facebook "friend" comment made me sad...and angry - Page 3

[sunshynbaby]

Originally Posted by Bokonon

That is heartbreaking, but I agree there isn't anything you can do. The mom obviously doesn't feel like she's doing anything wrong, otherwise she wouldn't be posting about it on FB. I would either defriend her or block her status updates so they wouldn't show up in my feed.

[Icehockey18]

Originally Posted by beanma

You know what I would do? I'd "hide" her as a friend so I don't have to read her updates, but she doesn't know that. Then I'd post some links to great Mothering articles and maybe some of James McKenna's sleep studies and "share" them. That way you're not calling her out and getting into it with her, but you're letting her know (via your own status and links) the other side. You'd also be letting all your other friends know, too, so someone else might "share" your link. I guess it's fairly passive agressive, but I wouldn't be getting into it with a woman I hardly know. It might make you feel better and maybe some of your other FB friends will post some positive comments.

I'm pretty non- conf and passive agres. That's what I would do... That way your letting her and others know that your parenting is based on facts and research and instinctual love for your baby not cruely denying your baby mommys love! I really don't understand the 'baby is manipulating you' argument. How advanced do they really think their babies are?!?!

[novaxmomof2]

This sounds so familiar! I got into a heated discussion with my sister-in-law's sister about CIO on Facebook. This girl doesn't have any children of her own but has been a nanny for several families over the years and is a strong advocate of CIO. I said something along the lines of...."you wouldn't leave your aging mother or father in a nursing home where the policy was to leave them alone all night and ignore the on-call button no matter how many times they pushed it so how could you leave a vulnerable baby alone to cry all night long?" It went over like a lead balloon but I hope I at least planted a seed in everybody's minds that perhaps CIO isn't the way to go. I think CIO is child abuse plain and simple.

[LenaC]

Originally Posted by lessmith23

IMO, people have started to treat parenting like weight loss. They want a quick, easy solution, no once wants to put forth any effort anymore.

See, I kind of feel the opposite. Parents try to struggle so much against their child, disregarding baby's natural inclinations. I feel like I'm going with the flow, embracing my baby fully because it's not me against him, it's us, finding what works best for both of us. How could picking up a crying child not feel comfortable and like going with the flow? Do some people not feel the natural inclination to be mothering or is it that they have been told so many times they should do the opposite of what feels right in the moment? I have thought before (I'm not a hardcore APer), that maybe going through a struggle initially might bring about better results, but I totally don't think so anymore. I think any kind of struggle or fighting against brings about bad things, no matter how it looks on the surface even. Child fell asleep, so it must be working, for example.

Oh, and to OP, I actually stopped going over to my friend's house because I felt very uncomfortable with her style of parenting, and it made me feel anxious. I'm not perfect and I don't know everything, but some things definitely feel better than others. Now if I could just apply the same philosophy with my toddler