You know you're 38+ weeks pregnant when...

[greenthumb3]

you can't lift your foot to put on or take off your pants/shoes (ligaments not cooperating!)

when you walk, you waddle and it feels like the baby is going to drop out!

you feel like locking yourself in a room b/c everyone is annoying.

you are tired of cleaning everything in sight but worried if you stop the baby will be born into a house in chaos.

it feels like the last 2 weeks are taking longer to get through than the first 38!

anytime you see a baby, you want to pluck it out of its mothers arms and rock him.

That's all I got for now...

Anyone else??

[Tattooed Hand]

Rolling over in bed is an Olympic sport.

[notjustmamie]

All you want to do is sleep, but when night falls, you either have insomnia or you can't get comfortable long enough without having to get up to pee.

Someone you've never met is bruising your ribs/pelvis/internal organs, but instead of getting angry, you can't wait to cuddle him.

You wonder if you have enough time to make 40 prefolds and covers in the next two weeks because you suddenly decided that you might want to CD.

Catching sight of your belly in the mirror as you're brushing your teeth causes you to wake up DH and ask if you're fatter than yesterday.

[Youngfrankenstein]

Most of the above!

Can't breathe while eating...

Can't reach soup bowl on table...

Can't recline (can't breathe)...

Constant congestion...

Get sick of everyone asking if you're in labor any time they call YOU!

[shakenbake]

you get sick of trying to think Every pain is a labor one!

[Tattooed Hand]

You've outgrown most of your maternity clothes and get to feel frumpy and mismatched just when you need to not feel that way because you're a lumbering whale.

[ruemomma]

amen to that tatooed hand :
I was going to say when your maternity shirts no longer cover your maternity panel on your jeans...at all!
oh , and you are DTD, and you call it a just business cause you are so ready to have this babe

[ladyleah]

First time momma here.....at 38 weeks and 2 days preggo

When you finally understand why people are so ready and anxious to give birth right when they hit 40 weeks (or before)....when weeks ago you were thinking, this isn't so bad--- what's the rush!?!?!?!

As of a week ago I am the proud owner of some serious piriformis pain in my left a$$ cheek after having a virtually pain and symptom free pregnancy.

I get it now!! I promise!

[greenthumb3]

Originally Posted by ruemomma

amen to that tatooed hand :
I was going to say when your maternity shirts no longer cover your maternity panel on your jeans...at all!

I am calling this phenomenon the "nine month gap".

Loving this commiseration, everyone!!! So true, so true!!

[baby.fatty]

when you can no longer bring yourself to cook anything... and you know if you go out to eat you won't fit into the booth.

[penguintattoo]

Every time you call home the first questions is are you in labor(cause that doesn't get old)

Your boyfriend tells you that you look like a turtle when you try to get up after laying down.

Your up at 1am for no reason other than you know you won't be able to sleep when you go to bed so why try.

[beebalmmama]

Not to even mention shirts not covering your belly anymore, but they all have stains from continually dropping and splashing food on your belly.

[ladyleah]

Originally Posted by Tattooed Hand

Rolling over in bed is an Olympic sport.

Was laughing about this in the middle of the night last night. I was thinking that going to the bathroom in the middle fo the night (about 8 times, of course) is an Olympic sport...I could just hear the announcer:

"You can see her concentration as she prepares to release the Snoogle and roll to her left side....and she does it!!! Not flawless, but she didn't get stuck 1/2 way through....! And now the leg swing sit up rotation......again- she does it!!!! And finally the dismount to standing position..........YES! She has made it and her feet are touching the floor....and she is STANDING up!!!! The crowd goes WILD!!!!"

All in all (out of 10 points):

Snoogle release and roll: 5.5
Leg swing and sit up: 7
Dismount from bed: 8

Total Score: 6.8!!!!!!

[JohannaInDairyland]

When putting on pantyhose is slapstick comedy.

When you reply to the inevitable "When are you due?" with a curt "Thursday."

When you get a pedicure out of necessity because you can no longer reach your own toenails, and they're starting to look like talons.

[Tattooed Hand]

Oh my god, you ladies are so funny!

[jess5377]

Originally Posted by JohannaInDairyland

When putting on pantyhose is slapstick comedy.

I don't know what's more impressive, that you still have the will to wear pantyhose or that you can get them on.


Also, the Olympic Sport analogy killed me. So true.

[Doberbrat]

a couple of days away from 38w but you have to stand at the sink 'just so' if you want to be able to reach enough to wash your hands.

[jilly]

When you have to stand on tip toes to wash the dishes so you can balance your belly on the edge of the sink.

When you don't think, "What will I wear today?" but rather "What is clean that still fits today?"

When you crawl around on your hands and knees to tidy the house so you don't have to either a) get up more than you have to or b) try to bend down to pick things up.

[perditafoster]

Oh, LadyLeah, so true. so true.

How about: you want to smack the eyeteeth out of the next person who says, "She'll come when she's ready!" (helps make you madder if the person says it in a sing-song voice)

[ladyleah]

Originally Posted by perditafoster

How about: you want to smack the eyeteeth out of the next person who says, "She'll come when she's ready!" (helps make you madder if the person says it in a sing-song voice)

Yes-- the sing-song voice makes me feel that a double slap is warranted.

Immediately. LOL