or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Understanding Circumcision › Can I talk to moms that have both?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Can I talk to moms that have both?

post #1 of 56
Thread Starter 
Okay, I'll go ahead and be upfront...we had our son circ'd. Please don't flame and don't grill me You just need to know that before I ask my question:

If you have both in your family (circ'd and intact) which was easier to take care of? I've read numerous horror stories on here about little boys being forcefully retracted and the scary stories about swelling and pain in intact boys and, to be honest, it scares me. Everyone I know had their boys circ'd so I always have people around to help take care of it...but I don't know ANYONE that has an intact son.


I hope this is an okay thread to have in here...I don't frequent this part of the forum much...but DH and I were talking about TTC in the next 6 months or so and boys seem to make up the majority of his family. So, just in case, I wanted to get some perspective.


Please remove if I'm out of line. Sorry in advance
post #2 of 56
Way easier to care for an intact infant. The key is to NEVER let anyone near his penis.

No one touches it - no problems!
post #3 of 56
Thread Starter 
What about cleaning after a poop? I know I spend half of the wiping time making sure everything is clean under what's left of his foreskin...don't you have to clean out part of the foreskin if it's intact?
post #4 of 56
I only haven an intact son, but no, you don't need to clean out his foreskin at all after a poop... the hardest part for me is making sure there's no bits left in the wrinkles on his scrotum. Just wipe the penis off like a finger, beyond that. the foreskin is FUSED to the head on an intact baby - the same way your fingernail is fused to your finger, so no poo really gets IN there, in my experience...
post #5 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by AFWife View Post
What about cleaning after a poop? I know I spend half of the wiping time making sure everything is clean under what's left of his foreskin...don't you have to clean out part of the foreskin if it's intact?
No, because the foreskin is attached to the head of the penis preventing anything from getting in. That's the function of the foreskin at this stage of development. You don't have to do anything except wipe what is there externally-it's like wiping a finger.
post #6 of 56
Thread Starter 
Another thought: Does anyone have experience explaining why one son is circ'd and the other(s) aren't?
post #7 of 56
I can't really say which one was easier to take care of, since I never "took care" of either one. Really, I just left them alone. No problems either way.
post #8 of 56
i have both and they are both easy to clean just a swipe on both sometimes i dont do anything unless there is poo there.

as for explaining. I say I never wanted to do the other boys either but I was shamed and guilted into it by others and in a vulnerable position. With my last son I stood my ground and decided noone was going to stop me from keeping my son intact no matter what they tried. I also tell people how horrible I feel for letting people guilt me into it with the other two boys.
post #9 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by AFWife View Post
What about cleaning after a poop? I know I spend half of the wiping time making sure everything is clean under what's left of his foreskin...don't you have to clean out part of the foreskin if it's intact?
You make cleaning a circed boy sound scary to me. I just wipe my son's penis. Its really easy. Much easier than my girls.

Also, on the other side of the scary story issue, I've heard scary stories about circed boys with adhesions and circed boys who ended up being recirced for one reason or another. Caring for a boy who has been circed while it is still healing and raw sounds really scary to me. I guess its just what you are used to. But all the stories you hear about how hard it is to care for an intact boy are just not true. Its easy.

I let other people change my son's diaper. I watch and it has never occurred to any of them to touch it in anyway but to wipe. No one ever tries to retract. I'm not saying this doesn't happen. Obviously it does. But it really doesn't take more than telling a person how to do it if you have any doubts about their knowledge.
post #10 of 56
It's really not complicated. You just wipe it like a finger and that's it. As a PP mentioned, the foreskin is typically fused to the head like your finger nail so little if anything gets up there. If it does it gets flushed out the next time he urinates.

