Gosh, I really don't have any poop stories! Guess we chose the right brand of diaper covers for our shape of baby!
But because my son and I commute by public transit every day, we have had many awkward moments out in the public eye when both of us were tired after a long day. Here's the one that comes to mind: When he was 2, I found myself staggering across a university lawn (from one bus route to the other) carrying him by approximately one wrist and the other ankle or whatever I could grab as he writhed angrily and shrieked, "I DON'T WANT A BIRD TO EAT IT!!!!!!!!!"
and also carrying two bulky tote bags, carrying my son's sock in my teeth, and wearing his little blue parka on my head, while he was wearing just a T-shirt and pants and one shoe and sock in ~15-degree weather. There were all these 19-year-olds outside smoking and sneering at me, and then I passed a well-dressed older couple who stared at me with such horror and judgment that I spat out the sock and yelled, "Yes, I'm a TERRIBLE MOTHER!! Okay? Just terrible!"
It was not my finest moment. Or my child's.
You see, he had been eating trail mix while we waited to cross a busy 6-lane street, and just before the light changed he dropped one single oaty-O on the sidewalk, so as I led him across the street he started complaining that he wanted to go back and get his O; I explained that we do not eat things off the sidewalk, but don't worry, a bird will eat it and be thankful for it; that was not acceptable to him, and after a few minutes on the sidewalk trying to reason with him, I agreed to go back to get the O, but in that time (with many pedestrians in the area) it had vanished; after a few minutes searching for it in the dark (I mean, under streetlights at 6:30pm in January) and snow, I insisted that it was time to go home. He then took off his shoe and coat to demonstrate that we could not possibly leave the area; I stuck the shoe into my bag, but the coat wouldn't fit. Then his sock came off during his attempts to knee me in the throat. What a terrible mother I am.
But if I saw another family in that situation, I would find it pretty funny
and feel sympathetic and try to help. Like the time I held open the door of a turnpike service plaza for a daddy struggling to hold a child who was kicking him in the stomach while screaming, "I AM NOT