Witching Hour - ARG!

[saffrongirl]

I know the "witching hour" is technically after midnight, but for us, it seems to begin around 5PM. It's right around then that all things seem to come to a head: I lose my patience with the four year old and start crabbing at her to stop hovering around me, dinner needs to be made and the hardest of all - the baby gets really fussy and crabby. She doesn't have colic per se and I don't really think it's food related; she just seems to start decompressing by fussing and screaming right around that time until about 7 or 8PM. Right now it's worse because DP is working out of town so it's just me and the two girls and I'm going insane.

I need methods to help calm things down around here or at the very least I need to know I'm not alone. Do you experience this at all? HELP!

[kismetbaby]

Oh yes. 5pm to 9pm is the worst time of day for us, although its gotten slightly better the past two weeks or so.

Basically, I can't get anything done, b/c the only way my LO is happy in the evening is attached to the boob. That's it. He just wants to nurse and doze all evening till he finally falls asleep for the night. The one thing he will calm down for is a bath. . .but that still doesn't help me get dinner done. Once the bath is over he is back to fussing.

So its been easy food or my DH cooking. I despair of being able to really cook a nice meal again!

So you are not alone! But I don'thave much great advice. Will your LO be happy in a sling or wrap so you can have your hands?

[dosergirl]

things that have definitely helped us (because we were going through it as well)

giving cora a bath in the evening as part of a nighttime wind down routine. she gets a bath and then eats and then sleeps. i do this when she starts to get fussy around 5 or 6. she loves baths though, not sure if that is why it helps.

we also got the aveeno lavender bath.

and in general when she is fussy, she loves to be bounced on the "birth ball".

and i can not leave out that day time fussiness is nonexistant now that we have our babyhawk mei tai carrier, which is literally worth it's weight in gold.

[Kmama2]

DDC crashing... but yeah. Witching hour is 4 pm-9 pm around here. I lose my patience by 3 pm with our 2 year old... thank goodness Dh comes home at 5 30 and helps out. Its so hard to make dinner with 1 hand and a whining toddler clinging to my leg

[2boyzmama]

nak

7am-8:30am is hard, then again around 6pm or so, for the same reasons! in the morning i have to get connor out the door to school, he wakes up grumpy and wants to only nurse, gavin wants to nurse, i'm trying to get connor over his recent boycott of breakfast, get him dressed, etc. luckily ian is getting better at entertaining gavin for me (or at least putting a pacifier back in for me!)

in the afternoons everyone's hungry, ian is just home from school and is a non stop chatter box, and gavin is in a snacking mood. luckily my husband is home and can take gavin for me, but i find myself being very snappy.

i implemented a "no yelling" rule a few weeks ago--for myself!--because there were just way too many tears during those two times of day. i don't allow myself to yell, period. i talk, explain, give options (you may watch a movie or i'll get your leap pad down, but you can not be in the kitchen right now), and when all else fails i silently remove the children from the kitchen. if they don't stay where i put them (living room, play room) then i put them in their room with the door closed. i go back in 2-3 minutes and calmly ask if they are ready to make a choice yet, if not i close the door and try again in 2-3 more minutes. *I* need those 2-3 minutes not only to chop one more veggie or stir the pot on the stove, but also to calm myself down!

gavin is either in the sling (if it's safe with whatever i'm cooking) or he's in his bouncer on the kitchen floor. he doesn't like the bouncer and is usually crying, i try his pacifier, and i just talk soothingly to him, explaining that i have the oven open and it's not safe right now for me to hold him, or that as soon as i wash the raw chicken off m hands i'll gladly pick him up. of course he doesn't understand me, but i hope that my voice helps somewhat, and the explanations make me feel better that i'm not just letting him cry for no reason.

for a while i wasn't cooking dinner and was doing cereal, pbj, frozen nuggets, canned soup, etc but it got to where when i did get a chance to cook "real" food, the boys were requesting cereal and pbj and refusing to eat. so i cracked down on it, started cooking and made them eat real food or nothing at all. it only took two nights of them going hungry to decide to eat what i cook, but now i know i have to keep cooking!! which means hectic crazy evenings. sigh.

[confustication]

It's much the same around here. The only way Keagan is happy from about 4pm onward is when he is nursing or being worn. I have an amazing husband who helps a lot though, and a toddler who will play (happily!) in the pack and play for 45 minutes at a time while I make dinner.. (no, I don't know how that happened, if I could explain it I'd write a book, but that particular child has been alarmingly 'easy' from the get go.) My daughter is old enough now to really help, instead of little-kid help- so I can ask her to measure ingredients, stir things, set the table, entertain the 16 month old, etc.

Stil, other than the time I toss dinner together, I often feel pinned to the couch nursing as that's all Keagan wants (and needs) to do.

I've adapted. I got up at 4am to nurse Keagan this morning, and instead of heading back to bed when he fell asleep, I made breakfast, washed dishes, did laundry, and started dinner (oh how I love my crockpot right now!) It's nearly quarter to seven, I'll go grab a shower and get ready for work and be out the door by 7:15... It means I'm running on about 4 hours of sleep most days, but it will get better as he gets bigger.

