comment about MW

[Rose-Roget]

So dh tells me tonight that my mom told him we should get a lawyer and sue the mw because my baby broke her clavicle being delivered and the mw did not call for an OB when she discovered Baby was on her side rather than anterior and wouldn't turn. My mom has never been on-board with the whole mw thing, and it's only because she is highly "traditional" and doesn't bother to understand. In our state, midwifery is highly regulated and they can only practice within a hospital setting under strict regulations, so it's not even that alternative or "risky" (as midwifery seems to have a reputation of being). If she ever says anything to me about it, I will be so upset.

What could I tell her to help her understand that, while it's a huge shame Sylvia-Rose has a broken clavicle (that will heal nicely and easily in a couple of weeks), the midwife did nothing wrong and didn't put me or the baby in higher risk than if an OB had been present??

[greenthumb3]

I don't know what you could tell your mom, but I just had a friend over for dinner tonight who is in a nursing program and recently attended a few births in the hospital. She told me of an OB who also had a mother in labor with baby stuck at the shoulders and he ended up pulling the baby in such a way that the clavical broke, AND he gave the Mom a HUGE episiotomy. So, I guess with an OB, same thing could happen, and it could be worse. Betting your midwife handled it better than many other OBs might!

[notjustmamie]

A broken clavcal is a pretty common birth injury for malpositioned babies. In fact, from what I've read, it's one of the standard OB practices to resolve SD. Maybe you could do a search for articles on shoulder dystocia management?

[yarngoddess]

I would ignore your mom. She is obviously talking out of her rear end, what SHE would do if this was her birth is irrelivent (sp). She's already got it "out for" your (or any) MW. If you really want to address this issue, then I would tell her that your MW did everything RIGHT given the situation. Beautiful Baby is healing fine, and you are doing wonderfully- so just drop it. I hate to say it, but maybe some clearer boundaries need to be set with your mom?

Sorry to hear that your baby was injured, but glad to hear that she's healing well.

[crunchy_mama]

I vote ignore her as well, it is likely you won't change her mind but stress her out more.

[ShwarmaQueen]

It sounds like your mom is probably angry and disappointed at the outcome of the situation and needing somewhere to direct those feelings. You know that injuries happen and thank GOD your baby is healthy and will recover. I would let things be and hopefully she'll drop it.

[Rose-Roget]

Thanks to you all for your replies. With my mom, I can never directly address a subject that upsets me, and I always need to ignore it if it's unsaid to me - it's just the way to get along. BUT in case she does say something or snark at me, then I'm glad to have information about shoulder dystosia to point out that an OB might have solved the problem by intentionally breaking the clavicle or much worse, but my mw took the gentlest approach, not intending to do harm in any way to me or dd.

Thanks again!

[maisiedotes]

My mom was never on board with the midwife thing either. When we lost our son in 2005, my mom asked if our midwife was licensed to deliver babies. She then blamed the whole thing on the fact that we had a midwife and not an OB. Now, of course, we have had 2 healthy children with OB's, which to her confirms that our MW must be a whack job or something. Some back-alley witchdoctor with no medical training or something.

Sorry- no answers, just empathy.