Healthcare "professional"

[GinnyMama]

I just can't believe what healthcare "professionals" are allowed to spew at unsuspecting patients. I am so glad I did tons of research (and that DH is intact himself), or I might have changed my mind about circing my son at the hospital.

My ped/OB was very cool about it. He asked if we wanted to circ our son, and I said "nope". And he said "okay, it's not even a recommended practice anymore." And that was that.

But then I had to deal with each and every shift change of nurses asking me about it. One nurse came in and asked incredulously, "you're not circing?" I said no, and she gave me a disgusted, horrified look and said, "And you're sure you know how to take care of that?!" Take care of what? I wouldn't be dealing with an open wound in a diaper. She tried to make it sound incredibly difficult and gross to "take care of" an intact penis.

I feel awful for the other women who didn't know any better. Not to mention their baby boys!

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by GinnyMama

I just can't believe what healthcare "professionals" are allowed to spew at unsuspecting patients. I am so glad I did tons of research (and that DH is intact himself), or I might have changed my mind about circing my son at the hospital.

My ped/OB was very cool about it. He asked if we wanted to circ our son, and I said "nope". And he said "okay, it's not even a recommended practice anymore." And that was that.

But then I had to deal with each and every shift change of nurses asking me about it. One nurse came in and asked incredulously, "you're not circing?" I said no, and she gave me a disgusted, horrified look and said, "And you're sure you know how to take care of that?!" Take care of what? I wouldn't be dealing with an open wound in a diaper. She tried to make it sound incredibly difficult and gross to "take care of" an intact penis.

I feel awful for the other women who didn't know any better. Not to mention their baby boys!

Please write a letter and complain.

[KK Slider]

Someday I hope to become a father, and there's no way I would ever let my wife deliver in a hospital. I have several friends who are nurse midwives, and between their stories (they all insist they will have a homebirth when the time comes, btw) and the things I read on this forum, I could never stand the hospital experience. Nurses and doctors trying to mutilate my son against his (and my) will? I would flip out!

EDIT: People have pointed out that I used a very poor word choice. I meant to say "Someday in the future, when the topic comes up, I will express a strong bias against a hospital birth when discussing it."

[GreenGranolaMama]

The same thing happened to us...I got SO fed up with the nurses asking about it over and over again, I wrote in HUGE letters on the white board in our room "NO CIRC!" Got our message across loud and clear.

[GinnyMama]

Originally Posted by KK Slider

Someday I hope to become a father, and there's no way I would ever let my wife deliver in a hospital. I have several friends who are nurse midwives, and between their stories (they all insist they will have a homebirth when the time comes, btw) and the things I read on this forum, I could never stand the hospital experience. Nurses and doctors trying to mutilate my son against his (and my) will? I would flip out!

I was actually having an unassisted VBAC. I laboured at home for two days and was in transition for 16 hours before my uterus ruptured and I had to have a c-section. I definitely appreciate a man who feels he would never let his wife deliver in a hospital, but the unthinkable sometimes happens. It's infuriating, but having a plan to deal with these nurses and doctors is essential, in case you are one of the few who NEED the hospital.

[TCMoulton]

Originally Posted by KK Slider

Someday I hope to become a father, and there's no way I would ever let my wife deliver in a hospital. I have several friends who are nurse midwives, and between their stories (they all insist they will have a homebirth when the time comes, btw) and the things I read on this forum, I could never stand the hospital experience. Nurses and doctors trying to mutilate my son against his (and my) will? I would flip out!

While I can respect your reasoning for wanting your future wife to have a homebirth one day the decision where she births really is not yours to make and I would hope that any father who would take the time to research childbirth would also respect the choices of his pregnant wife as to where she gives birth.

[glongley]

Originally Posted by Fellow Traveler

Please write a letter and complain.

Ditto on writing a letter of complaint! Health professionals need feedback in no uncertain terms to get them to change their attitudes. You may save future expectant parents and their intact boys from these kinds of attitudes and bad advice.

Gillian

[KK Slider]

Originally Posted by TCMoulton

While I can respect your reasoning for wanting your future wife to have a homebirth one day the decision where she births really is not yours to make and I would hope that any father who would take the time to research childbirth would also respect the choices of his pregnant wife as to where she gives birth.

Absolutely, I didn't mean to imply that I would not include my future wife in the decision, I meant to say I'll have an initial bias against a hospital situation. It's just that reading the stories on this board of how downright adamant some nurses/doctors can be to mutilate the kid, it makes my blood turn cold.

[DocsNemesis]

I agree, its not really your place to say NO YOU CANT DELIVER IN A HOSPITAL!! RAWR! (lol)

However, having a husband who wants a homebirth and relays that to his wife is definitely a big boon towards her actually choosing to have one! Most wives have to fight an uphill battle to have one and even more don't even realize its an option.

I also agree that sometimes hospitals are necessary, you just have to be vigilant in some parts of the country to avoid circing. I'm lucky in that I didn't have to deal with that (the circ rate here is pretty low and I haven't had any pushy people-was only asked once both times). But keep that in mind-I too was a homebirth transfer when I developed HELLP at 33 weeks and ended up with a cesarean, a preemie, and a long hospital stay. It happens

[mntnmom]

Originally Posted by KK Slider

Someday I hope to become a father, and there's no way I would ever let my wife deliver in a hospital. I have several friends who are nurse midwives, and between their stories (they all insist they will have a homebirth when the time comes, btw) and the things I read on this forum, I could never stand the hospital experience. Nurses and doctors trying to mutilate my son against his (and my) will? I would flip out!

I love the sentiment, and hopefully you'll marry a woman who feels the same way. But a word of advice, be REALLY careful talking about "letting" your wife do anything!! Especially around here!!
OH, I read a few more and realized someone else already advised you on your comment. :LOL

[SlackerDad]

It's so frustrating to read these kinds of stories. Ideally, I'd like to see elective circ on children too young to consent banned altogether (and I have hopes of seeing that in my lifetime). But as a more moderate, "reasonable" goal, wouldn't it be nice if it were something not mentioned by anyone at the hospital unless a family requested it? Even if they still did them right there without having to schedule a separate appointment, and there was no cost to the parents, etc., I'd have to think the circ rate would be at least somewhat lower without all that pressure. People expect "health care professionals" to be sources of wisdom that they can trust! Ugh.

And of course even though it wouldn't influence any of us, and our sons should presumably be safe if we go the extra mile and write "NO CIRC" everywhere, etc., it's still far from a pleasant thing to have to deal with when we are in the hospital, exhausted, but also feeling joy over our new arrival only to have it spoiled by ignorant, surly nurses like that. It's almost reminiscent of hardcore racism or sexism. Makes my blood boil!

[ThomasL]

I would complain to the nurse manager about that incident but you would need to know the name of the nurse who made those comments. They are not there to be judge and jury. Their job is to provide friendly care and nurses should be fully aware that not everyone circs and they need to respect that. I would have no trouble telling them off if I were to witness that.

[Awaken]

I definitely hope you will write to the nurse manager and higher ups at the hospital. That type of attitude is absolutely inexcusable.

hope you are recovering well from your experience and enjoying your new baby!

[serendipity22]

People who want to share their stories of
being badgered by medical people
might like to look at this page.

(You contribute stories at the bottom)

http://www.circumstitions.com/coerce.html