Can I talk to moms that have both? - Page 3

[LaffNowCryLater]

I have one of each and the intact one is way easier. In about 2-3 weeks I will be having my second intact son

[heatherweh]

Care for both is exactly the same (one son circ'd one intact), very minimal. I mean, wipe off any visible poo or maybe wipe if a diaper has been on awhile to get off any ammonia, but really there is nothing special to do for either. The only difference is care of the circumcised penis directly after the procedure of course, when it needed to be cleaned as an open wound. It makes me so sad to think of the pain my first went through and that it could have been prevented if we had only been more informed/proactive about it.

[Frank Koehler]

There are bigger issues are stake here than convenience for the diaper changer. After all, girls without labia are easier to clean, too. The reason is simple: If you cut it off you don't have to clean it. Same would go for ears and toes. The real issue is human rights. He has a right to an intact body that supercedes your "right" to easy childcare.

[BlessedMommy2006]

Originally Posted by Frank Koehler

There are bigger issues are stake here than convenience for the diaper changer. After all, girls without labia are easier to clean, too. The reason is simple: If you cut it off you don't have to clean it. Same would go for ears and toes. The real issue is human rights. He has a right to an intact body that supercedes your "right" to easy childcare.

I agree with that except for one thing: circumcision actually makes care of the penis HARDER, not easier and makes diaper changes HARDER, not easier.

Adhesions, skin bridges, leftover foreskin, meatal ulceration, after surgery care, etc. etc.

[robertandenith]

I don't know how people keep a circ'ed baby clean because I suppose stuff gets into the urethra, yikes!

My boy never had an issue with poop in there, it's soooo easy. Actually, way easier than my girls - NO KIDDING!!

I hope you are able to keep your future sons intact, like the saying: "Two wrong don't make one right." There are MANY mamas like you in this forum, so you are welcome to stick around!

[Plummeting]

Originally Posted by indie

Also, on the other side of the scary story issue, I've heard scary stories about ... circed boys who ended up being recirced for one reason or another.

My cousin's son was circed twice because they did a loose circ the first time and there was "too much" foreskin left, so he looked like he hadn't been circed. His doctor and parents both found that unacceptable, so they did it over.

[Bellabaz]

Just some perspective. I haven't read all the posts and I don't have a son yet. But DH is not circ'd. Actually most men in Europe aren't. The US is probably the only if not one of the only countries that routinely circ with no religious reason. SO that means there are entire countries of men out there who aren't circd. So it can't be that hard or scary to take care of right?

[onlyboys]

This is an interesting discussion.

We have one circed boy and three intact. The discussion happened very early on as my oldest son was 5 years old when his brother was born. The discussion about differences in penises was always gentle and age-appropriate.

This means, of course, that when my oldest son became old enough to understand what a circumcision is, we told him. While I never would want to make him feel somehow not protected or inadequate, I did want to make it clear that the choice that I took away from him is not one he should make for his sons. I was thinking very long term when I told him that I regretted allowing him to be circumcised. I'm very glad I told him and I feel like it's opened up areas of discussion that can be hard to start.

[2xy]

Don't have time to read all the replies, but I don't think apologies are necessary unless the child brings it up himself. Seriously. I think going overboard with apologies could give the kid a complex. "I never realized my penis was ruined...I guess I might be pretty messed up."

[Panserbjorne]

Originally Posted by Plummeting

My cousin's son was circed twice because they did a loose circ the first time and there was "too much" foreskin left, so he looked like he hadn't been circed. His doctor and parents both found that unacceptable, so they did it over.

This is what happened to us, but with NO consent. The issue wasn't even broached. The doc just started cutting again. It was horrifying (to be fair, it was horrifying much before that.) I still get nauseated 7 years later thinking about it. Worst thing I have ever done. I'm pretty clear it will haunt me for the rest of my life. Anyway, I would never EVER do it again.