As for explaining the difference you can think of it as explaining different hair color or eye color ect. Until he's old enough and if he asks then, you can be more accurate and explain that you thought it was the right thing to do but found out that it wasn't necessary when the younger brother was born. Though it's never as big an issue as adults try to make it.
post #11 of 56
I have both. They are both very simple to clean. They do both have their downsides: My 1st son has been circd and I can see where the knife cut him and it looks jagged. He is fine, but it is a reminder of the pain that I put him through at just one day old. My 2nd is intact. I am nervous about something getting in there, but I just trust that that is how it is supposed to be.
post #12 of 56
Even if poo gets in the tip which is as far as it can go since the rest is fused to the glans and the sphincter at the tip closes down like the anus to prevent anything from getting in there, the next time he urinates it will wash out. If you are really worried you can always hold them over the sink or sit in there and swish things about. But even with very messy explosive bfed poo's I never once had to do that for ds's forskin only his scrotum wrinkles
post #13 of 56
It's harder to clean poo off a scrotum than it is to clean an intact penis. Seriously. All the little tiny folds just accumulate poo. The penis very rarely gets poo on it at all and there's nowhere for it to stick to if it does so it's easy to just wipe off.
post #14 of 56
Thread Starter 
you guys are swaying me to the other side. Seriously. I talked to DH about it last night and as I was going through what y'all had said he stopped me and said, "It's not one of those things that's a big deal to me. It's mostly tradition. My dad was circ'd, I was circ'd, my brothers were circ'd." I said, "So, if we have another son and I'm like 'ehhh let's not' you'd be okay?" and he said, "Yeah, it's not worth fighting over."

So there's a 99% chance our next son will be intact. (I hate to say 100% just because)

Thank you!
post #15 of 56
I only have an intact son (im from England...there really is no other way there ) and im pregnant right now, im kinda worried incse this one is a girl. Cleaning my intact son has been SO SO easy actually cleaning poo off a girl seems pretty scary to me

To be gross, like most babies my son in his time has had some mega MEGA blow outs (like poo up to the belly button and poo up the back ) and ive never, not once had an issue with poo IN his penis...infact the thought just seems weird. The penis has always been the easiest place to get clean.
post #16 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by indie View Post
You make cleaning a circed boy sound scary to me. I just wipe my son's penis. Its really easy. Much easier than my girls.

Also, on the other side of the scary story issue, I've heard scary stories about circed boys with adhesions and circed boys who ended up being recirced for one reason or another. Caring for a boy who has been circed while it is still healing and raw sounds really scary to me. I guess its just what you are used to. But all the stories you hear about how hard it is to care for an intact boy are just not true. Its easy.

I let other people change my son's diaper. I watch and it has never occurred to any of them to touch it in anyway but to wipe. No one ever tries to retract. I'm not saying this doesn't happen. Obviously it does. But it really doesn't take more than telling a person how to do it if you have any doubts about their knowledge.

Agree with the bolded! My DD (2yrs old) has the biggest blow out poopies EVER and cleaning all her little folds is daunting at times.

Like I have posted before: When intact, don't retract. Only clean, what is seen.

And explaining to them when they are older just tell them that with DS1, you did the best you could with the information that you had at the time.
post #17 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by Juvysen View Post
I only haven an intact son, but no, you don't need to clean out his foreskin at all after a poop... the hardest part for me is making sure there's no bits left in the wrinkles on his scrotum. Just wipe the penis off like a finger, beyond that. the foreskin is FUSED to the head on an intact baby - the same way your fingernail is fused to your finger, so no poo really gets IN there, in my experience...
Ditto. You don't need to do anything at all. Wipe like a finger and you're done. No problems.
post #18 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by AFWife View Post
Another thought: Does anyone have experience explaining why one son is circ'd and the other(s) aren't?
Both of my sons, ages 12 and 8, are intact (and never had a problem, never needed "cleaning", etc...)

I however have A LOT of friends who circumcised their 1st son, but not their second. If you don't make a big deal of it, they won't either. If the question comes up from either boy, just say:

"When (first son) was born, we thought circumcision was a good idea because your father was circumcised, and doctors used to believe that circumcision had some health benefits, but when (second son) was born, we learned that circumcision just wasn't necessary, so we decided not to have (second son) circumcised. Just like you know a lot of people with different hair color, skin color, etc...boys have different penises - some boys are circumcised, and some aren't, and either way is fine."
post #19 of 56
We have both, my DH and DS1 are and DS2 is not. It has been the exact same to care for.
post #20 of 56
You know... thinking about it... being circ'd doesn't ensure their penises will look the same either. Some doctors do a loose circ, and leave a lot of foreskin (that can get adhesions or gunk under it, whatever), some do a tight circ... sometimes circ's are botched...

Seems like there's a possibility they're going to "look different" either way being that there's at least one circ involved, no?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Understanding Circumcision
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Understanding Circumcision › Can I talk to moms that have both?