Feeling like a defective failure...

[ExuberantDaffodil]

My baby is just over a week old, and I'm starting to feel like there is something wrong with me. I had an awesome (accidentally unassisted) homebirth, and my babe got to latch on right away. I've read the breastfeeding boards here on MDC for over 4 years, nursed my son until he was three.... Know all the do's and don'ts of nursing, and here I find myself with a low supply and a pediatrician telling me to supplement with formula.

Babe was 6lbs 12 ounces at birth, and dropped to 5lbs11oz (according to a dubious scale that I am not entirely sure I believe). I'm having some latch issues on the left side, and I have a baby who frequently falls asleep at the breast. And she had a 16 point on the jaundice scale (which thankfully went down just before the ped was going to send us to the hospital).

Babe is now up to 6lbs 2oz, and both her ped and my midwife aren't exactly pleased with her growth. I've been pumping and my husband is syringe-feeding her what I express, but now that she is more alert, she acts hungry constantly. She has about 4-5 wet diapers a day, and hasn't pooped in three days. The midwife (whom I really respect) checked my breasts today and she didn't think they felt full enough and wants me to see a lc right away. We tried weighing the babe before and after a feeding, and her weight only went up about a half an ounce.

I just don't know why my body would be failing me right now. I trusted it so fully when I was pregnant and when I was birthing, and to not have enough milk to feed my baby is really messing with me. I don't want to supplement with formula at all, and am working hard to avoid that route. I actually had an over supply with my first child, so this whole situation is really baffling.

I know to drink lots of water. . I know to just nurse nurse nurse (which I've absolutely been doing, despite sore, tender nipples ), I just don't know why I'm not seeing a more dramatic increase. I know about fennugreek (which I will try to pick up soon)

I feel like I should be an expert on this. I feel like I should be doing a lot better.

[bean-e]

But you are an expert. The issue is that you have a new baby and you two are learning to work with each other. Of course you are worried about her weight and her jaundice. The best thing you can do for her is to keep yourself as stress-free as possible since that can decrease milk supply as well. Do you have any oatmeal at home? That's suppose to increase milk supply.

[Momma Moo Martin]

First of all, . I know it's not easy. I have to say that I agree with your midwife about seeing a lactation consultant as soon as possible. Even with all your knowledge about bfing, there could be something that you cannot see that the lc could recognize and take care of. For example, my LO's jaw was slightly shifted during the birth process which kept her from getting a good latch so that I could be stimulated to produce enough milk. I couldn't tell her jaw was shifted but my lc picked up on it right away. We started craniosacral therapy with a chiropractor and got it taken care of. You are doing a great job! Good luck, momma, and congrats on the new addition!

[hippiemommaof4]

half an ounce is good for one feeding for a 1 week old imo...fenugreek helps boost supply though,mothersmilk tea etc. watch the baby not the scales...is she happy? does she seem hydrated enough is she alert when awake?

[Shanelovr]

i'm so sorry. its really tough to keep a positive attitude when everyone around you is telling you somethings wrong.
i'm a new momma so i'm not aware of all that is out there. seeing an LC sounds like a good idea, just from my experience, when ds was a newbie, he slept so much more than he ate there for a while. he would latch great, but would fall asleep after only 2-3min of nursing. he would eat frequently in really short spurts, and everyone kept telling me he should eat longer and be full for longer amts of time. but i knew he was healthy, and just nursed him on demand.
the thing that would be a bit concerning to me is the length between poops. but i'm just here to say hang in there mostly. you're doing the best you can for your baby. you're a great momma for that

[AnnieNimIty]

Consider also, it has just been a week. She is gaining weight! Also, how does a MW know that you don't have enough milk in your breasts?? That kind of confuses me.
I would say you are doing great.
Alfalfa is good for milk production as well BTW.

[spughy]

The only thing in your post that really concerns me is the lack of poops, especially if baby is jaundiced, because poops are how the bilirubin is removed.

Honestly, if you're not experiencing anything resembling mild engorgement at this stage, and baby is only doing 4-5 pees a day, acting hungry and you ARE putting her to the breast whenever possible, you DO need to see an LC. But please, please please don't blame yourself. There could be any number of things wrong but it's not as if you had any control over any of them. These things *happen* and it sounds like you have good care and are being proactive. It's no more your fault than if a bird poops on your head. Or your baby's head. Crappy? yes. Your fault? Not so much.

The first thing I would be looking at is if you had any hemmorhaging or excessive bleeding after the birth - could be indicative of retained placenta. Is it possible you're anemic? Do you have any hormonal issues like PCOS or type 2 diabetes? Is your baby tongue-tied, perhaps? How effective is her suck? All these things could affect your supply, and they can all be fixed. It's not a reflection on your abilities as a mother that you're in this situation - it IS a reflection of those abilities that you're doing something about it! Give yourself credit, and a great big hug.

[Blueone]

It's not your fault. Our bodies are tricky and there can be so many reasons why it won't work just right. Try seeing someone at La Leche League. I saw an LC and they didn't help me at all and in the end I stopped because he wasn't having wet diapers, passing stools, and his jaundice just kept getting worse. The LC said things were fine and rushed me out (still really annoyed about that).

Have you been evaluated for Hypothyroid? That sometimes causes low milk and that was my problem, my levels were really off after I had him and I didn't know until he was a month when I really felt the symptoms. Birth can cause that sometimes.

[AislinCarys]

I know the feeling. But you are not a failure. It happens. And it stinks. But it doesn't mean that all is lost on the breastfeeding front.

DD lost weight a few weeks after she was born. But with the assistance of my wonderful midwife, an excellent midwife and my husband (and lots and lots of hard work!), we got there in the end. DD did need a little bit extra for a while (30-50 ml donated breastmilk a day between 6 weeks and 9 weeks, then starting again with 300 ml a day at about 15 weeks, which we proceded to decrease with 50 ml every week thereafter, after I started thaking Domperidone), which we gave in an SNS. At 6 months, when we started solids, we had weaned off both Domp. and donated milk.

And DD is still breastfeeding at 20 months!

I don't think you can see if a breast is "full enough". Some women never get engorged, and still have plenty of milk.

See a good LC as soon as possible, and try not to worry. The stress won't be making things better (I know that from experience).

PM me if you want!

[Carlyle]

I'm sorry you're feeling like a failure! Keep in mind that every bf relationship has TWO of you involved. Your body worked just fine for your son, so maybe your dd is different and needs a bit more help working out her latch, or something. Did you save your placenta? Can you eat some of it (put a chunk in a strawberry smoothie or dehydrate and grind it into capsules)? I've heard that it can really help with both milk production and your hormones leveling out. Good luck to you!

[Shanelovr]

Originally Posted by AislinCarys

I don't think you can see if a breast is "full enough". Some women never get engorged, and still have plenty of milk.

i forgot to add this, but i didn't feel any sense of engorgement until ds was a few months old. don't let that be your sign. he was just nursing often enough that i didn't get engorged.

[Doberbrat]

I'd def see a LC but your milk might not be fully in yet either - it took a week for mine to come in w/dd and I had to take lots of fenugreek, mothers milk tea etc to help it along.

try to be gentle with yourself

[wanderinggypsy]

With my fourth babe my milk didn't fully 'come in' until 2 weeks... I bet your supply is just still establishing itself. And your baby is peeing, so he's getting 'enough'.

Relax, nurse, drink water, and give it a few more days. And I really must emphasis RELAX. Take the baby to bed for 24 hours of skin to skin.

Take care, I hope things are better soon.