I'm a new mama today.

[becoming]

No more yelling.
No more threatening.
No more guilting.

And this is my thread for accountability.

If anyone wants to join me, please do so!

I originally made an almost identical post about two years ago, and we had a really good thread going for a while, but as all threads do, it eventually died out. I'm hoping we can get it going again, because I am feeling very overwhelmed and frustrated and guilty, and I *really* need the support.

[major_mama11]

I'll join! Yelling, threats, and guilting, sounds just like all the behaviors I have been struggling with in myself lately.

[EviesMom]

I am in too!
I'm also happy for any book suggestions. I have "How to Talk so Kids Will Listen" from the library right now, and something else I can't remember.

I've just gotten so loud and gotten the pissed mom tone way more than I want. I'd like them to be less wild, but I'd also like them to hear in my voice that I love them!

[Krisis]

I'm in. I don't have a problem with guilting as DS isn't old enough to get that, but I suuurely have problems with yelling and threats. Which he also doesn't get, so I'm not sure why I think that will work I'm always hesitant to post details about my parenting though as I had a therapist call CPS on me once

Anyway, I have out from the library "The Explosive Child" and "Raising Your Spirited Child" and "Playful Parenting." Now I just need to find the time to read them in between actually parenting, knitting, and playing our new Wii!

I hope I can be a good mommy tomorrow. I'm up so late because I can't sleep and I worry that it'll make me a grumpster in the morning

[becoming]

Total success this morning with my new attitude! I could NOT get out of bed this morning, so I ended up waking up 12 minutes past the time that I absolutely have to get up in order to get DS1 off to school in time. Instead of panicking, I thought of a quick breakfast he could eat as he got ready, and I very gently urged him to see how fast he could get ready. I never yelled, I never rushed him in a rough way, I never used the word "hurry." And the morning went SO much more smoothly than it would have had I been yelling & fuming the whole time. Why do I think it makes things easier/better to be harsh? It never does. Hopefully this morning was a good lesson in staying calm even when in a rush. Oh, and he was out the door on time, BTW.

[crazylady]

i think this is great! My oldest, 3.5, and I have been struggling with this. I need encouragement and support!! I know that I can do better!

[EviesMom]

We did alright for a bit, but I just yelled at DD as she took a toy from her baby brother and flung it across the room. at myself.

I have to go get us all dressed and out the door, because Monday mornings are the hard-to-get-moving morning and they're starting to bounce off the walls and groan at each other.

[mi.birthdoula]

Mind if I join you ladies too?
We try really hard to be gentle with our kids, but lately I feel like I've been about ready to lose it with them....The girls have been fighting SO bad with eachother EVERYDAY.

[becoming]

So far, so good today. I did speak sharply with my 2-year-old when he pulled out rolls and rolls of Foodsaver bags and unrolled them... but I immediately apologized, and we moved on without incident. No other slip-ups so far today. My 8-year-old comes home in 2 hours, though, and he's my major challenge. I'm girding my loins

[EviesMom]

Hard day all around! I did less yelling, so that's a plus. DD however, did lots more. Moaning at the top of her lungs and kicking the dog! Ugh. She did have a nap, but I have to come up with a new Monday morning plan. I think maybe DH needs to help so we all go get bagels together or something, talk about the week ahead, etc. Then the kids and I will be dressed and ready to go and out of the house at least, and from there we can decide library or park or grocery store first.

[triscuitsmom]

I need this... Between hormonal imbalances and a medically fragile baby once you add my three year old into the mix I'm a mess these days... and I hate how I'm treating him.

Some accountability would be good...

[becoming]

Had a little bit of breakdown right at the end when everyone was tired and getting ready to go to sleep. We have been ending our days with everyone laying around in the living room watching TV, which is a bad habit for us. I recognized tonight that I get very frustrated if I'm trying to hear the TV and miss something "important" because of my kids being loud, so the solution is to wait until after the kids are asleep to watch anything important to me. I also have a problem with being very short/borderline mean if I fall asleep before the kids and then one of them wakes me up to ask/tell me something. It's like I have no sense for a few minutes and can't remember to be nice. I have to start trying harder to stay awake in the evenings until the kids are asleep. A regular bedtime for all of them would be nice but is probably highly unrealistic at this point, especially with my 2-year-old who is still co-sleeping.

