Jewish Mamas - Nutcracker: Yay or Nay?

[zinemama]

I wasn't sure exactly where to put this, but here goes.

Last year a friend of mine (also Jewish) and I took our kids to see The Nutcracker. It was the first ballet her 8yo dd and my 9yo ds had ever seen and they loved it. The kids are clamoring to go again this year and we're planning to get tickets.

My husband does not approve.

He considers the Nutcracker a Christmas ballet and thinks it's inappropriate for Jewish kids. I think he's got nothing to be upset about.

I consider Nutcracker to be a ballet set at Christmas time, but not about Christmas. It's one of the most accessible and enjoyable ballets for the average (i.e. not ballet-crazy) kid. It's got giant fighting rats and a prince; dancing snowflakes, personified candy, leaping hoop dancers, etc. It's pure spectacle.

If it were a ballet about the birth of Jesus, with shepherds, angels and the rest, sure, that would be different. But that's not what the Nutcracker is.

What do you think?

[Magelet]

The only "christmas" thing about it is that it is a christmas party with a christmas tree, and usually happens around "christmas time" but which is also just december and channukah time. I mean, other people celebrate christmas, thats a fact of life. *shrugs* but to me, who grew up dancing the nutcracker every year, it seems very strange. Its more about the fantasy than about christmas. (even as a kid when we would play nutcracker, it wasn't about christmas. It was about the scene recieving and braking the nutcracker, or fighting the mice or the sugarplum fairy or something like that.)

Personally, I think its still a great ballet for jewish kids. but if you can't agree on it, maybe another "storybook" ballet? I loved sleeping beauty when I went when I was 5. (of course, I was already a ballet lover/nut/dancer)

[honey-lilac]

Not Jewish, but just wanted to chime in. There are many scenes in the Nutcracker that don't involve any Christmas elements at all. (Depending on the production, anyway.) If your DH is very against certain elements, I would respect his wishes (if I couldn't convince him otherwise!) but I wouldn't want my kids to miss out on it totally. I might have them go see another production live, of a different show (like Swan Lake) but I would let them listen to the music and watch youtube clips of various scenes that don't have anything Christmass-y in them. I was vegging out the other night watching Nutcracker vids, I'm a dork.

That said I hope you can convince him that it's not Christian. Has he seen the play? Or has he just been told it's too Christian to watch? He might not even know what exactly is going on.

[cappuccinosmom]

If it were a ballet about the birth of Jesus, with shepherds, angels and the rest, sure, that would be different. But that's not what the Nutcracker is.

What do you think?

I agree with you. It has nothing to do with Jesus or the Christian religion whatsoever.

Christmas is sort of a themed decoration for the Nutcracker, nothing more. Ask him to flip the situation around and think about his assessment of a person who refused to attend a secular cultural event because part of it's backdrop or setting had something to do with Judaism (or Islam, or Buddhism, you get the picture).

ETA: This is from my perspective as a Christian who celebrates Christmas. Since I'm not Jewish I've no idea what the proper advice would be for dealing with a disagreement like this, or whether it truly would go against Jewish values to view something that has a secular/cultural connection to Christmas.

[Faliciagayle]

We're thinking about taking DD this year and she's 2 I love the Nutcracker and as a kid I never connected it with Christmas at all. My sister danced as The Nutcracker Prince, my mom danced as a party goer, and honestly, I never thought of it as a Christmas tradition.

Now that I'm a mom, I can see where your DH is coming from. It gave me pause as well (the fact that the production is so tied to Christmas time), but it's art, easily accessible art, generally welcoming to children because of the time of year (our town has children's pricing - for kids 2 to 10!) and so I have no problem with it.

And I second/third the suggestions of taking them to other traditional story book ballets if it really, truly goes against DHs wishes. Disney's Sleeping Beauty was based off the music of the ballet, and the story line is more closely related to the ballet than the original French fairy tale. If your girls are familiar with the Disney version it might be more fun/appropriate to take them to that.

And are they clamoring to go because they crave a tradition - every year we go see This at This time? Or because they really and truly loved The Nutcracker?

As a side note, I always wanted a sleeping gown like Clara's and I finally found a pattern for adult and child size versions! Woohoo!

[smeisnotapirate]

I think your DH is overreacting. On that same vein, you shouldn't take your kids to shopping malls - you may see a Christmas tree, which is the only overly "Christmas" part of it.

I danced it every year - twice with a Jewish Clara and once with a Jewish Rat King. It's a fantastic fairy tale ballet.

Your DH needs to relax, but if he can't I third the "Sleeping Beauty" recommendation, and also add "The Three Musketeers" as a show to take the whole family to. Lots of intricate swordplay and fun choreography.

But really, your DH needs to go see it with the family this year - sounds like he never has. Santa doesn't show up, no Jesus, nothing but the big honkin' tree, which disappears as soon as she goes to the fairytale land. Really. Tell him it's just a backdrop for Act 1, and drag him to it this year. If he still objects after seeing it, then I guess you should honor his wishes.

[merpk]

I used to see it every year, either the ballet on public television or on stage, if I was lucky. And "Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer" and "Frosty the Snowman" and "A Charlie Brown Christmas" and "Miracle on 34th Street." And while we were far from Orthodox, we were very solidly Conservadox and entirely Jewishly identified. It's not that big a deal.

When I was a kid, watching shows never made me feel badly about being different. Going into the city every year "to see the lights" never made me feel badly about being different. Watching it all, on TV or stage or behind Macy's windows on 34th Street never made me feel badly about being different.

The whole shopping thing, though, being in malls this time of year with the Christmas music, the lines of kids waiting to see Santa Claus, having it all surrounding me like that, immersed in it, did make me feel badly about being different.

[umsami]

I'm Muslim, and just had this conversation with DH. DS1's Pre-K class is putting on a version of the Nutcracker as well as going to see it. I didn't have any issues with it, but he too wondered if it was a Christmas thing.

Really, it isn't (My Mom was a ballerina.) There's the whole giant tree thing... but other than that, not really. It's really a great introduction to dance for kids... fabulous music... and the wonderful divertissements.. coffee, tea, chocolate, trepak/Russian dance, etc.

I'd also add "Coppelia" to the list by smeisnotapirate.

[zinemama]

Thanks for the input, everyone!