Vent about the struggles of working, being a student, and a single mom

[alternativemomma]

Does anyone else sometimes just want to quit everything and take a breather? I'm a full time student and finding time to study and be the student I want to be seems impossible, or if I'm doing well in school I've been lacking in the mom department. Vice versa, if I'm feeling good at my mommy skills, I'm falling behind in school work. Then I go to work and my parents watch her and they don't do things the way I would but it's free babysitting so I'm supposed to keep my mouth closed and I'm not even making that much money to help us. I know when I finish school I will be happy and this is DEFINITELY what I want to do it's just SO HARD! My new boyfriend lives far away and he's always on me for not talking to him enough or falling asleep too early and not leaving time to talk to him but I just can't be perfect at everything. Should I reduce my hours next semester or reduce my work hours? I'd like to move out or pay for our food or a new car or something, there are so many things I'd like for my daughter and I know to set us up for life I'll need my degree. I've just been so stressed about stuff lately. : (

Let me know I'm not alone!

[claddaghmom]

Hi there,

I'm not a single mom but I just wanted to stop in to say hi and that I know how it feels to juggle things. I am a full time student too and I am trying to run my own business. It seems like I can either do a teeny bit of one thing at a time and get nothing done or take a chunk of time to accomplish something but then have disasters in the other area.

[josybear]

i'm a single mama, a full time student, and i work part time - it sucks. there's no possible way to do everything, even if i do it all half-assedly. i'm waaay behind in my classes, my boss is getting irked, my kids watch waaay too many movies while i try to study, my house is chaos... it's just straight up impossible, but i don't have a choice, here. i need to work, i need to care for my kids, i need to get a degree so i can earn a decent living wage one day. i also need to eat and sleep, i've heard, but so far i'm managing to not do those.

believe me, you are not alone.

[Rowansmama]

You're not alone! I'm not a single mama, but my husband is military and is gone about 75% of the time. I know it's not the same, but I totally understand the juggling! I WAH and look after my 2 year old full time, and have another on the way. It's HARD!

I think it's wonderful that you're working so hard to make a good life for you and your daughter. It also sounds like your boyfriend isn't that supportive - do you think you could talk to him and ask him if he could be your cheerleader instead of making you feel guilty about not having much time for him?

As for reducing school or work hours - I'd reduce work hours if it's at all possible financially. That way you'll finish school quicker, which means you'll be working in a job you like sooner. I'd suck it up and take advantage of your parents offering free babysitting since it's only short term. Once you're done school, you'll be in a much better position to be more choosy about care.

Good luck! And don't forget that self care is very important. No matter how busy or stressed you are, you have to take some time for yourself too!

[meandmine]

I know whereof you speak.

The song from Rogers and Hammerstein's Cinderella keeps going through my head: "Impossible things are happening every day ... impossible ... impossible ...impoooooossible!"

And so go our lives (I am also a single, working, student mom).

Bless the pp who said it is not possible to do it all. Mostly in my life when I say I can't do something people expect of me I get this blank stare -- "why not" they seem to ask with their expressions.

I am glad you KNOW you are working toward something that will be good for you and your child. Hold on to that. As for boyfriend ... he needs to chill and be realistic.

Hugs,

M

[AndrewsMother]

Hang in there!

[alternativemomma]

Thank you everyone for all the awesome support! I used to be so good at making decisions but I feel like I second guess my every move and how it's going to affect me and my DD lately. It helps to have some support! Maybe I can work something out with them where one night a week I have a study night and I go to the book store and just get some peace and quiet or something because the hardest struggle is a personal struggle for me. Instead of doing my work I get overwhelmed and push it aside, you know? Then I go through bursts of getting A LOT done and then I do nothing and get behind. I'm only in my first year of school and I'm ready to be done!
I think my parents might get divorced and I feel like I need to be focusing on moving out and my mom just started working again and my dad works from 7 am to 7 pm basically and they always make me feel guilty with how much they watch my daughter for me to go to work because they don't even watch her for me to go to school, I was enrolled in classes and they said they'd help for childcare and I was supposed to get child support checks and neither did that so I had to pull her out the second month of school and start doing it from home and nobody offers to watch her for me to study which is fine but it's just hard to get stuff done this way. Especially when I throw on the stress of considering moving out and everything. Sometimes I want to take a semester off and just get everything straightened out and set for us and start up again but I know that the like the percentage of people who go back to school are slim and I'll probably regret it. *SIGH*