Has anyone done a weaning party?

[BreezyMom]

I never wanted to do a cold turkey weaning, but I'm seriously at my wit's end My DD will be 5 in March and I've been trying to gently wean her for about 2 years. She was almost weaned when my milk dried up when I was pregnant, but when the milk can back when her sister was born 16 months ago, she started nursing again. She generally nurses 2X's a day, but asks every time her sister nurses.

Nursing has always been an important part of our relationship and I don't want it to end on a bad note. I'm usually frustrated when I nurse DD lately and I'm sure she knows it.

Another big issue is that DD won't hardly eat anything because she's almost always holding out to see if she can nurse instead. It's become an issue at her early five class because she frequentle doesn't eat enough to make it through the 3 hour class.

So, I've told her that I'm going to help her learn how to be an even bigger girl and that we're not going to have any more "drinks" after her fifth birthday. I'm hoping to have a big girl weaning party. I've been so committed to nursing, I feel horrible doing this, but it seems like I've tried everything else for the last 2 years.

Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. Thanks!

[Thinking Mama]

Hi Mama. I'm very sympathetic re: not wanting to end nursing on a bad note. And kudos to you for nursing so long. What a wonderful gift you've given your child. I think you're wise to attend to your own limits and needs because if you're over-extended and resentful, you'll be unhappy, and that's not good for anyone in the family!

A couple of ideas, and obviously, you know your daughter best, and therefore what's likely to work best for the two of you. One idea is to move from two nursings per day to one nursing, and then cut that back to every other day, every third day, etc. And, if eating table foods is a problem b/c she's holding out for mama's milk, you could make the nursing date contingent on eating a healthy meal first. I like the idea of a weaning date that you work up to together, and your daughter can even make suggestions of how to work up to it.

My experience with weaning parties of any kind is that they don't succeed. The kids typically love the idea of the party, but they don't think about cause and effect the way adults do, and so they're surprised when, after the party, they're expected NOT to nurse or use the binky, or poop in the diaper, etc. anymore. Stories I've heard have all ended the same way: the party goes great, and then there's a big meltdown when reality hits. It's better, in my view, to bump up against reality, have your struggle with it, and THEN celebrate once you've successfully made a change. Weaning parties seem to put the cart before the horse, and end in a bunch of negativity, even though the intent is to promote a positive spin on change.

[BreezyMom]

Thanks for the help. I kind of already knew that a weaning party probably wouldn't work. We'll try to gradually work towards her 5th b-day. She's a great kid, but some days, like yesterday, I just get frustrated. I'm glad we've had such a great nursing relationship.

[Thinking Mama]

I hear you. I'm 14 weeks preg and nursing my 18 month old. Mostly, he only wants to nurse at night, but my nipples are sore and sometimes I can't wait for him to latch off! At the same time, like you, I'm grateful for the nursing relationship, and the comfort he finds in it.

[ssh]

We're not having a weaning party. I feel it would make my DD feel weird about not wanting milk anymore. We never talked about weaning and I never limited at all. My DD just stopped drinking milk about 3 months before turning 4. She would latch on then smile and say all done. She continued nursing for a couple of more months but it would last literally seconds. I kinda feel that never talking about 'giving up' nursing made it just something she didn't want/need any more. I think that may have made it easier for her. The abruptness kind of surprised me and I've got mixed feelings about facing this years cold and flu season without DD having the antibodies in my breastmilk.

We did have a 'big girl' party this summer after she started using the toilet. We waited until she'd been using it for a full week. And we were so happy to be a diaper free house.