Co-worker disrupting my pumping arrangment. Does this sound weird to you?

[MoonJelly]

As I type this, a fellow employee, "Monica", in another department is trying to get my (company-approved) pumping place moved from a lockable, vacant office to a sometimes-used conference room. I don't know if it has a lock and I don't want to go over there at the moment to check. But anyway, the reason for her effort: she doesn't like the person in the cubicle adjacent to hers, "Donna", and wants to get her moved to the office I am using. Monica has told other people, including my manager, that the reason she wants Donna moved is that she smells bad and makes too many bodily noises, and she doesn't like listening to her talk on the phone.

Monica tells me that they will put up privacy screen material on the conference room's external windows, which do already have blinds. By "they" I presume she means her and her cohorts because thus far there has been no manager on her side involved in this. The other concern is that meetings in this room are totally random, but I need to pump at specific times. Also, it's in a much more public location, making it all the more awkward if there is a time mix up.

So I guess on one hand, I am trying to look out for myself and my pumping needs, but on the other, in regards to Monica's actions toward Donna, I am wondering if this kind of behavior towards another employee is acceptable.

To make matters worse, I have to walk past Monica's cubicle on the way to my current pumping place, so there's more potential awkwardness.

Anyway, it's all leaving me feeling rather lousy about things right now.

[Pepper44]

It sounds like Monica is rather selfish to me. She obviously could care less about you pumping! Why doesn't she go sit in the conference room and do her work instead? (I know that's probably not an option, but don't you wish it was?)

I hope no one takes Monica's side. I would be angry if I were you.

[Caneel]

Oh the joys of office drama!

First of all, does Monica has any authority what so ever to be moving people? If not, I would do my best to ignore the situation and not get involved.

How is your relationship with your manager? Can voice your concerns over losing your arrangments?

I realize this can be tricky. I had one manager that would have wanted to know if anyone was messing with his employees. I had another who didn't want to hear anything - no complaint, no concerns, no reports of in-fighting or gossip, period.

Monica's actions and attitudes are just awful. Completely unacceptable but unfortunately, in my experience, not uncommon.

[lotusdebi]

(saw this in new posts)

Monica has told other people, including my manager, that the reason she wants Donna moved is that she smells bad and makes too many bodily noises, and she doesn't like listening to her talk on the phone.

Here's what needs to happen. She needs to stick some perfume or something right under her nose, so the stench no longer bothers her. She should invest in some ear plugs or headphones, to block out the noises of Donna's body and voice. And then she should find some duct tape to put over her mouth, so she'll finally stop complaining about having to exist around other people.
Seriously. We are surrounded by people who offend us in many, many ways every single day. That's life. Deal with it, or get a job where you can be a recluse.

And I don't think Monica's behaviors towards Donna are acceptable.

[MoonJelly]

I should add that Donna has been the ongoing target of the above and similar criticisms, even jokes, from other employees for a long time. While I woudn't say she is my favorite person, this behavior towards her (well behind her back) has never sat well with me. At best it's unprofessional and immature, and worst it's cruel and demeaning.

[lotusdebi]

Sounds like middle school.

[MoonJelly]

Originally Posted by lotusdebi

(saw this in new posts)



Here's what needs to happen. She needs to stick some perfume or something right under her nose, so the stench no longer bothers her. She should invest in some ear plugs or headphones, to block out the noises of Donna's body and voice. And then she should find some duct tape to put over her mouth, so she'll finally stop complaining about having to exist around other people.
Seriously. We are surrounded by people who offend us in many, many ways every single day. That's life. Deal with it, or get a job where you can be a recluse.

And I don't think Monica's behaviors towards Donna are acceptable.

LOL! Thanks, Debi!

[MoonJelly]

Originally Posted by lotusdebi

Sounds like middle school.

Yup.

[pumpkin]

First, HR or someone at the company needs to give everyone a little refresher course in harassment. Sounds like Donna has ammo for a nice little lawsuit.

I would go to the manager and just state that it is important that you have a dedicated place to pump. Possibly point out that many companies provide such a room and that while you may be the only person using it at the moment, that won't always be the case. For instance my company had 10 people using the pumping room when I left to stay home. 8 more were pregnant at the same time I was. This is in an office of about 120. We just happened to have everyone get pregnant at once for some strange reason and pretty much everyone breastfed. My company actually dedicated the room as the "quiet room." It was 90% used for pumping, but anyone who just needed a moment to rest could use it. There was a schedule on the door to sign up for slots.

