Today is my dad's birthday. He died suddenly in March. Several people have suggested I celebrate his birthday anyway or honor him somehow but I just don't feel like it. I just feel very sad and still shocked that he is gone. It feels so strange not to be celebrating with him, kwim? This has been so devastating to our family. My dad was such an anchor for all of us. My step-mother, my sisters, my nieces and nephews, we are all just devastated.
I just keep waiting for memories of him to feel fond, like, "Oh, remember when dad would do this?" with a smile. But I don't feel that way at all. I just feel sad and upset and shocked that he is gone. I can't even have pictures of him up in my house, it just makes me overwhelmed with sadness. My son has pictures in his room, that's fine, I know it helps him remember his grandfather.
What comes to my mind when I think of him being gone is that there's a hole in my heart. A piece of me is gone.
I just keep waiting for memories of him to feel fond, like, "Oh, remember when dad would do this?" with a smile. But I don't feel that way at all. I just feel sad and upset and shocked that he is gone. I can't even have pictures of him up in my house, it just makes me overwhelmed with sadness. My son has pictures in his room, that's fine, I know it helps him remember his grandfather.
What comes to my mind when I think of him being gone is that there's a hole in my heart. A piece of me is gone.
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