saying hi and reaching out

[taliphillips]

Hi! my name is Tali and i have a 2 yr old little girl and our newest addition my son who is 6 wks. i have finally reached a point where i just cant handle it anymore. i cant deal with being a mom of 2 and trying to be patient. I was breastfeeding but have decided to stop that due to it just being to stressful each and every time. I have to use a nipple shield and dealing with getting that on and a screaming infant and then battling him to get him to latch and stay on and not knock off the shield...its just too much. add to that my 2 yr old climbing all over me while i try and nurse...let me just say i cry and scream a lot. I am also a type 1 diabetic and know my depression is having affects on that too with my numbers slowly rising. ive been talking to my doctors and everything but i really need to talk converse with those who understand what im going through. i just dont know what to do any more. I already feel like a failure and that im letting my family and friends down. ugh...thanks for reading this.

[Sunflower223]

Hey Tali. I am sorry you are feeling so down. I have had ppd with all three of my children. It is actually less intense this time than the other two, but I feel it getting worse lately. I have a 7 week old myself, a 2 year old, and a 4 year old. I know what you mean about feeling like a failure, but you are not. You are doing the best you can and none of this is your fault. Hang in there. If you want someone to talk to you I am here for you.

[Super~Single~Mama]

You are not a failure!! Do you have people around that can support you, and help with your 2yo while you deal with the baby?

Don't be too hard on yourself, and ask for help! Don't be ashamed to say, "I'm having a really hard time with this, would you mind helping out? We need meals delivered/I need babysitting for my 2yo (and baby)/I need to be able to count on a nap 2x/week/it would be great if you could just come over and play with my kids and keep me company"

Most people are happy to help - they just don't know how!

[Momma Moo Martin]

, Momma. I'm so sorry that you are having such a rough time! I only have one little one but I have heard that any momma with two should have statues erected in her honor I know it can be so, so hard trying to establish breastfeeding in the beginning even without the added difficulties of a 2 year old hanging on you. Have you contacted your local La Leche League for support and assistance in breastfeeding? Maybe they could help you and your little guy continue to nurse if that is still a possibility. I hope you can reach out to family and friends to help you like Thyra suggested earlier. I wish I could think of more ways to make this difficult time easier for you. Remember that people really do care about you and your babies and that you will get through this! Sending lots of your way...

[kfillmore]

just so you know-everything looks perfect looking in at my life but sometimes I want yell and punch something and I sometimes get headaches from stress

[Kirsten]

I had PPD after my dd2 was born. It was without a doubt the hardest thing I've ever gone through - and I've gone through a fair amount... I really understand where you are right now. The good news is that it will go away. How hard it is right now, all the feelings of regret and guilt - they all go away. It will get better. It is good you are reaching out. Can you reach out to friends IRL? Let people support you through this. Have you talked to your midwife?

[taliphillips]

Thanks everyone for responding...it helps so much knowing im really not alone in this matter. my husband and family have been helping out a lot but no one really gets it unless they have been through it. so again thank you!