If you aren't babywearing yet- I suggest trying it out.

[greeny]

My trick: when witching hour begins, usually around 5 or 6 pm, I give Cassidy a bath and put her to bed. Even if it's only 6 pm. She sleeps just as long and gets up at the same time in the morning. And it eliminates the cranky period.

[saffrongirl]

Oh my gosh, you guys are awesome! It's ridiculous how lonely that time can be with a fussy baby and those desperate feelings. It's so nice to hear that others are in the same boat...even though I don't wish fussy baby on anyone. LOL. I'm sure this will get better each day. It's just so hard right now with no help - especially in evenings.

We do use the sling but she's mostly only into it when she wants to be sleeping and her neck isn't quite strong enough to not be supported yet. Arg. And she only deals with baths for my sake - doesn't necessarily enjoy them or calm down during them. I guess it's a matter of time. I dunno.

[confustication]

Keagan hasn't got much use for the sling other than when he wants to nurse while I'm grocery shopping, but if I get him inthe moby, I can get a couple hours of peace! For me, the shift from two kids to three was much harder than one to two, but for many people, the shift from one to two is the most difficult.

Oops- my time is up for the moment- fussy little person!

[Pandme]

Sigh, what about when babywearing doesn't work?

[saffrongirl]

Originally Posted by Pandme

Sigh, what about when babywearing doesn't work?

Yeah I have that problem. She likes the sling as long as it's time to sleep, but if she wants to just hang out, it's a hassle. I think I need a Babyhawk or Moby or something I can wear like a "backpack" type. Right now she still needs her neck supported so it's hard to wear her "out" in the Maya.

I've just been mostly holding her and letting her fuss if I absolutely need to put her down in the evening. I was wise today and started a soup early in the day to have for dinner. Also, I happened to turn the hair dryer on while she was fussy and she immediately calmed and fell asleep. She woke up right away when I turned it off...so we left it on for about a half hour. LOL. Seems strange but I guess the white noise was calming. At least I found something that seems to *sorta* help in a pinch, sometimes...maybe...for tonight anyway...

[greeny]

Also, I happened to turn the hair dryer on while she was fussy and she immediately calmed and fell asleep. She woke up right away when I turned it off...so we left it on for about a half hour. LOL. Seems strange but I guess the white noise was calming. At least I found something that seems to *sorta* help in a pinch, sometimes...maybe...for tonight anyway...

This works for me with the sink. I go in the bathroom (with the light off) and turn the sink on and she settles down within a few minutes and falls asleep.

[MichelleAnnette]

Originally Posted by greeny

This works for me with the sink. I go in the bathroom (with the light off) and turn the sink on and she settles down within a few minutes and falls asleep.

I have a white noise CD.

Witching hour here is late evening - she is falling asleep now at almost 11.

[coldandsleepy]

Our little guy is a bit of a night owl. He doesn't start fussing until 8 or 9 p.m. but it's all downhill from then on and he'll often fuss until midnight or 1 a.m. Oy.

We've gotten a lot better at handling it... basically we have a bag of tricks we cycle through. The first thing we do is make sure he's not hungry, because this is ALSO the time of day when he wants to nurse the most.

Then we try:
Diaper change... even if he's not wet, the act of changing him sometimes calms him
Clothing change
Wrapping him in a blanket, or unwrapping him if he's already wrapped
Bouncing him on the exercise ball
Bouncing him in the buzzy chair
Putting him in the Moby and walking
Moby + rocking on the glider in the back yard (I try not to do this after dark but it is the one thing that more or less always calms him down)
Moby + stairstepping (he LOVES this, but oy, what a workout for me)
Moby + dancing
Singing songs
His dad carries him around
Showing him the mirror (his new favorite thing)
Giving him a bath or a shower
Standing in the bathroom with the fan running
Running the kitchen sink (another last ditch thing-- we live in a state with constant water shortages so I really try not to do this unless nothing else is working!)
Holding him across a lap and doing bicep curls with him
Switching parents (sometimes he just wants the other one!)
Playing music
Holding him up by the armpits (no idea why this calms him down, but it often does)
Changing the position we're carrying him in
Letting him suck on our fingers (he no longer likes the pacifier at all)
Helping him find his own hand to suck on

And on and on. We basically try stuff until something works. Some nights we only have to do one or two of these things, some nights we do them all.

[LilaQ]

don't mean to highjack this thread but I read they outgrow the "witching hour" fussiness around 3 months. do you find this to be true? also, is there any way to start a decent nighttime routine before they outgrow the fussiness? our routine right now is just to get thru it until he falls asleep.

[zenproof]

really random - this just started happening for us too. anywhere between 6pm - and when we put him down to bed...till 9pm or so. its MADDENING!!!

its like something switches in him and he goes BERSERK!

[bright_eyes]

I found this on youtube and it helped get him to sleep during his super fussy time yesterday.