Thought I would join in here as I also have this condition and am 37wks pregnant and beginning to worry. I can't offer much advice or new info at this stage but it I think it is good to share experiences with people who understand.
A gynecologist diagnosed me with this about 3-4 years ago. All my pain sits around my outer urethral area (right on the very tip of my pelvic bone) so sex is painful, esp with initial penetration. I do still manage to enjoy, sometimes its worse than others. But it nearly always interferes to some degree and there are certainly NO marathon sex sessions!
Bellaresop, my gynecologist prescribed me a 3 week course of Fluconazole which of all the things I tried had the most amount of effect on the condition. He said that sometimes the candida infection gets deep into the cells and can exist there without the person even having thrush symptoms. Other people have written on this thread and also talked about anti-fungal medicines having a good effect. Only problem is I don't think you can take this medication when pregnant.
You could try something called Grapefruit seed extract or Citracidal. This is highly regarded as a natural treatment for all sorts of bugs and viruses and there is a lot of info on the Net about it. I can't say I have had any success with it as I am a bit rubbish about persevering with things. I plan to try it properly one day though! I am certain that Fungal infections is part of my problem. I have had athletes foot for more than 10yrs that never really goes away completely. I get the occasional thrush symptom too. I definitely eat too much fruit and sugar but I honestly feel that giving up fruit of all things is one for the 'too hard' box!
Naturalmom I feel the same as you about all these fears I have. Its really hard to just tell yourself to relax and let go. The fears are real and I don't know how best to deal with them. Control of the mind is really hard and the more your try to control it, it seems it just gets harder? Lots of people talk about hypnotherapy but I honestly feel that I am not the sort of person who would respond to it favorably. For me the more I think about stuff, even when trying to be positive, the worse it gets. Take breathing techniques for example. I have had mild anxiety in the past which causes me to hyperventilate a bit. If I try to do relaxation techniques and focus on my breathing it makes me feel WORSE! So I can't win and for my most of my pregnancy I have just chosen to NOT think about the birthing part. But as the date looms closer this is getting quite hard!
I am very encouraged by the thought that childbirth has resolved the problem for some people. I think that as showering or bathing after intercourse tends to relieve the pain of vestibulitis then it is a MUST during childbirth. I also plan to investigate perineal massage and there have been women who have talked about using evening primrose oil internally after 37 weeks to prepare for childbirth.
Good luck ladies and I look forward to reading about yours and others' experiences.