Cosleeping with 2

[SollysMom]

We cosleep with our 2-year-old and I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant with #2. I'm wondering about some logistics regarding cosleeping with 2.

In the very early days, I imagine that I will just keep the baby in my wrap during the day when he naps and DS1 can still nap in bed, and same in the beginning of the night before DH and I go to bed. If I don't keep him in the wrap, we have a moses basket I can put the baby in and keep out in the living room with us until we go to bed. But once the baby settles into a nap and bedtime routine - especially once he's big enough to need a quiet space to sleep - I'd like to get him in bed. My husband thinks that in the beginning, he and DS should keep sleeping in our bed, and the new baby and I should sleep in the guest room (I'm currently sleeping in there as we nightwean DS1, which fortunately is going pretty well). His worry is with the new baby waking up DS1 during the night. And I can see his point, but I don't think that concern will ever go away. I think if I nurse the baby right away, he shouldn't cry for long and hopefully DS can sleep through it.

My other wonder is, if/when we are all in the same bed again, what is the safest way to have the boys in there without a parent? We have a queen beside a twin, with both mattresses right on the floor. So maybe DS1 on the twin, a pillow between them, and then I nurse the baby to sleep on the queen (with another pillow between him and the edge of the bed)? We use a monitor so I'll hear if one of them wakes and can get to them quickly.

I'm interested to hear how others have worked out the logistics of cosleeping with 2 (or more!). Thanks in advance for any replies

[Gray's Mommy]

I'm due in approximately 10 weeks & don't plan on bedsharing with my youngest (2.5) and the newborn. While I feel good with the newborn, my 2.5 is so not aware of anyone but me while in bed. That kinda scares me that he may roll over or squish the baby.

How heavy of a sleeper is your toddler? I'm not sure if I would trust mine without an adult in the bed due to his sleeping habits.

[Martha27]

My situation isn't really the same as yours but maybe this will help you a bit.
we never did (or do) napping in our big bed so i've never had to deal with that, but when my son was born my daughter was only 16 months old and although she doesn't start out in our bed at night almost always finds her way in there at some point. My son as a newborn was exclusively cosleeping with us and we only have a queen size bed. Our configuration when we were all in bed was usually me on one end,then newborn, husband, daughter on the other end. My husband would kind of snuggle/restrain our daughter while he slept so she didnt roll off the bed and I would keep the wee one close. When my youngest was about 5 months then the kids could sleep beside each other without any troubles. Also both my husband and I are still and light sleepers and VERY aware whenever the kids stir in bed.

[SollysMom]

Thanks for the replies. Because we have so much space with the twin next to the queen, I don't think I would worry about DS rolling onto the baby because we could space them pretty far apart with pillows in between them. Once DH and I are in bed, my idea is to have DS on the twin, then DH, then me, then the baby starting out in the moses basket beside our mattress and coming into bed when he wakes. At that point he can stay on the outside (I can put a pillow between him and the edge) or he can go in between DH and me. I wouldn't mind going DH-DS-me-baby but for the forseeable future, until the nightweaning is well-established, I think DH needs to be between me and DS.

[SeekingSerenity]

I have a king with a crib side-carred. Most nights, if you were standing at the end of the bed looking left to right, it'd be DS (who is 6.5) next to DD (who is 4), then me next to Lil'Man (who is 16 months). The baby is usually in the crib, but that STILL leaves me with about 12 inches on the very edge of the king mattress.

DS has his own bed, and when he sleeps in it (rarely) it's actually comfortable. But I guess the clincher here is that DH has his own room with his own queen bed.

When we went from one to two in the bed and we shared the king, that's when we added the crib. It has the drop-rail left off, and it's securely wedged between the wall and the bed. It provides the extra space needed for an older child, and we always kept the baby between the two of us. If tandem nursing, you could just roll back and forth between them (assuming the older one still night-nurses) or if not, the baby is right there against you in the middle.

Right now, if I am not actually in the bed with them (they go to sleep between 8:30 and 9), then I place a pillow at the spot on the edge of the king where I usually sleep, between DD and Lil'Man in the crib. That keeps any toddler-thrashing from disturbing the smaller one. Of course, I still haven't figured out a way to consistently keep DS in his own bed, but contrary to what DH and my family thinks, I don't believe it's much of a problem.

[MittensKittens]

We have a King and a crib right next to the bed. I had many of the same concerns you did before DS came along, and I even posted a similar thread on here but everything turned out to be fine. DD had already stopped napping during the day, so that was not an issue. But honestly, she has never woken up from her brother's crying, and co-sleeping has been great. At first, I was concerned about DD being rough, squashing the baby or similar, but if you put one kid on one side of you and the other on the other side, I think it works. For us, anyway. DS is 11 months now, and they do sleep in the bed together (without me) sometimes. Normally this happens when I nurse DS to sleep, and three year old DD will fall asleep after reading a few books etc. The crib is just there so that nobody falls out of bed - the other side of the bed is against the wall.

I am sure you will find out what works for you very quickly once the baby is there!