[MoonJelly]

Also, to clarify, I should say that I meant acceptable in terms of what's allowed to go on from a corporate, HR policy standpoint. I certainly think it's unacceptable on any other level.

[secondimpression]

You have a legitimate medical NEED to pump at specific times during the day and need a relaxed, safe environment to do so. Your need by far takes priority over whatever personal issues your coworkers have with each other. If I were you, I would absolutely tell your manager that you've heard about someone trying to reassign the lactation room. I would also bring it to HR's attention. What I've found works well with people who "don't get it" is not to focus on your baby's right to be breastfed, but your right to avoid breast infections

Good luck mama, and remember that pumping is hard work and you're doing the best by your LO that you possibly can

[MoonJelly]

Originally Posted by pumpkin

First, HR or someone at the company needs to give everyone a little refresher course in harassment. Sounds like Donna has ammo for a nice little lawsuit.

Yeah, that's the thing. I don't know if she is aware of what is going on or cares... etc. I would like to help in some way, but I don't know the best way to do it, short of asking "Are you aware that people are making fun of you?" Awful.

Also, my manager does know what's going on. We were pregnant at the same time and she advocated for the room for us before I had the chance to. Unfortunately, breastfeeding didn't work out for her. But she has surprised me by continuing to advocate for the room and generally helping me out with this. However, today they tried to circumvent her and get pushy with me.

There is another woman here due in December with plans to come back to work and pump. Everyone else who has had a baby here has not breastfed for one reason or another. I was hoping the pumping room would be here to stay. Our other two locations do have a designated area and our HR was very supportive of our efforts here. But it's now come to this because Monica is trying to use other means.

[_betsy_]

Tell Monica to take her concerns about Donna and her seating arrangements to HR. Tell Monica that you are not interested in moving your pumping room, and that you are no longer interesting in entertaining any discussion on this issue. Any time she mentions moving or Donna, direct her to HR. Go to HR yourself. Do you have an HR buddy? I have a woman I've connected with in HR who is my ally on issues like this. I'd go to her rioght now, and tell her what's going on. How you're not comfortable with the way Donna is being spoken about, you're not comfortable with Monica's demands, and you really just want to keep your pumping room the way it is. Ask her what she thinks you should do. I'm willing to wager her suggestion would be that you need to stay out of any and all discussions, and direct Monica to HR.

[MoonJelly]

Originally Posted by _betsy_

Tell Monica to take her concerns about Donna and her seating arrangements to HR. Tell Monica that you are not interested in moving your pumping room, and that you are no longer interesting in entertaining any discussion on this issue. Any time she mentions moving or Donna, direct her to HR. Go to HR yourself. Do you have an HR buddy? I have a woman I've connected with in HR who is my ally on issues like this. I'd go to her rioght now, and tell her what's going on. How you're not comfortable with the way Donna is being spoken about, you're not comfortable with Monica's demands, and you really just want to keep your pumping room the way it is. Ask her what she thinks you should do. I'm willing to wager her suggestion would be that you need to stay out of any and all discussions, and direct Monica to HR.

Thanks. That helps with some of the phrasing I was looking for.

So, apparently as it stands now, Monica was told by the department director, who's in charge of the conference room in question that it was being used too often for it to be used for pumping. He isn't exactly a pumping advocate himself, so while it's maybe a short-term "victory" for me, it could end up a problem if the conference room does indeed become the only viable room left for whatever reason.

[justKate]

Sounds like a victory to me. Try to let it go for now, I guess!

I'm not sure what state you're in or what sort of business you work for, but many states (including Texas) require employers with more than a certain number of employees to provide a dedicated, appropriate place for you to pump. This is something that HR should be very aware of, so you might just need to say to someone in HR, in confidence, that you're worried about losing your pumping room. They might be able to offer you some reassurance.

[MoonJelly]

I'm in Maryland and we don't have any pumping legislation. However, we have do offices in CT and TX, both with decent pumping laws, so that may help. HR is located in these other offices, as are pumping rooms.

Right now, I am just trying my best to behave like it's a very normal thing even though it's a bit more awkward going back there now.

[rcr]

yea, sounds wierd to me.