[Krisis]

I yelled pretty meanly at Toby this morning when he was fighting a diaper change. I hate when he fights me, it's not like I can't change him and it's not like I enjoy cleaning poop off his butt. If he doesn't struggle it wouldn't take so long but he never just lies still GRR.

But other than that, I did pretty good today

[crazylady]

Bad day here! Need to remind myself that tomorrow is another day! Keep up the good work ladies!

[Moonchild77]

[QUOTEi think this is great! My oldest, 3.5, and I have been struggling with this. I need encouragement and support!! I know that I can do better! ][/QUOTE]

As if I said this

I really need to be a better mom, to myself and my 3.5 y old son.

I do have issues ( I have GAD and take Zoloft, but my therapist stopped working at home, so I am not in any kind of therapy, I do miss my soundingboard (is that a word in English????)....

I do not want my kid to grow up thinking yelling, threatening and even hitting is okay....

[triscuitsmom]

We've had another struggle filled day today. I feel so hopeless... when he was younger I vowed I would *never* treat him the way I was treated and I did so well even through really stressful times. But then I slipped once... and now it's a pattern that I can't seem to break

One of my biggest triggers in our day is nursing. I have full on nursing aversion with him (the 3 year old). I am full out angry many of our nursing sessions. It's awful. I was fully committed to CLW but the thought of another year or more of this makes me want to break down and sob... It's only with him, nursing his younger brother is fine.

I'm recommitting to having a good rest of our day. He's sleeping now but should be up soon. I want us to enjoy the rest of our day.

[maggiemae]

Originally Posted by triscuitsmom

We've had another struggle filled day today. I feel so hopeless... when he was younger I vowed I would *never* treat him the way I was treated and I did so well even through really stressful times. But then I slipped once... and now it's a pattern that I can't seem to break

One of my biggest triggers in our day is nursing. I have full on nursing aversion with him (the 3 year old). I am full out angry many of our nursing sessions. It's awful. I was fully committed to CLW but the thought of another year or more of this makes me want to break down and sob... It's only with him, nursing his younger brother is fine.

I'm recommitting to having a good rest of our day. He's sleeping now but should be up soon. I want us to enjoy the rest of our day.

I am not trying to get you to wean, but I have felt things very similar. When my first DS was about 15 months and I was pregnant again, I had the thought of throwing him across the room while I was nursing. I knew right then that I HAD to wean or I was afraid I might hurt him (through words/moods and my body tension- not actually physically). My thoughts are with you.

[Cujobunny]

Originally Posted by becoming

No more yelling.
No more threatening.
No more guilting.

And this is my thread for accountability.

If anyone wants to join me, please do so!

I originally made an almost identical post about two years ago, and we had a really good thread going for a while, but as all threads do, it eventually died out. I'm hoping we can get it going again, because I am feeling very overwhelmed and frustrated and guilty, and I *really* need the support.

I remember the original thread. It helped me immensely. So much so that I recommend to many people to do a daily affirmation when they are going through a rough patch. I look at myself in the mirror and say something along the first few lines you have posted here or whatever it is you want to be.

TODAY I WILL BE PATIENT.
TODAY WE WILL HAVE FUN.
TODAY I WILL NOT YELL.
I AM A GOOD MOTHER.

[Krisis]

Originally Posted by triscuitsmom

We've had another struggle filled day today. I feel so hopeless... when he was younger I vowed I would *never* treat him the way I was treated and I did so well even through really stressful times. But then I slipped once... and now it's a pattern that I can't seem to break

Me too. (Also, yay for Tobiases!) I hate treating Toby this way. Today we did okay, but I did snap at him for whining and then when I was trying to hurry us downstairs he was going so slow so I took his hand and was trying to get him to hurry and we both fell down the whole flight of stairs. Popcorn everywhere (I was carrying a bowl of it). Toby was fine, just scared, but my leg hurts. Waaah.

I just wish parenting and patience would come easily to me. I love the little beastie but I'm not very good at showing it

[mi.birthdoula]

Yesterday wasn't such a hot day...Went to have family pics with my mom/dad/little brother and Lara was NOT having anything to do with it. She just wanted to cry, literally cry. I tried to remain calm and just let her sit out, but then she started screaming hysterically, so I kind of lost it then. I spoke pretty harshly to her. After we got done, I apologized to her, and then she apologized for throwing a fit (without being asked) and then proceeded to ask to have her pic taken. so we took a few more.

Today has been good. No problems getting her off to school or anything! Hopefully the rest of the day goes as well.