As far as ease, intact penis' are far easier to care for. And, as an added bonus nothing has been hacked off of your baby.

We have been questioned by our kids as to why they are different. It's never glossed over. We have taken the route of "when ds1 was born we were told it was important to do by the people we trusted. By the time ds2 was born we had been able to find more information and after reviewing it chose not to do it again." We have apologized and said something along the lines of being sorry to have taken that choice away.

It's hard because I very much feel that he got the short end of the stick in many ways at times....but he's a very well adjusted and happy kid despite it all. For that I am thankful, but it's certainly not an argument that they can still turn out okay. I'd never, ever do that to a child again.

[AFWife]

Originally Posted by robertandenith

I hope you are able to keep your future sons intact, like the saying: "Two wrong don't make one right." There are MANY mamas like you in this forum, so you are welcome to stick around!

I'll be honest...I still don't know for sure. I know I started this thread and then kind of phased out. Some of what was said upset me and I'm not sure how to respond........

Yeah...

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by AFWife

I'll be honest...I still don't know for sure. I know I started this thread and then kind of phased out. Some of what was said upset me and I'm not sure how to respond........

Yeah...

I am sorry to hear that you found some of the responses upsetting. That is certainly not our intent and (without knowing which responses you're referring too) I hope you don't take anything personally. Please don't let a difficult response push you away. We really want to be a resource for parents like you but sometimes our "passion" does get in the way.

To reiterate my response 'hygiene' is not problematic in anyway, that is a myth. And truthfully siblings rarely notice or care about such a difference anymore than they might notice or care about hair or eye color.

[bscal]

I've given this a LOT of thought. I had 2 girls and then our son. We had him circ'd because my husband very strongly believed it should be done. My OB did a VERY loose circ on him, which is good in some respects as I hope that should he decide later on to restore it will make it much easier for him. (Really she didn't cut much at all, you can bring all the foreskin up to completely cover the end of his penis.) It's also bad in other respects as we spent 18 months dealing with repeated adhesions. Poor little guy. And it's a total PITA to clean with all those folds of skin in the way.

I'd like to have a 4th child at some point and I've already informed my DH that should we have another son that I will not permit him to be circ'd. I don't want to put another child through the pain of surgery and possible adhesions.

I've learned quite a bit reading this particular board. And I've learned that apparently there are many other mamas/dadas out there that have made the same choice to leave future sons intact.

And yes, once my son has reached an appropriate age we will discuss circumcision and go over why we thought it was the right thing to do at the time and assist him if he's interested in restoration.

Beth

[BlessedMommy2006]

Originally Posted by AFWife

I'll be honest...I still don't know for sure. I know I started this thread and then kind of phased out. Some of what was said upset me and I'm not sure how to respond........

Yeah...

I'm sorry that you were hurt. I'm sure that that wasn't the intent of the posters, but sometimes it's easy to stick the proverbial foot in the mouth when dealing with such a sensitive issue that provokes such strong feelings.

I hope that you stick around.

[Eherrera329]

Originally Posted by Juvysen

I only haven an intact son, but no, you don't need to clean out his foreskin at all after a poop... the hardest part for me is making sure there's no bits left in the wrinkles on his scrotum. Just wipe the penis off like a finger, beyond that. the foreskin is FUSED to the head on an intact baby - the same way your fingernail is fused to your finger, so no poo really gets IN there, in my experience...

^The scrotum is tricky to get all cleaned when he explodes!

[stiss]

Originally Posted by AFWife

I'll be honest...I still don't know for sure. I know I started this thread and then kind of phased out. Some of what was said upset me and I'm not sure how to respond........

Yeah...

Well, I for one think it's amazing that you're trying to keep an open mind, especially when some responses are unhelpful and unnecessarily critical. I'm sure if you weed through the responses, you'll find some parents who have gone through the same thing as you and can offer support. Also, consider using the ignore function when necessary, lol! Good luck!