A few months ago my mother was all set to come visit at Christmas (without asking) which is only 2 weeks after my due date. I told her that New Year might be better so we could have some time to adjust especially if baby is late. She was taken aback at first, but then said that January would be fine. In September, we all find out my sister is expecting her first baby in late April. I knew this would change some things including how excited my parents would be for our baby to arrive versus my sister's baby. I wasn't really jealous at first because my sister has always been my mother's favorite. I expected my mom to be more excited about my sister's first born. However, I didn't expect it to change whether my parents wanted to come visit us at all.
Yesterday while talking to my mother, I asked her when she thought she and my father would come after the baby is born so I can tell DH's parents when they can come. My mom says she doesn't know now. She only gets 4 weeks of vacation a year, and she is thinking of using some of it for when my sister has her baby after which she and my dad may be taking a vacation to Australia. She says my sister will need more help. WTH? First of all my parents live 15-20 minutes from my sister. Actually most of the family does. They all see my sister and her husband every weekend. Not to mention my mother often gets home from work at 3pm so she can spend all afternoon "helping" my sister if she wanted to. Plus my BIL is a teacher and will have 3 months off starting a few weeks after their due date. My sister's in-laws also live only 5 minutes away and they have a really close relationship. They are more than eager to "help" her out.
I on the other hand have a hot/cold relationship with my in-laws, live hundreds of miles away, only see my family a couple of times a year, have 2 other children and very little help post partum. Of course chances are very good that when my mother goes to "help" my sister, she will actually be helpful instead of a hinderance like when she visits us.
It really irks me that whenever my parents need help with anything (i.e. translations, resolving issues with my siblings, documents, writing resumes, etc...) they always come to me first because they know I'm the responsible sucker. I love my sister to death, but she often acts like a spoiled unappreciative brat. Yet she is the one that always gets doted on. During our whole conversation yesterday after I am told they probably won't come to see the new baby, my mother keeps going on and on about how much baby shopping she is doing for my sister's baby. My sister is about 16 weeks along. I am over 37 weeks and not once during my whole pregnancy did my mother ask me if I needed anything for the baby despite me mentioning on several occasions that we have nothing left from DS1 and DD so we would have to start from scratch. My sister and BIL both work and their combined income is much more than our single income. They can afford whatever they want for their baby themselves. Aside from that BIL's family is loaded and they will likely be getting tons of baby gifts from his side of the family.
I'm used to this kind of treatment, but I feel bad for our kids. Until now they have always been the center of their grandparents' world. I know that after my sister's baby is born they will become second class citizens. They will reach an age soon when they will recognize this blatant favoritism and it breaks my heart.
Yesterday while talking to my mother, I asked her when she thought she and my father would come after the baby is born so I can tell DH's parents when they can come. My mom says she doesn't know now. She only gets 4 weeks of vacation a year, and she is thinking of using some of it for when my sister has her baby after which she and my dad may be taking a vacation to Australia. She says my sister will need more help. WTH? First of all my parents live 15-20 minutes from my sister. Actually most of the family does. They all see my sister and her husband every weekend. Not to mention my mother often gets home from work at 3pm so she can spend all afternoon "helping" my sister if she wanted to. Plus my BIL is a teacher and will have 3 months off starting a few weeks after their due date. My sister's in-laws also live only 5 minutes away and they have a really close relationship. They are more than eager to "help" her out.
I on the other hand have a hot/cold relationship with my in-laws, live hundreds of miles away, only see my family a couple of times a year, have 2 other children and very little help post partum. Of course chances are very good that when my mother goes to "help" my sister, she will actually be helpful instead of a hinderance like when she visits us.
It really irks me that whenever my parents need help with anything (i.e. translations, resolving issues with my siblings, documents, writing resumes, etc...) they always come to me first because they know I'm the responsible sucker. I love my sister to death, but she often acts like a spoiled unappreciative brat. Yet she is the one that always gets doted on. During our whole conversation yesterday after I am told they probably won't come to see the new baby, my mother keeps going on and on about how much baby shopping she is doing for my sister's baby. My sister is about 16 weeks along. I am over 37 weeks and not once during my whole pregnancy did my mother ask me if I needed anything for the baby despite me mentioning on several occasions that we have nothing left from DS1 and DD so we would have to start from scratch. My sister and BIL both work and their combined income is much more than our single income. They can afford whatever they want for their baby themselves. Aside from that BIL's family is loaded and they will likely be getting tons of baby gifts from his side of the family.
I'm used to this kind of treatment, but I feel bad for our kids. Until now they have always been the center of their grandparents' world. I know that after my sister's baby is born they will become second class citizens. They will reach an age soon when they will recognize this blatant favoritism and it breaks my heart.
) and I'm pregnant with our second baby and I can't even get my parents to visit us more than once a year, let alone call me while not driving somewhere to help her out.... guess I'm the b*tchy older sister who has never asked for dime just some undivided attention for my children and she's the maladjusted middle child, who I don't know, gets everything! ok my rant is over....just wanted to let you know that I can sympathize!
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