about my ever-waking ever-nursing baby...thanks!