Twiddling the other side? - Page 2

[PinkNFluffy]

Hi everyone! My son twiddles too. I don't like it but he is obsessed, he pulls it out of my shirt. My nipples are so tough now I don't even notice but sometimes I hate the feeling.

[blizzard_babe]

Originally Posted by craft_media_hero

Those of you who have said you "don't allow" it, how is that possible? Like in my case above, where we would have had to wean in order to not "allow" it, would you have let it be that big of a deal to where you'd wean your babe over it?

Or that you don't "allow" access to the other boob, how is that even possible? Even if I was wearing a bra, she'd find that boobie! She had to have it in her hand as part of the nursing time. No necklace or other body part would be a fair substitute.

Really, even tho it's annoying, come on, it's not that big of a deal. I don't think it's worth having a power struggle or deal killer with your little one over something that is obviously so normal and instinctual that so many of us have noticed and experienced it.

My advice is just get over it. Give the baby what he or she wants. If so many babies seek it out, then it must be natural. It's not sexual, any more than nursing itself is sexual. It's annoying, but sheesh, nursing can be quite irritating and inconvenient at times, anyways. Lots of things about parenting are annoying. That doesn't mean that they're unnecessary or should be "dis-allowed".

My version of "not allowing" it is... basically, I hold my hand over it. He fusses a bit, then realizes he can't both nurse and fuss at the same time, and opts to nurse.

It's not something I can "get over," at least not very easily. It's some kind of sensory thing; I don't like to be touched in one place repeatedly. The nerve endings... it's hard to explain... but it becomes all I can feel and I just want to scream. Even when DH is like caressing my arm or something, it can't be one spot over and over again or it just gives me the heebie jeebies.

It took me a while to get used to all the constant physical contact involved in nursing, co-sleeping (DS went through this phase where he'd repeatedly rub his feet against my stomach while falling asleep); I think I'm allowed this one indulgence.

Granted, I'm a pretty extreme example, but different people have different limits when it comes to different kinds of touching. What is annoying for one person might not even register on a second person's radar, and may drive a third person completely bonkers.

[CheriK]

Funny to find this thread, as DD was obsessive about it last night and it was driving me nuts. I certainly wouldn't wean over it, but I was very ready to hand baby to Daddy and find another place to sleep!

I do think it's instinctual, and related to milk let-down. It also seems to be comforting to children who do it. However, not every child twiddles. Of my 3, two are/were "twiddlers". DS would try whenever his twin sister wasn't also nursing. And my current nursling would love to be allowed to get hold of my other nipple. I also "don't allow" twiddling, which basically means keeping my other breast covered and immediately removing any wandering hands. It really drives me crazy, think nails on a chalkboard or a splinter under your fingernail type crazy, so "getting over it" isn't an option. This is the only thing I truly cannot tolerate about nursing. Funny, I could nurse twins (which you'd think would be the same level of sensation) without it bothering me, but those fingers start grabbing and ARGH! With my current nursing DD, it's really only a problem at night, when she has access to both breasts. I keep a diaper in bed to cover the other breast, but it invariably gets lost in the covers by morning, so I'm reduced to using my hand. If my breast is covered by cloth, she's fine, but if it's my hand, she's trying to pull it off and is fussy. I've never allowed my children to do it, but they still persist in trying, which is why I think it must be instinct.

The book Breastfeeding: Biocultural Perspectives has an essay (I think one by Kathy Dettwyler) about the breast in a sexual context. Not every culture considers the breast sexual. So I'm not sure about it bothering us because of sexual concerns/feelings. I think it's just overstimulating, at least for me.

[bettyjones]

I was just thinking about this. Twiddling hurts so I guard my other nipple all night long my sleeping with an arm over it. Not the most comfortable but at least i can still sleep while 14month dd nurses. Twiddling would definitely wake me up.

[star thistle]

There are some times that twiddling really bothers me. And other times where I will freely and happily offer the other breast to be twiddled while nursing.

For me, there is definitely a correlation between these feelings and where I am in my cycle. The 2 days of ovulation and right before my period, I cringe when my ds twiddles and it is during these times when the twiddling and pinching tends to be the most intense (like someone said, this could be hormonal/supply related). The rest of my cycle, I really don't mind.

