Mothering › Forums › Parenting › Gentle Discipline › I'm a new mama today.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

I'm a new mama today. - Page 4

post #61 of 70
1/19/10 at 3:38am
I'm TOTALLY IN! I'm horrible with the yelling.
Reply
Reply
post #62 of 70
1/19/10 at 11:39am
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamalink4 View Post
Hi mama's. I am so happy to have stumbled upon this thread, yelling and threatening is a Big thing in my house. It's horrible and most days it's embarrassing. I want it to go away and be a nice household that can use words to communicate and not scream and yell at each other. There is 5 kids and 2 adults in this house daily and that in itself is a bunch of noise, but when you add in two parents who have a hard time controlling aggravation, its almost unbearable. I am going to start my day tomorrow with "I will be more patient". Lets hope for a good day tomorrow.
Oh I could have written these exact words myself, but we have 4 kids instead of 5! SO glad to have found this thread, because I need all the support I can get in this area! Sometimes when I think about my behavior when things get stressful around here it makes me want to cry.
I want to be the kind of mama my kids deserve!
Reply
Reply
post #63 of 70
1/19/10 at 3:18pm
I'm in yelling is a big one for me, I also threaten sometimes too.
Reply
Reply
post #64 of 70
1/20/10 at 3:38am
WOW. I used to think mantra things like this were well, a little hokey....but this one WORKS. It got me through a trip to the grocery store where they were making a scene in the checkout while I was trying to pay. (rocking and banging one of those lovely car carts.)

I might have taken it a little far by immediately taking away the trip to the library.....but later I thought no, what they were doing could have caused a trip to the ER. (cart could've tipped over causing BOTH to fall out--babe was home with gma) And they were warned, and they did it again. On top of being reminded when we first entered the checkout line that they'd done great and now needed to just stay quiet and wait while I paid.

I did not yell. I did not threaten--I don't consider informing them they've lost a privilege a threat....

The only thing I wonder about is I think I took away their ENTIRE incentive to behave...we also had a short stop at the health food store before proceeding to the library, I think it would've given them some incentive to change things if I'd started by taking away the usual "treat" at the HFS. But...I think this is another thread so I'll stop.
Reply
Reply
post #65 of 70
1/20/10 at 7:18pm
Yelling is hard for me because I'm normally soft spoken and it seems so out of character :/
Reply
Reply
post #66 of 70
1/21/10 at 3:28am
Although we were so incredibly busy, and even though DD1 took off on me and went missing for 20 minutes in the clothing section of a huge dept store (with security cameras looking for her, staff, even other customers)...I didn't lose it today.

Today what kept going through my head was "break down to break through" and last night DD1 and I had that. I was exhausted yesterday...she called me idiot at least twenty times and hit me almost as many times. I probably nagged her all day and after all of that just really wasn't feeling much sympathy for her. I thought after all day of telling me how horrible I was she'd love to do bedtime with daddy. Then something weird happened. She BEGGED to see me, was distraught, she wanted mommy...at first I thought I'd let DH deal with it and not try to rescue. Then something happened...I just went in and rocked her to sleep like I would have when she was just a babe. I think she finally had her breakdown and all of her anger at me since having DD2 5 months ago she just let it all out. She just needs me. She just wants her mommy. We both bawled together last night, I can't explain it. I just didn't feel like yelling at her today. I said the mantra many times but I was able to actually stop and think before reacting.

Just wanted to share. Today was a good day. We even did bedtime together again tonight and she went down easy.
Reply
Reply
post #67 of 70
1/21/10 at 9:44am
This is a great thread. I'm so in. I'll read more later--I have two more pages to read!
Reply
Reply
post #68 of 70
1/22/10 at 10:53am
Lately its been touch and go. The yelling has gotten a bit better for us, but now if only I could get my 2 yo to stop screaming and hitting me without resorting to a demonstration of how it feels, any ideas ladies? Tried explaining that it hurts and he only laughes and runs off, to repeat it a short time later. Not trying to hijack the thread, if you have ideas you can also pm me! TIA
Reply
Reply
post #69 of 70
1/22/10 at 8:57pm
I too need to work on my yelling. May be reasoning with the child would be more effective. It probably help them to better understand the reasons why they should not do so on so and the consequences.
Reply
Reply
post #70 of 70
1/23/10 at 3:09am
Pah. Reasoning doesn't work all that well here, but I am talking with a 3 yr old in the throes of a tantrum...

I find doing bedtime with especially my 3 yr old helps us connect too. And I started something today I hope I can stick with as a routine. before I had 2 babies in 22 months' time, I read with DS a LOT.

Now, he is 5 and reading. Not in school yet, but he reads. We all sat down and he and I took turns reading. We need to work a little, DD little control-boss-woman that she is was insisting on wanting to hold the book. But then we couldn't all see, cause I was in the middle. hmmmm
Reply
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Gentle Discipline
Mothering › Forums › Parenting › Gentle Discipline › I'm a new mama today.