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Wwyd? - Page 2

post #21 of 24
Originally Posted by bronxmom View Post
Not sure everyone is aware, but CA is a "3 strikes, you're out" state. That means that if you have 3 felony offenses no matter how minor or non-violent, you are sent to prison for life. A man got sent to prison for life for stealing a pack of diapers there. Giving their son one strike in that system, not to mention what jail does to people, is not the way to go. I think they took the right course as far as pressing charges/jail goes.

By the way, jail is only a "natural consequence" in that parents don't set it up themselves. It's still a punitive/unnatural consequence set up by our system. It's not aimed at rehabilitation, treatment or prevention - but at demonization and humiliation/punishment. Some people come out of it a better person - those lucky few who are strong enough and persistent enough and discover god or politics. But the vast majority of people who enter it are made worse and are destroyed by the experience. It will not "talk sense in to this kid".

The bigger questions are not being asked. Why is he stealing that kind of money? What is he using it for? How did he get to this place? And what can be done to help him out of it? Now that the parents have bought themselves some time they need to be figuring those questions out. Not sure if that's there mindset given that they are "just trying to get through to graduation". 17 1/2 is still very young and people have a lot of time to make themselves who they want to be; the parents should try to play a role in helping that process.
I disagree with this statement. You can become a better person without discovering "god."
post #22 of 24
Thread Starter 
Update 2 - Thank you again for all of your replies. They are definitly food for thought.

Therapy - He is in individual therapy and family therapy. He does suffer from depression and is being activly treated for it.

Why He Stole the Money - He did not use the money for drugs or alcohol he used it for clothes and food.

Remorse - He shows 'surface remorse'. The therapist believes the lack of remorse is linked to several things including his best friend shot and killed by the best friend's mom when he was 8. Since that time the boy has really struggled.

Military - He will be 18 in February. He has discussed getting his GED at that time and joining the Air Force. If he chooses that route his parents have decided to support him in that choice.

Community Service - He has been performing community service 3 days a week 3 hours a day since the incident occured. He is helping special needs children with therapy through horse back riding.

I think the struggle from the parent's perspective is that he is a young man with a huge heart. He would give the shirt off his back to someone who needed it. They know he is on a self destructive path and are doing what they can to help him get things together before there are truly long term implications.

They did explore the idea of letting him go through the legal system but after speaking with a juvenile defense attorney who said that he would NEVER let his own child go through the system we have here they decided to work with the other family.

Sorry for tpos and spellin errors, baby on the lap.
post #23 of 24
Have him check with a recruiter before getting his GED. My brother just joined the National Guard and he was going to get it first but they did not want him too.. they wanted to send him to their new million dollar school they built so he can get it there. Brother is 30 though.

The neighbor kid is 17/18ish. His aunt told me that the Army recruiter told them they prefer you get a real HS diploma first becuase they think of people with GED's as quitters.

There are just two peoples stories.. check with your local recruiter to see what they have to say.
post #24 of 24
Originally Posted by runnerbrit View Post
Military - He will be 18 in February. He has discussed getting his GED at that time and joining the Air Force. If he chooses that route his parents have decided to support him in that choice.

FYI, the Air Force has stringent rules for allowing people with GEDs to join. He has to score a 65 or above on the ASVAB, and will have to wait for a slot to open up.

Also, depending on the actual diagnosis for his "depression", he may be automatically DQ'd, qualify for a waiver, or not have that factor in at all. His best bet is to talk to a recruiter to find out some of these answers.
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