I think, for my son, twiddling is comforting as well as an effective way to stimulate let down.

[craft_media_hero]

Well, my girl was always very gentle about it, and it never hurt. Just irritating. I'm hoping with this next one that the habit doesn't develop--maybe I can be proactive and assert a nursing necklace or really soft blanky before he/she "discovers" it.

I could never sleep through nursing. It was so hard. So many nights, I wanted to cry coz I was sooo tired. We nightweaned around a year (I had to transition her to her own bed for a while, coz she would just cuddle up and start nursing even in her sleep, then when she was sleeping thru the night, we went back to co-sleeping).

Sorry if I sounded prickly in that last post, I just really couldn't imagine how it would've been possible with my hard-headed little one. The twiddle battle was one that I chose to bow out on; it was too much for me to fight her every time we nursed.

[blizzard_babe]

Originally Posted by craft_media_hero

I could never sleep through nursing. It was so hard. So many nights, I wanted to cry coz I was sooo tired.

I'm insanely jealous of people who can sleep through night nursing. I'd just lie there, wide awake and getting grumpier by the moment. We nightweaned because it was that or mama runs away and joins the circus.

[Artichokie]

Originally Posted by abimommy

I don't allow twiddling.

me neither. if she does that i put her down. It makes me sick to my stomach and they are MY nipples.

[calpurnia]

okay, so i tried refusing to allow dd (18 months) to twiddle as she nursed to sleep tonight. She screamed, kicked etc & I gave in (of course) & let her twiddle. It really feels like if I don't let her twiddle she won't nurse. How long did it take your babies to accept no-twiddling?

[D_McG]

Originally Posted by craft_media_hero

Those of you who have said you "don't allow" it, how is that possible? Like in my case above, where we would have had to wean in order to not "allow" it, would you have let it be that big of a deal to where you'd wean your babe over it?

Or that you don't "allow" access to the other boob, how is that even possible? Even if I was wearing a bra, she'd find that boobie! She had to have it in her hand as part of the nursing time. No necklace or other body part would be a fair substitute.

Really, even tho it's annoying, come on, it's not that big of a deal. I don't think it's worth having a power struggle or deal killer with your little one over something that is obviously so normal and instinctual that so many of us have noticed and experienced it.

My advice is just get over it. Give the baby what he or she wants. If so many babies seek it out, then it must be natural. It's not sexual, any more than nursing itself is sexual. It's annoying, but sheesh, nursing can be quite irritating and inconvenient at times, anyways. Lots of things about parenting are annoying. That doesn't mean that they're unnecessary or should be "dis-allowed".

Two things:
1 - think of something that is just unacceptable to you. Like your baby poking you in the eye repeatedly while nursing. Just - unacceptable. That's how twiddling is for me.
2 - I don't believe a child would choose to wean if they couldn't twiddle. But I don't mean that in a combative way. I guess I mean that neither of mine would. I just think nursing is a survival instinct. Much stronger than the instinct to twiddle.

I have never allowed it and DD (1) STILL tries. Not while she's awake but in the middle of the night. Drives me nuts and just is well.. unacceptable! She's one now and if you told me it was wean or let her twiddle, I'd wean in a heartbeat.

[Artichokie]

Originally Posted by craft_media_hero

Those of you who have said you "don't allow" it, how is that possible? Like in my case above, where we would have had to wean in order to not "allow" it, would you have let it be that big of a deal to where you'd wean your babe over it?

Or that you don't "allow" access to the other boob, how is that even possible? Even if I was wearing a bra, she'd find that boobie! She had to have it in her hand as part of the nursing time. No necklace or other body part would be a fair substitute.

Really, even tho it's annoying, come on, it's not that big of a deal. I don't think it's worth having a power struggle or deal killer with your little one over something that is obviously so normal and instinctual that so many of us have noticed and experienced it.

My advice is just get over it. Give the baby what he or she wants. If so many babies seek it out, then it must be natural. It's not sexual, any more than nursing itself is sexual. It's annoying, but sheesh, nursing can be quite irritating and inconvenient at times, anyways. Lots of things about parenting are annoying. That doesn't mean that they're unnecessary or should be "dis-allowed".

How rude. It is a big deal to me. it hurts like #3ll and they are my nipples. try judging less and thinking more.