Feeding the neighbor's baby

[Ldavis24]

So my neighbor and I have LOs that are exactly 2 months apart in age mine being the older at 5.5 mo...Neighbor and were always friendly but having babies this close in age has made us fast friends and we tend to agree on most parenting stuff which certainly helps and we love having our girls interact together!

The only thing that stinks is that she got no support for BFing and because of her inverted nipples (tmi) she didn't even breastfeed in the hospital after her DD's birth...

Well just this past week because her DD has been sick with a ferocious cough for the past month as a last resort I have her a bunch of my pumped extremely precious milk to see if that helped her LO at all. It certainly has and her LO loves the breast milk (go figure) and neighbor friend asked me if I would continue to supply about a bottles worth of milk a day for her DD. She said she would pay me but I honestly just feel weird about that, I mean it is sooo good for a baby I could never take money for something like that.

This would also hopefully result in her not giving her LO rice cereal anymore because her DD is getting the extra nutrition from my milk. Apparently her ped said she HAD to have rice cereal with EVERY meal because she spit up a lot, this kid weighs almost 15lbs and is clearly gaining fine!

So has anyone else had this arrangement before? Are there any ground rules I lay out? I would be happy to nurse this baby but I think that is taking it further than neighbor friend is ready for. I just really want to help this baby and it makes me really happy to do this.

My MIL told me it was a bad idea but couldn't explain why and I still can't figure it out, is there something I am missing in all this, something that could backfire? I would be so so thrilled if I couldn't BF and someone was willing to do this with me.

[CrunchyChristianMama]

That's wonderful that your friend is seeing the benefits of breastmilk, hopefully with any future children that will encourage her to try breastfeeding them herself.

I would avoid a formal arrangement of "I will provide x number of ounces/bottles for you". Maybe just let her know that if you ever have extra you will be happy to pass it off to her.

[libertymom]

I've done it!

I nusrsed my sister's baby and she has nursed her friends baby. No big deal to either of us, but I'm not sure if you could be held responsible if the baby got sick and she tried to blame you.

[Mrs-Mama]

I think it's wonderful that you are willing to pump for the baby! I also think it's wonderful that your neighbor is open-minded enough to accept you milk for her babe! The WHO recommends another mother's milk over formula.

Like you, I think it would be weird to sell my milk, but I don't think it's unfair to ask for the other mom to pay for storage bags, etc (things that actually cost you money). The only other ground rule that I can think of would be just that you will continue to do it so long as there is no detriment to your own baby or family (pumping does take time and can be a hassle sometimes). Oh, and it also might not hurt to get a blood test just to show that you don't have HIV or Hepatitis.

[Ldavis24]

i was thinking about the storage supply bags and maybe just asking her to buy the ones i will use for her LO.

Will this make my supply go up because i will be pumping once more a day than i already do? Not that it is a bad thing i amthinking if i stop pumping it will make my boobs hurt though!! I am glad to hear that there are others out there who have ventured into this territory. I really feel good about it and am glad that she is happy about it too. Our girls will be living next door for a while so its just a happy thing for everyone. I still don't get why my MIL said it was a bad idea..maybe she is just nutty

[Mama Lo]

I just wanted to give you a hug mama. As a breastfeeding mama, I appreciate the benefits of breastmilk and think that it is wonderful what you are able and willing to do for that little baby girl

[Blessed_Mom]

You should totally do it.

[Shanelovr]

i would definitely do this. good for you! it's wonderful that your friend is comfortable with this and sees the benefits lo's get from breastmilk.

[Carlyle]

I have done this too for a neighbor friend who had breast reduction surgery a long time ago and was having to supplement. It felt GREAT (although pumping was more work)!

[juneau]

Her baby is young enough that she could try to relactate if she wanted to. Has she considered it?

[Nicole730]

I think it's a great idea. And awesome that she felt comfortable enough to ask you. If it was me, I almost feel I'd rather feed the baby straight from the source. So much easier than pumping.

[Mom2SammyJoe]

A friend and I pumped to help supply her cousin's baby. The mom was not able to nurse at all after the premature delivery and lots of health problems. Our 3 babies are within 2 weeks of each other. I wanted to help, and I just let them know I would do what I could for as long as I could. They gave me bags and I filled them for almost 5 months, pumping about once per day. After a trip without the pump, my supply decreased and I stopped. But it felt good to share. I figure I gave the other baby 6-7 gallons of momma milk!

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by Nicole730

I think it's a great idea. And awesome that she felt comfortable enough to ask you. If it was me, I almost feel I'd rather feed the baby straight from the source. So much easier than pumping.

Personally and maybe this is weird but I just wanted to try nursing her LO once just to see if she would take to it after having a bottle from day 1. I was thinking about talking to her about relactation but I know just from discussing it with her she wouldn't have the time or motivation really to put in the effort. From all that I have heard it is not easy for most women. Maybe I will mention it casually.

I would almost rather just her babe once a day or something because that really is much easier IMO but I wouldn't push that on her ever. If she ever asked though I would definitely agree.

[sunshynbaby]

That is such an amazing gift! I would not take money for it, but would be fine asking her to supply the bags, etc.

[mom2noahbean]

I think this is a fantastic thing! After I had a difficult labor, I needed to be transferred to the hospital for a C-sec. There were complications do to the surgery and I needed to get a CAT scan, which meant iodine in my system. I was not able to bf my lo for the first 2 days of his life! Luckily my sister-in-law was in town for his birth and still bfing her 1 yr old. She stayed with me in the hospital and bf him (straight from the source) until I was able to. The hospital staff had a bit of a conniption fit, but one of the pediatricians from practice I go to was very happy that I chose this over formula. I am so grateful that she was willing & able to do this for me, it was the greatest gift she could give to her new nephew! I know it is a little easier because we are family, but I would have accepted this from anyone I knew well enough to know they were healthy, anything to avoid formula! (not to disrespect formula feeders, it is just not for me or my babe if I can help it). Hope everything works out with you and your neighbor.

[heidirk]

I would totally pump for her! I would feel wrong taking money too, but maybe she'd be willing to watch your LO once in a while for you or some other exchange?

[Diyan]

Originally Posted by Ldavis24

i was thinking about the storage supply bags and maybe just asking her to buy the ones i will use for her LO.

Will this make my supply go up because i will be pumping once more a day than i already do? Not that it is a bad thing i amthinking if i stop pumping it will make my boobs hurt though!! I am glad to hear that there are others out there who have ventured into this territory. I really feel good about it and am glad that she is happy about it too. Our girls will be living next door for a while so its just a happy thing for everyone. I still don't get why my MIL said it was a bad idea..maybe she is just nutty

I was pumping for an adopted baby for a while. I dropped two pumping sessions abruptly when I stopped and didn't have any problems.

[thefreckledmama]

I agree with everyone else, it's a wonderful gift you are giving the neighbor's baby.

As far as your MIL's opinion, the first thing that came to my mind, is that there are just some people who don't understand why anyone would do anything that might be considered "putting themselves out" for other people without an obvious gain. Also, if she doesn't have a full understanding of the value of breastmilk, she might not see the value of such a gift.

[phrogger]

I think it is a great idea. Paying for storage bags and then maybe the occasional lunch might be nice.

[Smithie]

Hmmmm. If this is really somebody you feel close to, you might trying saying "yes I'd love to help you, but pumping is such a hassle, I would much have you come over for a visit once a day and I'll nurse the baby."

The last thing I'd want to do is freak someone out, but I also hate pumping with the intensity of a thousand white-hot burning suns. And I nursed a friend's newborn once when she was totally frazzled and needed to sleep, and it was seriously no big deal. Not weird at all.